The Glamorization of Poop

      Folks, what is wrong with this picture? I can count at least 4 right now. First of all, the kid is obviously in pain, one can only assume from "pooping". The second picture is the butt of a horse, which can only lead us to believe that this horse is also, not unlike the goofy looking kid in the picture adjacent to it, pooping. The bird in the left hand bottom corner may be pooping, we don't know for sure, but we'll make the assumption.

The last critical error in this picture is the apple. Why is there a picture of an apple on this book? Are apples capable of pooping? Apparently, if you live in Japan(the birthplace of this book), this is common of apples. "Taro Gomi's Everyone Poops is an educational, artistic and very simple explaination of the phenomenon of pooping--passing waste from the body." I did not make this up, this is an actual summary of the book. It's very hard to take seriously.

People, I'm not making all this up. I didn't just find a picture of this book on the net and make up a story to accompany it(as I have with other things). I've lived this book. I saw the pictures inside. At the end of the book is a lineup of animals pooping. Everyone Poops, being a Japanese work, is not considered questionable literature in its native land. However, here in my native land, the US of A, it's controversial. More confusion occurs when observing the Japanese farting book I saw, which embraces bodily functions and teaches children how to fart. Here in America, however, nearly a quarter of the population thinks farting is an inappropriate form of communication.

I know this because I took a poll consisting of four average Americans who happen to live in my household. I then multiplied. I have come to the conclusion that approximately 70 million Americans don't believe farting is acceptable conduct. Other polls conducted by myself have revealed a majority of Americans think the bird on Everyone Poops isn't taking a dump, and 13% of Americans contend that the apple on the cover is actually a walrus.

Do you think there are any American authors hard at work this very moment exploring the best teaching methods for farting? I'm afraid there aren't any. Whether or not that's a good thing has yet to be seen. Do we really want our Japanese counterparts to be ahead of us in presenting pooping methods? Because if we don't, we better take action. They're going to be pooping all over the place and with pride. We're going to be holding it in shame. They're going to be comfortable farting among family and friends. We're going to hold in shame. Who's got the advantage?

Although I'm sure with the sensitivity of the topic you're all disgusted with me by now, let me try to wrap up what I've tried to accomplish with this "book review". I think it's important for all of us to look to different cultures and consider their views. I think we should loosen up and start pooping. I don't care where you are. Why bother going to the bathroom? We need to wear diapers. The technology is there, why fight it?