Knowledge I've heard

Bits of Knowledge I've heard...

-Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good.

-Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.

-Stupidity got us into this mess - why can't it get us out?

-Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.

-Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

-Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly and for the same reason.

-An optimist thinks that this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears that this is true.

-There is always death and taxes; however death doesn't get worse every year.

-People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them that Benjamin Franklin said it first.

-It's easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.

-I don't mind going nowhere as long as it's an interesting path.

-Anything free is worth what you pay for it. Indecision is the key to flexibility.

-It hurts to be on the cutting edge.

-If it ain't broke, fix it till it is.

-I don't get even, I get odder.

In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.

-I always wanted to be a procrastinator, never got around to it.

-Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.

-I am a nutritional overachiever.

-My inferiority complex is not as good as yours.

-I am having an out of money experience.

-I plan on living forever. So far, so good.

-I am in shape. Round is a shape.

-Not afraid of heights - afraid of widths.

-Practice safe eating - always use condiments.

- A day without sunshine is like night.

-I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.

-If marriage were outlawed, only outlaws would have in-laws.

-I am not a perfectionist. My parents were though.

-Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hair stylist you like.

-You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.

-One of life's mysteries is how a two pound box of candy can make a woman gain five pounds.

-It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.

-The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

-Time may be a great healer, but it's also a lousy beautician.

-Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.

-Age doesn't always bring wisdom, Sometimes age comes alone.

-Life not only begins at forty, it begins to show.

-You don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stopped laughing.