Sites in the BattleAxe� WebRing:

Lamblor's House 'O VideoGames
Think your taste in video games can compete with the preferences of the truly experienced Silicon Valley patrons? Send in your suggestions to see if you rise to the top of the Hall of Prophets in a victory of mammoth proportions, or if you get shot down like so many others and slink into your reputable space in video game obscurity.
E-mail the site creator at Twinq at aol.com.
Click here to see the WACKY Hall of Prophets!
(Sorry folks, but the Wacky Hall of Prophets doesn't work if you're using a computer running Windows. It just won't be wacky unless you use a Mac. (Note to self: If I say "won't be wacky unless you use a Macie," will it sound funny or just gay?) Guess all you Gates-O-Philes will just have to come to my place to see it! WAH-HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!)
Click here to see the Slightly Less Wacky Hall of Prophets.
Gates-O-Phile-at-large Greg Kennedy requested this page be put up to quell the nerves of so many Windows users. Now, I won't be able to tell if this works or not, so complain to HornPipe2 at hotmail.com if it dudn't.

HammerDance Gateway
Are you familiar with all of those irritating "SomethingDance" websites out there on the internet? Well, this is one of them. Although this one has a personal twist...
E-mail the site creator at HornPipe2 at hotmail.com.

"Zabba Du Dabbu." -Falco Lombardi
Click here (well, up there, really) to download a poorly recorded .wav of the most famous quote to ever come out of StarFox for the Super Nintendo. Yes, the one and only "Zabba du dabbu" spake by Falco Lombardi. Load it in your sound player, set it on a loop, and slowly drive yourself insane.
E-mail the sound editor at SuperGeko at aol.com.

Base Wars homerun fanfare
And if you thought nearly-intelligible speech from a Super Nintendo game was a sight (or, sound) to beheld, take a listen to this puppy. The fans of Base Wars for the Nintendo Entertainment System will recognize this as the muffled "Yesh!" and subsequent spacey music that accompanies a homerun. It still brings a tear to my eye to this day.
E-mail the sound editor at SuperGeko at aol.com.

Skate or Die 2 title theme
Keeping with the theme of speech at a bitrate less than that of your digital watch, I present to you the title theme to the NES classic, Skate or Die 2. I never got around to realizing what an intricate, ahead-of-its-time theme this simple NES cart had, renting it when I was about 8 years old. Now, in some feverish discussion gone wild, I have to prove that this particular game featured a shower of body parts when the character would wipe out off-screen, something unheard of by Nintendo's standards. So I downloaded a perfectly legal ROM of it, and started to play. Both the good news and the bad news is that the ROM can't get past the intro screen. Unwittingly, I unearthed this gold mine from the times when video game pop culture didn't have any ties to the phrase "techno remix."
E-mail the sound editor at HornPipe2 at hotmail.com.

BattleAxe� Inc. Official Intro
Jesse Eats it Yet Again: Part I
Jesse Eats it Yet Again: Part II
Jesse Eats it Yet Again: Part III
BattleAxe� invites you to look upon and/or be amazed by the first of its new line of DreamCast VMU Animations, courtesy of PlanetWeb and the sheer volume of violence in the media.
E-mail the VMU Animation creator at SuperGeko at aol.com.
Get the full, uncut version of "Jesse Eats It Yet Again" through aljskfd2 at aol.com.

Gallery 36
ETC 35
ETC 36
ETC 86 -- EVERYONE LOVES KARI WUHRER'S BREASTS!!!
Cap-O-Rama Page 38 (Currently down vol.2)
Miscellaneous Page 7, 2000
Miscellaneous Page 9, 2000
Miscellaneous Page 66, 2000
Miscellaneous Page 92, 2000
Miscellaneous Page 126, 2000
Miscellaneous Page 19, 2001
Commercials Page 90
Best of the Best 9(2000)
Glitter's Second-Funniest Caps of the Millennium
Xena Page 19
ABServo Caption Picks #76
Crossing Over with John Edward (Currently down vol.1)
Indo's Caption Menagerie, 2001 Edition
Page 1 EFC
Captioned That: "Greatfellas," Take Two
Now, I'm as surprised about these links as you are. Apparently a few people have started to make Mystery Science Theater 3000's CAPTION THIS! Hall of Fame pages. I had no idea that I was on any of these until a few days ago. If you've never been to MST3K's CAPTION THIS!, I suggest you go, sign up, and be merry. By the way, most of these links will be dead at one point or another. Such is the plight of the Internet user, website creator, service provider, etc. DAMN YOU, INTERNET, DAMN YOU IN ALL OF YOUR, eh, I don't have enough energy to complete this baseless rant. Go click on something.
E-mail the site contributor at SuperGeko at aol.com.

The Tetris Entity
Come see the crappiest website on the net. I whipped this Tetris site up as a project for my Network class because I happened to be playing TetrisDX at the time and it was the only thing I could think of. It's painfully dull and obvious at times, but it plays adifferent MIDI for each page it has (four). I stuck it up on GeoCities because I didn't feel like my half-hour of HTML programming should go to waste. I guess it's important to note that my dumb-as-a-sack-of-doorknobs luddite Tech teacher gave me an educational merit award because I had the ability to make .gifs with transparent backgrounds while the rest of my class was busy striking flint rocks together.
E-mail the site creator at SuperGeko at aol.com.

BattleAxe Discount Emporium
Are you sick of spending upwards of 60 bucks for a shirt just because it has a designer logo on it? Fear not; now you can shell out extremly petty amounts of currency to get clothing with the most powerful logo in corporate America today. Dominate random pedestrians' psyches at rock bottom prices!
E-mail the shirt graphics designer at SuperGeko at aol.com.

Nickel Arcade
"I've seen a lot of PA parodies over the years but that has got to be the worst." - Mike Krahulik, Penny Arcade.
E-mail the site creator at HornPipe2 at hotmail.com or the artist at SuperGeko at hotmail.com.

You know, I've been seeing more and more of those little mini-banners scattered along the sides of a few websites. I wasn't sure what to think about them at first, but they've been growing on me as of late. So much so, that I decided to make a few of my own. That, and I'm an egotistical bastard who wants other people to link to my site. So swipe these images, load up your hacker tool (Linux) and drop them on any website you can break into.

Graaaagh!
A Dark Alleyway

MonstersGame
Heh heh, this is a nice idea. Just thank me when you climb to the top of the ranks in the world of the undead.

The REAL American Hero
Now this is interesting, to say the least. Not sure how well it works, though. This is a script that produces links to one hundred fake email addresses. The idea is for businesses that utilize webcrawlers in their search for viable email addresses to mail spam to will get choked with the returns of multitudes of invalid... things. I just feel sorry for the guy who registers kghtdmpbfh@lxwxxyiommnmurf.com as his address.

BattleAxe Inc. Cancer Fighting Team
This is probably the only worthwhile project the Internet has to offer. Well, this and the Digital Archive Project. For those not in the know, grid.org hosts the services of the United Devices Global MetaProcessor, that is currently processing data having to do with cancer, smallpox and anthrax research. When your computer is idle, instead of having its precious, precious resources go to waste, it uses what you're not to work with medical experiment data. It hardly affects your computer use at all, and you cure cancer to boot. After all the porn you've downloaded, I think you owe it to the Internet. And don't forget to join the BattleAxe team up there.

Bad Designs
You know when you read a list of "crazy warning labels" containing such infamous jems about not driving your car with the windshield cover in place? And then you invariably ask yourself "Who on EARTH would need these directions to safely operate any of these devices?" Well, I found that guy! His main two excuses for being a moron usually include the fact that he doesn't pay attention to anything when he does anything, and other morons sometimes do the same things he does which makes it okay.