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You asked me the other day why I still love you..... I hope this page will explain! I wrote this with my heart.....and as you know my heart tends to write novels.....please fogive me!~

Although we stand on separate shores, so many miles apart....I see YOU, my lover in my mind, and I feel YOU in my heart.....and as we sit behind our screens, chatting with each other, we leave this realm behind us! I thought our souls were drifting towards one another, to a world of expressive dreams, where time and space no longer exists, the ultimate interactive fantasy.....trying to keep our spirits dancing with one another....I see my soul reflecting back to me and I often touch the screen and wonder...is this a dream or reality??

In the morning when the sun is just starting to light the day I am awakened and my first thoughts are of YOU! At night, I stare at the dark trees silhouetted against the quiet stars, I wonder if you are looking at those same stars and my last thoughts are of you...because you see I love you!

I miss you in ways I can feel, but have no way to truly explain. Ways that are uncontrollable by reason and logic. My heart stands lonely....looking through the windows of my soul waiting for your returned love, I feel like a solitary firefly fluttering around aimlessly, hoping you will choose me. I'm consumed with emptiness amd longing as big as the night sky! I thought only you can make this dark world of mine shine again! I thought without you I had no sunrises to look forward to...I miss the sounds of your laughter....the smell of lying next to you...your hugs...the puddles....My only solace is that someday I will find a rainbow and feel the warmth as it arches towards the sunshine and heaven...I am sorry we are not each others rainbow!

My fingertips stroke the keys ...caressing the distance between us...demanding and offering typed truths...giving and receiving a complex mixture of reality and fantasy....of discernment and illusion...through the glow of a monitor.....a lonely mouse clicks and skitters....searching for the warmth of a bed in technology....the warmth of the bed we shared for those few nights we spent in each others arms....Should I continue to embrace the emotions I thought we once shared.....or reboot and surf to safer grounds???

You Forgot to Say Goodbye

I look back and realize, that in your heart, you left me long ago...that is... if I really ever had your heart?? It's funny, but what causes the most pain is knowing....that you forgot to say goodbye....The pain doesn't come from knowing that our dreams, once exciting and new, are now just mine alone. Or that love, once burning with the heat of what could be, is now reduced to ashes of cold memories. Doesn't come from the realization that you stopped seeing that I needed the warmth that comes from holding you, that you stopped seeing I needed to be held. It comes in knowing that you forgot to say goodbye! It's not the times you forgot to see the tears caused by the hurt of losing you, the lies you told, or the way you neglected to see the loneliness in my eyes. Not the way you forgot to see the little child in me, needing the comforting touch of you and your comforting words....Doesn't come from the pain you caused by breaking the trust I had in you or competing for the attention of another women...... Not the way you stopped being the world I knew.....It comes in knowing...that you forgot to say goodbye.......Wish I could stop the pain in knowing.....that you forgot to say goodbye........if only you took the time to tell me.....you left me long ago....

It's time I take the time for ME...not for US or you...but for me to mend my broken heart....Though I will never know why my love was not strong enough for you to feel through cyberspace, the phone wires or shared nights of sweet bliss...I must move on......without you in my life~~ This time I will say Goodbye~~I have learned from knowing you.....

Total Eclipse of the Heart By: Bonnie Taylor Turn around Every now and then I get a little bit lonely And you're never coming around Turn around Every now and then I get a little bit tired Of listening to the sounds of my tears Turn around Now and then I get a little bit nervous That the best of all the years have gone by Turn around Every now then I get a little bit terrified And then I see the look in your eyes Turn around Bright eyes Every now and then I fall apart And I need you now tonight And I need you more then ever And if you'll hold me tight We'll be holding on forever And we'll only be making it right Coz' we"ll never be wrong together We can take it to the end of the line Your love is like a shadow on me all the time I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks I really need you tonight Forever's gonna start tonight Forever's gonna start tonight Once upon a time I was falling in love but now I'm only falling apart There's nothing I can do A total eclispe of the heart Once upon a time there was light in my life But now there's only love in the dark Nothing I can say Total Eclispe of the heart.......