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HUMOR Digest - 26 Jan 1999 to 27 Jan 1999
Date: Tue, 26 Jan 1999 04:56:33 -0500
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Reluctant Hosts
Remember as a host or hostess you are not obliged to make your guests feel at home.
If that's all they wanted, they would've stayed there in the first place.
If you're ever at a party and not sure who the host & hostess are, just use my method of identification.
The host will always be the one watching the clock the most. And the hostess will be the one who watches how much and what you eat.
Although science probably sez otherwise, my daughter Sandy seems to have inherited my strong suit for subtlety.
At a birthday party for Libby, her 3-year-old, the noise was approaching that of a chorus of jack-hammers. Sandy announced, "There's a special prize for the one who goes home first."
Babette, my neighbor and fellow anti-Yuppie conspirator and I were at a fund raising event in Columbia Maryland. A beaming Yuppette rushed over and gushed, "Oh my Babette, I was at your pool party last weekend."
"Thank God I wasn't." replied Babette, taking another sip of her drink.
Most of us have been in the situation where we've invited guests to our homes to repay obligations. One such boring couple attended our New Year's Eve party.
As they were leaving, the woman said, "This was fun Jim, we've got to do this again."
I replied (stone-faced), "I agree Jody, see you both next New Year's."
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