It was getting harder and harder as the days went on to continue to provide for the boy who she loved more than herself; for the boy who she would do anything to save, but sometimes the willingness to do everything just wasn’t enough. He was getting sicker and sicker and desperate times call for desperate measures, so she did the only thing she could think of to earn the money quickly. She took on a few extra jobs and not all of them were the respectable jobs she would want. Only one person knew about her “jobs” but he was no longer talking to her and she figured it would be safe to keep doing it and not to have to worry about any of the others finding out. The disgust and embarrassment was trapped inside one part of her brain, she didn’t want to realize just how much she loathed herself for sinking to this level. The only thing that was keeping her sane was the fact that she knew that she wasn’t just doing this for money; she was doing this for her little brothers’ life. If she could save him then it would all be worth it.

Of course there were the days where it seemed to get harder than easier as she originally thought it would but that didn’t keep her down. Not even the disgust in the boys face kept her down and he was once one of her closest friends. Bit by bit Tale was getting better and right now that was the only thing that mattered, the only thing that meant anything at all. He was returning to the boy he had once been and he wasn’t the sickly six year old that had been confined to his bunk these past three months. He wasn’t coughing up blood or throwing up everything he ate. He was running around and playing with his toys again. Things were definitely getting better and once this was through with she would never have to worry about it again.

One particular day, to end all horrible days was finally coming to a close and she was walking home on the arm of one of her nicer “customers”. He was taking her back to the lodging house without even asking for what he had come for all because she had been having a rough day. He was different from the rest, merely because he wanted to know about her, he wanted to talk and to learn and he cared about what she thought. He was handsome, charismatic, and smart; plus he had enough money to do almost anything he wanted. Part of her felt like that was why she led him into believing that one day they could be more than what they were but another part knew that she was just doing what was expected of her, if he got the wrong ideas then it was his fault, not hers. As they approached the door he asked her out to lunch for the next day and she just stared at him for a moment, slightly surprised but nodded her assent.

It wasn’t a date, was the only thing that ran through her mind. It was just a proposition for an earlier meeting from one of the nicer fellows around. He walked off and she stood there for a moment and stared up at the lodging house in front of her, when Empire walked out from the shadows. With one glance she saw all she needed to see, the friendly face was no longer friendly and the smile was replaced with a leer. Quickly she ducked her head and went inside, hurrying upstairs to check on Tale. If one thing could make her feel better it was him.

Pausing as she entered the room, she looked around and caught sight of him. “Devlin?” The pounding of her heart was loud and the blood was rushing through her ears but somehow none of that could be louder than the deafening silence of the room. Not one breath could be heard, not one. Letting out an anguished cry she rushed to his side and gathered him into her arms, the only thing her body seemed able to do was cry and hold him. Hold him and cry cry and hold him. Nothing else seemed possible, the world around was fading and she knew with every breath she took a little more of her sanity left. The things that had occurred these last few months had taken their toll but he was what had kept her going, he was what had made her want to live and made her yearn to continue. Without him there was nothing keeping her from just slipping away into the despair that was swallowing her whole.

Flashes of event went through her mind; Reagan’s hanging, Tale passing out on the ride back to New York, the first night of her new job where Angel found out. Then things went through that had never occurred but that were crushing her just the same as the ones that had. Tale yelling at her for taking away his mother, Tracker looking so sad and disappointed, and Siren turning away from her for hurting her friend. None of those were real but they were possibilities and without Tale the possibilities were more crushing than the realities. Ecstasy came in after hearing her cries and she looked at her silently for a moment, “Do you need something?”

She just looked up at Ecstasy, her face filled with pain and tears running freely down her cheeks, “So cold...he’s so cold…”

Nothing else seemed real after that, just little hints of what had happened seeped through. Mostly her mind chose to forget, to lock away the secrets of that day forever. When she finally awoke she realized that he was gone and that he was never coming back. But without him, who was she? Was she Juliet or Kaleigh or would she have to be someone new? How could she go on without the boy who had loved her unconditionally for no reason at all? How could she do anything without him?

The words of the old man who had buried her friend came back to haunt her, ‘It’s Gods will child, God has a plan.’ Was it Gods plan to take him away from her? To make her feel this pain, this excruciating, never-ending pain. How could that be Gods plan? God should have taken her instead of Tale. God should have let him go on living because she didn’t know if she could live without her little brother.