HUMOR Digest - 5 Jan 1999 to 6 Jan 1999

Date: Tue, 5 Jan 1999 04:13:23 -0500
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Religion

The Bible states that the meek shall inherit the Earth.

Unfortunately, the strong keep contesting the will.

As I understand the "Quaker" faith, they strive never to have any disagreements or arguments nor become angry. I think that pretty much sums-up why the Quaker men currently outnumber the Quaker women approximately 17 to 1.

Speaking of Quakers (I was) a Rabbi in Pennsylvania complained to an associate that many of the younger people in his Temple were converting to the Quaker faith.

The associate responded, "You've got the same problem ? Why in my Temple, some of my best Jews are Friends."

Speaking of Jews (I was) when Mrs JimJr and I lived in Randall Ridge, the community was perhaps 40-50% Jewish. A new neighbor invited to one of our Holiday parties, commented on the lack of Christmas decorations in the development: "I wish I'd have known how many Jews lived in 'The Ridge'. I'd never have bought here."

Another of our guests, Ms Ruthenburg, smiled sweetly & replied, "Perhaps you should have tried Hell -- there are no Jews there."

A Priest at a Church picnic was staring at a member of his parish wearing the tiniest of bikini's. A Nun walked over and said, "Shame on you Father, staring at that woman like that !"

The Priest replied, "Sister Mary Elizabeth, I know you to be on a diet, and yet I saw you ogling the buffet."

When Columbia Maryland was constructed, its founder stressed diversity among the monied above all else. In the early days, four churches were established for a very small population.

Following a service, a visitor commented to the Minister on the sparse attendance saying it appeared his flock wasn't doing well.

"This is true." the Pastor responded. "But thank God the other three Churches are having lots of problems too."

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