HUMOR Digest - 10 Apr 1997 to 11 Apr 1997

Date: Thu, 10 Apr 1997 03:38:15 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Moore on Women

I can now put a stop to all this "God, she..." stuff. Consider if you will all of the known planets and stars. They've never once been rearranged.

The divorce court was attentive as the wealthy Yuppette complained to the Judge that her husband had left her bed and board.

When she had finished, the husband's lawyer rose to his feet and coolly replied, "Your Honor, I have a slight correction in the typing of the charging documents. My client claims that he left her bed 'bored'."

Personally, I think the reason the girls and women of today will do things their Mothers wouldn't ever think of doing is that their Mothers didn't think of doing them.

The Mother came home early from shopping and entered the darkened living room to find her daughter making love with her boyfriend on the couch. She gasped, then exclaimed, "Well -- I Never !!!"

There was a slight pause, then, out of the dark came her daughter's voice, "But Mother... you must have."

Adjusting to marriage sometimes poses some unexpected problems. But when I came upon a friend of mine in a bar the night after his wedding I had ask exactly what he was doing there instead of with his new bride.

"Well, you see, this morning when I got up," he said, "I was barely awake from a wonderful night of love-making. More out of habit than anything else, I put a fifty dollar bill on the dresser."

I told him not to worry about it, that his new wife probably wouldn't even think anything of it; that he could always say he left her some spending money.

"No no !" he said, "You don't understand. She was half asleep too and gave me $30 change."

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