She slowly walked up the stairs. She really wished she knew where he was working tonight. Graveyard shift. What timing. She approached the second floor landing with a sigh. Goddamn graveyard shift. It wasn't supposed to work that way, was it? But somehow it always did. It felt so wrong. God. Tonight was the worst, by far. The first time... Well, it could be forgiven. Fool me once... Shame on you. But not this. Fool me twice and yourself is the one shamed. God! What was she thinking? She wasn't. That's what the matter was. He enters the room and her brain turns off. It's not supposed to work like that, right? She proceeded to enter the bunkroom, crossing her fingers that no one would be there. If anyone had heard... She was quiet, of course, but there's no denying... She peered in. Empty. But she could hear people starting to pour in downstairs. Again she thanked God that the house had been empty. She ran her hands through her hair, and halphazardly tied it into a bun in back of her head. Aw shit. She gingerly touched the mark on her neck. Should she leave it down? What would be more obvious? She pulled her hair out of the bun. She could answer for that far easier than the bruising along her neck. She didn't think she could handle it. The taunting. She walked over to her bunk to fetch her nightclothes. All she wanted was to wash, rid herself of her sins. Sighing, she grabbed her things and proceeded to run herself a bath. The water was cold. Go figure. Almost 12, of course the hot water would be gone. But she couldn't care less. She locked herself in the bath. Ugh... A wave of nausea passed over her. She closed her eyes as she disrobed, trying to make herself as small as possible. Reducing the surface area. She stepped in. Holy geez! Freezing cold. Despite the frigid temperature, she found solace in scrubbing away at herself, washing away her indiscretions. Until she was raw. Until every ounce of shame was wiped away.

Finished. She dried away the little droplets of water and blood, avoiding looking at herself, and hurriedly slipped into her night clothes. And suddenly she was face to face with the mirror. She quickly turned away, stifling a whimper. She could feel herself start to quiver. Couldn't bare to face her eyes. She was frozen in place, just a few feet away from the frail little mirror. Small and insignificant object, but it horrified her so. The mirror never lies, you see, it showed her for what she was. What she thought she was. Worthless, dirty, stupid, shameful, hideous.

He had turned to look at her, taking a sip of his drink. "You want a refill?" She had nodded, not seeing the harm in it. Not seeing much of anything.

"Sure..." He'd walked towards her, bottle in hand, and filled 'er up.

"Why thank you." She'd deadpanned, taking a drink. What could it hurt, right?

"Welcome." He had replied, nearly as tonelessly, sipping his own a bit.

He could handle his alcohol far better than her, naive and eager. She stood to face him, placing her glass back on the table with a clink. She knew just what she was doing... Of course she did... But he was far from prepared to face the consequences of her, well, actions. She would, of course, make a fool of herself. He just watched her. She caught his eyes in hers briefly, wrapping her arms around his next. Funny, it always sounds like attempted murder, when the action is far from hateful. She had no idea how to go about anything; she barely knew what she was doing, and it certainly showed.

Still watching her he put down his glass. He paused. Then he kissed her. At this point our heroine could have either fainted or thrown up or, well, just about died. She returned it, running on auto-pilot, her fear however getting the best of her. She blinked as he pulled away, and grimaced as he grabbed his glass.

"I'm sorry."

The girl backed away, feeling very small and very stupid. "It's my fault. I... Have to go. I'm sorry..." She made a dash for the door, not thinking about anything, especially about what he might be thinking. Not caring. She left, hating herself. He simply stood there, not knowing whether to follow her or not. He didn't follow.

It's always that way. let go a little then pay the price. Life's no fairy tale. No handsome prince, no white knight on a steed. No escape from the tyranny. No moonlight and candles and a single red rose. A bottle of cheap liquor and low constitution. That's all. That's what started it. Low-grade hooch and a little false bravery. Should have been an indication of things to come. One mustn't build a relationship on such shaky foundations. Mind the pun... She couldn't help but stare at her sallow reflection. Her hair stringing and wet and tangled, her face red and raw. She couldn't wash away the guilt no matter how hard she scrubbed. Every damn time it went that way!

No wonder... She never gave him reason to think her anything but a whore. And a low class one at that. She tried to talk, tried to prove her status as a person... But the words would never form. Stupid. She acted so stupid. She was so afraid of scaring him away... Men don't like girls who think. But they also dislike empty headed fools, which is just how she appeared. She could ramble on all day about Wells or Hugo, or her vision of the future, or the state of mankind. But who wants to hear about that? All a man needs to know is that she is reliable, sturdy, quick and stable. That she can cook and sew and that she'll do her chores with a grateful smile. That she is pure but wise. Worthy of being a wife. Girls like her, they didn't fit that mould. The pretty ones, they could get away with it. Not her. She... She was nothing. Nothing. She knew that and so she jumped at the first guy who gave her a chance.

She wiped her eyes and scowled. Useless. Couldn't even make it as a prostitute. Who'd buy her? She shook. What was she doing? He didn't love her. He hardly knew her. Was giving away the only admirable quality she had worth it? For a moment of fleeting pleasure. For the brief sensation that she was someone. She didn't know.

Caught up in her own self-loathing. All she could do was stare at the beast staring back at her. Saturate in the hate and the disgust and fear. It flooded her head. She began to drown in her thoughts, they overwhelmed her.

He gently took her leg then hesitantly lifted her skirt a bit so it was out of the way, and started removing the old bandage. Biting her lip, she was barely breathing. He cleaned the cut up a bit more then bandaged it up again.

"There ya go."

She nodded mutely. "Thank you."

He stood. "Welcome." He smiled. "Anytime."

She couldn't help but smile back. "I'm much obliged."

"So how'd that happen again?" His face was still warm and pleasant. She bit back down on her lip.

"Um, a little accident in the kitchen. At home." She coloured, looking away. He smiled a bit, realizing she's never going to tell them how she actually got the cuts.

"Oh, right," he nodded. Now she smiled a little, realizing he'd given up on her telling him. She looked back.

"Yeah..." She paused, then went on in one breath- "Look, I wanna apologize for... For what I did. It was selfish and stupid and I'm sorry." Feeling ill, she choked on her words.

He watched her. "You don't have to apologize." She looked down, avoiding his gaze. She couldn't think of anything to say that wouldn't make it worse for her. "You didn't do anything wrong."

She sighed. "I-" She tsked, finally feeling the blush that had invaded her cheeks for the past... age. "Okay. Just..." She looked away again, a smirk spreading across her face. "Hmph. More proof that alcohol, as well as honesty, is the root of all evil."

He smiled. "One cup and you're like that. Can't handle your alcohol very well, can you?"

Smiling in spite of herself, she affirmed "Apparently not."

That had made her feel so much better. Fool me once... It had went so well. Conversation, by gum, real, live conversation. Relatively involved, even. See? It was possible... She chided herself. That's what it was supposed to be like. But no, she couldn't leave it like that. He kept the glasses flowing and she was afraid to say no. Heh. God, right after saying what a habit it was... She'd been intoxicated by Charity's cheap wine and, corny as it sounds, his touch. She was disgusted with herself. Then, now. She just stared... The past was just as vivid as the present, in living colour replaying itself in her own eyes. She shook, now gripping onto the sink. God, she felt sick...

She leaned to kiss his forehead. Her mild intoxication gave her a jolt of forwardness she would never have normally had. He smiled some then lightly took hold of her chin with his fingers and kissed her lips. She had no idea what to do, or even how to feel. But she kissed back a little, to show she wasn't, well, as afraid as she was. He moved closer and put his hand on her waist, the other still holding her face, still kissing her. What to do? She followed his lead, placing a hand behind his neck. Is this right? What is he thinking? She was thinking far too much, herself. Was that right? Oh boy, oh- oh... He slid the hand that was holding her face down her body a bit, then behind her back and deepened the kiss somewhat. Crap. What's going on? What's... customary? She was getting a little scared, but couldn't make herself stop. Frozen. This isn't right... She pressed her nails unconsciously into his neck, shivering.

He stood up, pulling her up with him, and pressed her up against a counter. Also being slightly drunk, he didn't seem to realize what he was doing, or what it was doing to her. She looked like an animal about to be slaughtered. She gasped a bit. Must stop, must... She didn't know if she wanted to stop, but she knew she had to. She pushed him off of her, her eyes wide in shock and fear. He looked at her, breathing somewhat heavily.

"I'm sorry..."

She was nearly shaking. "I- I'm... It's okay... I sho- should go." She rubbed her temples. "I-I'm sorry..." She headed for the door. "Goodbye..."

He watched her go. "Bye..."

Goddamn it! See? How the hell was a relationship supposed to work if it was built on drunken trysts? No wonder... She ripped the comb through her hair, almost vengefully. At this point, she couldn't care less if she'd tear it out in clumps. But oh, how she hated that kitchen. Something in it made the impossible seem possible and made inhibitions take the proverbial back burner. Damn it, anyways.

He started to swirl his drink around again, looking down at it, pursing his lips some, trying to think of a way to break the silence. She spoke up, almost sheepishly.

"Well, at least it's gotten a little cooler." When in doubt, resort to the weather, right? He nodded some, and took another drink.

"Yeah. Always colder at night."

She nodded. "Yeah..."

Shifting again, wrapping her arms around her knees and internally growling at her rotten conversation skills. (That's the root of it, isn't it?...) He glanced at her a moment, then leaned over and kissed her lightly. She froze, being really quite surprised. Heh. It didn't even take obscene amounts of liquor this time! Were they progressing? She didn't move to stop him, despite that. He pulled back, and looked away, a brief embarrassed blush invading his face.

"Sorry. That was uncalled for.." She couldn't help but smile a little at his reaction.

"Don't be," she started slowly. "It was nice." And it was. There was no force... She didn't really know what to do next; didn't want to make him even more uncomfortable. She pushed a piece of hair behind her ear, and carefully edged closer to him. Is that too forward? Probably, but it's a bit late now. He ran a hand through his hair, keeping his eyes down on his drink. She looked away, sighing. He mumbled a bit.

"I hate that I'm always drinking when I do that." He took another drink though. She skillfully hid the dark wave that crossed her face. He sighed and rubbed his neck some. She actually laughed.

"Pretty bad, eh? But then, everyone's prettier when yer drunk." She flashed a bitter little smile, then shrugged off the feelings of resentment.

She'd known that wasn't why. Or at least she'd thought she'd known it. It may as well have been the reason. Drunk and in a hurry to get laid. But it hadn't been like that! She stared at herself, and gritted her teeth a bit.

So ugly... Bet she wasn't even the first choice. Just the most convenie- No!

What was she saying? Of course not... He cared about her, she knew he did... Her eyes grew wide and liquid, and her mouth softened into a line. There were times when it seemed that way, times when it seemed possible...

"It isn't that." He deterred, finishing off his drink.

"What is it, then?" She watched him drain it.

He smiled some, glancing at her. "Just makes you do things you wouldn't think right, appropriate or have the guts to do sober."

She smiled a bit, not knowing just how to take the statement. "Sure enough," she said, with a bit of a cheeky look in her eye. It faded. "But don't think that... that's inappropriate. Or wrong." Her gaze went through him.

"Not at all..." He looked over at her, really wanting to kiss her again.

Instead, he nodded a bit and looked down. "Thanks." She extended her hand, tipping his chin up.

"What's so interesting down there, anyways?" She tried to get eye contact. He flashed her quick smile.

"Nothing." He looked at her... She inched her way closer to him, so wanting him to kiss her again. She just smiled, looking into his eyes.

"Didn't think so." He glanced at her lips for a second then back up at her eyes, and kissed her.

She smiled, feeling fleetingly warm. The old house was drafty and it was a cold night. And her hair was wet and she was in her thin little night things and... She didn't even notice. He could be so charming, so sweet... But- her eyes darkened alarmingly- then she had to go and ruin it. Turn an innocent thing into... That. The nails of her left hand began to tear into her palm. But oh... Who was she kidding? Was it ever really sweet?

She kissed him back, her heart all a flutter, placing her hand behind his neck. He reached over and put his glass down, and wrapped his arms around her, playing with the ends of her hair a bit.

She wrapped her other arm around his back, and traced her fingers down and around his neck. Dumb move? He laid her back on the couch, moving his arms so they were on either side of her, supporting his weight. Dumb move. She shivered a bit, smiling up at him. Idiocy is bliss, no? She reached up to loosen his shirt collar, unbuttoning the top button. What a brazen fool! But just the top one... Just so he wouldn't... He was a bit surprised by this, and rightly so, but of course wasn't about to stop her. He moved down to kiss her neck. Then the second, and third... Her head tipped back a little, and she wrapped her arms around him again, somewhat frightened but mostly... Just happy to be in someone's favor. Even, especially?, like that.

He tried supporting himself with one arm while he moves his other hand up to undue her blouse some. She would have actually have found it to be a rather comical scenario, if she were not the other character in it, underneath, being disrobed. He kissed her again. She was blushing, and almost shaking, but did not make any effort to stop him. Slut. She kissed him back, deepening it a little. Whore. He got it all unbuttoned and pushes it to the side some, running his hand over her a little. Worthless. He kissed her back. She shivered a bit, but kept her lips on his, and sort of pushed away his shirt. She pushed, and he pulled, pulled away with some effort, realizing they were still on the couch. Dirty. Dirty little worthless whore. She took in a deep breath and pulled her shirt back around her. She felt like she was coming out of shock. She glanced at him, but then her eyes drop to the floor.

He stood up all the way, a little out of breath, running a hand through his hair and muttering an apology. She started to re-button her shirt, eyes still averted. She shook her head.

"Don't be sorry..."

Don't be sorry because she's sorry enough for the both of you. A sorry, worthless individual. Who's too damn stupid to keep her legs shut. Keep her mouth shut. What got into her? What the hell was it? What was it about him that turned her into- no, that's not fair. Character is who you are when the lights go out. The real you is you with no inhibitions. The real her was the her with him, and she hated it. But... she was more than that! She smashed her fist down on the counter. She whimpered. Didn't realize her own strength... Isn't that how it goes? She was fully capable. Completely capable of hurting him, just as he could hurt her. What a horrifying thought. She nursed her hand, absently, and continued to just stare. So undeserving... She shouldn't have done it. Shouldn't have done it. She wasn't even sure if she had wanted to or not, she just... did. No thought involved, just action. She distanced herself? But why? It wasn't fair to him... He was so good to her. She was so dreadful to him but he was so good to her... Not at first, but it was worth going through all the stupid hurt to get to...

He glanced at her a moment and swallowed, then went quickly into the kitchen. She let out a disgusted sigh.

"What the hell am I doing?" She groaned, rubbing her temples. She got up, tidied her clothing, and started to sort of pace, not knowing what to do. Everything's a blur.

In the kitchen, he leaned over the sink and splashed his face with cold water. He sighed but glanced into the lobby at her. She glanced back at him, with a strange expression on her face, as if to say -what the hell just happened?- He sighed again and went back out into the lobby, grabbing his damn glass again and rubbing his face. She watched him, realizing that he wasn't going to say it, so she'd better.

"What exactly are we doing, Sean? Just tell me what you want to do, and I'm okay with it. I'm so confused, just say anything, please." She immediately wished she hadn't said anything at all. The disgusted? look on his face was enough to make her want to die.

"I don't know. I don't know what to do." He glanced at her. She watched him.

"Lovely." She sighed, defense-mode going up. "What do you -want- to do? I realize that you have no time for.. a girl, but..." She sighed again. He shrugged some.

"Well... I don't know. Is that what you want?"

"I don't know, either. I like you. I like being with you." She could have slapped herself for being so... girly and open and dumb. But she went on. "My God, I even like when one or both of us gets a little drunk and -this- happens. But I don't know." Enough of the emotion. "I'm not exactly an emotional person. I'd be the girlfriend from hell, and I wouldn't want to put you through it. And I realize you don't exactly have a place in your life for that right now, anyways. It's up to you, I suppose. I'm okay with anything." She forced a slight smile.

"I think maybe we should.." He sighed. "I don't know." He ran a hand through his hair and looked down, quite frustrated. She shook her head, almost amused, despite her irritation. Emotional barricade fully up.

"Look, I want you to know I'm not forcing you to do anything." She paused.

"How about we figure this out in the morning, hm? Don't worry." She shrugged a shoulder, and feigned nonchalance. Be cool about it, don't look hurt. Don't act like you care that he treated you like a dolly. That he used your body and chickened out when there was a threat of commitment. Don't act like you care. He nodded some.

"Okay. That sounds good."

"Alright." She forced a little smile. "In which case, I'll be going up to bed. Good night, Sean. And thanks." For smartening me up. For the disillusionment. She gave him a strange sort of look. He smiled slightly and noded.

"Good night."

She left.

But that's not how it's supposed to work. She stared deeper through herself. If she'd been somebody else... Would it have happened that way? Would he have been so hesitant if she'd been one of the other girls? Maybe. Maybe not. Not that it mattered, anyways... But she must keep in consideration that he was a male, after all, and it was a typical male response to having been threatened by commitment. She sighed, and ran her fingers through her hair to try and comb it. They're all the same, in the end. Even him. No use leaving herself open to hurt. No use getting emotionally attached. Not like it was ever about emotion, anyways. That's fine, right?

"So... How's Grace doing?" Conversation had gotten a little awkward.

Had to change the subject... He nodded some.

"Better. Thanks." Great, just made it worse.

"That's good." She lowered her eyes slightly. He licked his lips. "What about your family? How are they?" She watched him.

"Pretty good, actually. Ma's been doing more work lately, and nobody's been too sick... Well, Elsie has tonsillitis, we think, but that can be dealt with..." She drifted a little, trying to figure out something, then quickly snapped back. "Anyways. Nothing big. But no news is good news, right?" She shrugged a little. He smiled some, nodding.

"True." Finally, she had a somewhat contented look on face. She took a sip of water. He watched her then took her picture again, startling her. Her eyes widened.

"Woah, okay." She let out a slight nervous laugh. "Hope I don't break your lens." She shot him a teasing look. "I don't photograph well." He smiled some.

"Of course you do. Sorry, though. I couldn't resist."

"S'okay." She smiled embarrassedly, then paused. "Could I, um, take one? A picture?"

"Sure," he nodded, handing the camera to her. She took it carefully.

"How does it work, just..." She attempted to figure it out... He smiled.

"There's a button on the top left."

"Okay..." She found the button, and took a picture of him. She smiled a bit.

"Neat." He laughed some. She scrunched her nose at him a bit. "So I'm amused by little things, what of it?" She gave a slight, light laugh.

"No," he shook his head, "it's cute." She blushed a bit, and attempted to scowl at him.

"Thanks. I think.." She tried to think of something to say to cover up her awkwardness. He smiled at her, pausing a moment, then leaned over the table and kissed her. She responded a little, pleased as anything. Fellow of few words, but his actions were sweet... She pulled back, and smiled at him.

"So I guess this means we'll... try this out?"

He shrugged slightly. "Don't see how it could hurt." Typical male... Good point, though, of course.

She smiled impishly. "Exactly." She felt victorious, but couldn't really figure out why. He bit his lip a little. She sort of paled.

"I have to go out for a while. Will I see you before you leave?"

She nodded. Oh, the timing...

"Probably. Bye.."

He ran a hand through his hair, leaving the camera on the table and walked out. She watched him go, with a small sigh. It wasn't supposed to work that way... But it did.

Emotions just make things hard, anyways. She was with him because there was no reason not to be. He agreed because he may as well have. They enjoyed each other, that was about it. It worked just fine, but the more she thought about it, the sadder it made her. She had known what she was getting in to. She knew that it would work that way. She wasn't expecting romance and flowers, and all that lovey-dovey crap. It would have been nice, of course, but... You take what you're given. That much she knew. She let out another small sigh, and ran her fingers through the other part of her hair. She stared at her reflection, and shook her head. She had seen him before she'd left. Just for a moment... Was enough, though. But oh, had she missed him all the while she was gone. She didn't know why. Didn't matter... It was so nice, though, coming back, seeing him. Like something had changed, just a little. Absence making the heart grow fonder, or some such silliness? In any case, her eyes brightened a bit, it felt kind of hopeful...

Coney Island had been great. What an adventure! She and her best friend were exhausted from making the treck from Coney all the way to Bay Ridge, but it was nearly impossible to tell. They were laughing and joking like a couple of kids. But then, why not? Long lost friends, I guess you could call them. It was nice to see each other again. She'd felt so much better then she had in ages... All the positive energy... They made their way back to her humble abode quite quickly, despite the blisters, aches and exhaustion, and entered the lodging house carrying on like children.

"Oh yeah?" The strange redhead teased, as they threw open the doors, desperate to sit down.

"Yea-" A flashbulb went off. She blinked. "What the-?" She grinned, soon as she saw him. "Sean! Hi." He smiled and stood.

"Welcome back." The random Jane hid a grin, biting her lip. They were cute...

"Thanks," she walked up to him, and he gave her a kiss. She kissed back some, but pulled back, blushing.

"Missed you." He stated.

"Missed you too." She smiled, ignoring the girl snickering behind her, then turned to introduce the heckler. "Meet Cypher."

Cypher smiled brightly at him, and extended her hand. "I've heard so much about you." The other girl looked scared. He quickly glanced from girl to girl, then shook the outstretched hand lightly.

"Nice to meet you." He paused. "You have? What have you heard?"

"Only good things, I assure you." She grinned impishly, then nodded towards her friend. "This one thinks quite highly of you."

The brunette looked mortified, and kicks her lightly in the shin with a slight smirk. He smiled over at Gert, then backed up some.

"Can I get you ladies anything? Some water?"

"Sure, thank you."

"That'd be wonderful, thanks." One plopped down on the sofa, and the other took a chair. He nodded some then looked over at Gert for a second.

"I'm glad you're back." He went off into the kitchen to fetch their drinks. She smiled, watching him.

"You've got yourself quite the catch, there." Cypher poked, once he left, wiggling an eyebrow. "Cute, too." Gert rolled her eyes.

"You be quiet." She chided, but couldn't help but grin. "You're right, though."

And she was... She smiled, no longer as sickened. She began to plait her hair. It wasn't all bad, no way. That was an amazingly nice day. Her best friend, her closest brother and him, all together, NOT starting a war or bringing about the apocalypse. Maybe she'd been overreacting. Of course she had been...

He nodded some. "Bet it is." He slipped his arm down to rest around her.

"Where they ever together before? Relationship wise?"

Cypher and Henry bantered about random things, by this time "safely" on the other side of the room.

"Remember the time when Gert and I got hold of O'Leary's ink supply and-" Those two really did bring out the worst in each other. She tuned their antics out, continuing her conversation with Sean.

"No. Thank God. I'm not sure if it's totally impossible, but... Meh. He's always kinda liked her, but she's less than interested. I kinda feel sorry for him. It's worse than the old 'you're such a good friend', it's a 'you're like the little brother I never had'." She smirked a bit. "Better than 'little sister'..." Ah, the romantic lives of little brothers... Always comedic. He smiled some, and nodded. She added, almost under breath, "Besides, he's even more of a chicken shit than I am about those things. One-off's are more his style than, well, relationships." She snuggled into him a bit.

"Oh, not that again! The one time you get me, and you've still not let me live it down!" Her brother's voice carried. He suppressed a grin.

"Yeah, that's how I was." Sean went on. "Just never had the time for anything more then..." He shrugged some, trailing off.

"And you know I never will!" The banter of the other two continued.

She stiffened a bit.

"So... I suppose there's hope for the twerp yet?" Either that, or ouch for her... He glanced at her.

"Yeah, there's still hope for him."

"Mh." She gave a slight dismissive nod, to cover her momentary awkwardness, and returned to watching the floorshow.

She sighed, fingers still entwined within her hair. She shook her head, a little. It had seemed at the time like he'd been humoring her. But perhaps not. She was a fool to have asked, anyways. She couldn't meet her own eyes. She was fighting a debate within herself, and right then, which side was winning was unclear. She braided tighter.

He looked over at Henry and Cypher then back at her, a bit confused. She smirked good naturedly, in spite of herself.

"Just another long story. Don't exert yourself tryin' to figure it out."

"I won't." He said, nodding some, then smiling. She smiled a bit, herself.

"We've got alot of those, I'm sure you're noticing that." She felt rather sheepish, and it showed. He just smiled.

"Yeah, I am. Maybe one day you'll actually tell me some of these long stories."

"Maybe one day I will." Smiling was contagious. "I'll try and remember a good and exciting one, and I'll force it on you tomorrow. How's that?" He chuckled some and nodded.

"Sounds good to me." She wrinkled her nose a bit.

"Good."

There, one braid finished. She wound a piece of ribbon tightly around the bottom to hold it closed. What was she so worried about? They're relationship wasn't so bad... She conveniently pushed the evenings events to the back of her mind and let herself feel good, even if it was just for a moment. She started to braid the other half of her hair.

He smiled and used the hand not resting on her hip to play around with her hair some for, well, no real reason. She let out a small, contented sound, putting her arm behind him and just enjoyed it, totally blocking her guest and her brother.

On the other side of the room, the redhead smirked a bit to Henry.

"Think we oughtta let those two be?"

"I take it you had a fun trip then?" Sean tucked some of it behind her ear.

"Where's the fun in that? Just give it a second..." Henry smirked back.

"Yeah." Gert smiled. "It was great. Saw so many things... But it is sorta nice to be back..."

"Feel like interrupting?" Henry's grin was slightly malicious.

"But of course..." She followed him over to them.

Sean smiled some. "Yeah.. nice to have you back." He glanced over at them.

"Hello again." Cypher smiled brightly. "You two having fun?" She once again executed her trademark eyebrow-raise perfectly. Her friend glared at her. Sean moved away from her some, causing Henry to hide a smirk. Ah. What else are little brothers for but to screw up their sister's social lives? Gert looked exasperated.

"Uh huh..." She shifted her seating position, as well. He took a seat beside his sister. Cypher sat down, childlike, on his lap. His eyes widened immensely. Sean looked over at them and couldn't help but smirk. Gertrude grinned.

"Shall I leave you two alone?" She shot them a cheeky look. Her brother glared at her, feeling his cheeks start to burn, and Cypher just sat there happily and somewhat oblivious, swinging her legs a bit.

"Why ever would you ask that?"

Gert gave a short laugh. "You're hopeless, you know that? Hopeless loon."

She stuck her tongue out at her and hopped off.

Henry shifted in his seat, then decided to stand back up, muttering a bit of an apology to Sean, and backed up a couple of steps. He watched him and smiled some to himself. He put his arm more around Gert and kind of pulled her closer to him again. She smiled, satisfied, in spite of herself, settling back beside him. She couldn't help smirking a bit at her brother’s repulsed reaction.

She giggled, unaware. What a nice evening it had been. Why couldn't it always be like that? Innocent. Innocent and fun. And fully clothed. She pulled the last of the braid so hard it jolted her. She reached for another piece of ribbon to tie off the other braid.

He sighed quietly, shifting a little. She looked up at him.

"Mh?" He shook his head.

"Nothing"

"Sure?" She didn't wait for him to answer, because she didn't expect one, and changed her seating position a bit. He nodded, then watches her a moment. She glanced at him, tilted her head a bit and half smiled. Then promptly went back to staring at the back wall.

He wrapped both his arms around her and pulled her up onto his lap, kissing her. She was surprised, to say the least, but not at all displeased. She wrapped her arms around him, and shifted a bit in his lap to get comfortable, kissing him back. Cypher peered back in.

"You sure you do-" Her eyes widened, she pivoted and promptly returned to the kitchen.

He continued to kiss her for a few more moments, running his hands up and down her back then pulled away, smiling some at her. She smiled back at him, contentedly. Life was good sometimes, she thought, not really knowing what to say. Just the same, she was terribly amused and very happy.

"I think that's probably the first time I've knocked her speechless." She gave a smile/smirk. He slid his hands down to rest on her hips and rubbed them some.

"Just thought I'd leave you something to remember me by before I head out for the night." He smirked slightly, himself. Gert finally succeeded in the cheeky eyebrow thing.

"And what a memory it is." She kissed his neck. "Thank you." She sat up properly. "I'll see you tomorrow, then?"

He smiled, nodding. "Yeah. Of course."

"Of course." She smiled slightly. "Good night, Sean."

He chuckled a bit and sort of lifted her up, setting her back on the sofa then stood.

"Good night." He left; she watched him go.

That's how it was every time. It ended with her watching him go. She gave a frustrated sigh, but quickly shook the feelings off. One of the only genuinely good memories she had, she wouldn't let her foolish bitterness spoil it. Aw geez. She frowned at her hair. Lumpy. With a sigh, she combed the braids out. They didn't suit her, anyways. Damn, it was cold. She was still wet, and the cold air felt like it stuck to her. She shivered a bit. What's that? She leaned into the mirror. A blemish. Disgusting. Her skin usually wasn't that bad... Her frown deepened. She popped it between her thumb and forefinger, satisfied with the eruption. She'd rather a little red scar then a foul, mountainous bump. Didn't even hurt to do it, any more.

He nodded and watched her. He smiled a little as he sat up, resting his back against the wall at the head of the guest room bed.

"Ever thought about letting your hair down more often?"

She bit her lip. "Never really thought to. It's kind of a security thing for me..." She paused, but then decided to, just for him. They'd been talking for what felt like ages, and she was glad for it. Why not let her hair down? Let the physical match the mental. She carefully let out the pins, and brushed her hair out a bit with her fingers. "But oh well."

He smiled, watching.

"Very pretty." He reached a hand out and began to play with a lock of her hair. She blushed a little.

"Thank you..." She shimmied up so that she'd be sitting nearer to him. That bed was surprisingly comfortable, unlike her own sack-of-potatoes. A wonder, seeing how much it was used... He played with her hair some more and wrapped his arm around her waist.

"How's it a security thing? I mean, you're pretty either way but.." He shrugged some and ran a hand through her hair. She approached the question cautiously, blushing at his touch, and his phrasing.

"I'm not sure... Just one of those things, I guess. Some girls had their dollies to make them feel secure, I had, well, have my bun. It's silly. Another of my many idiosyncrasies." He just smiled a little.

"I never would have thought you'd be someone who was insecure." She smiled at that. That was certainly a feather in her cap! So sweet, he was...

"That's one of the nicest compliments I've ever gotten." She sighed a little. "S'true, though. But then, I think everybody can be... Ah well." She snuggled into him. He nodded slightly.

"Yeah. Guess you're right." He smiled and held her closer. She smiled, and looked up at him, giving him an innocent peck on his closest available bit of skin. He smiled and turned his head to kiss her a little. She carefully returned it. He smiled and rested his forhead on hers. "I'm glad we're giving this a try." He rubbed her hip and lower stomach with the arm that was around her waist. The shivers shot through her. She half smiled.

"Me too." She places an arm around the back of his neck, and gave him another quick kiss. He smirked slightly and kisses her neck. Such a male. Despite her cynicism, she bit her lip. Hard. She tilted her head back... Ok, probably shouldn't be doing this right now... Not ready for this... Not ready... She traced her fingers down his neck, then lets her arm drop. He glanced up at her for a moment then went back to kissing down her neck, his hand rubbing her side a bit more. Oh, screw that. Might not be ready, but... Who ever said self-gratification was such a bad thing?

Her mouth formed a small 'O'. Oh is right... She sat there, still. Such a strange sensation. Stranger still, as there was no liquor involved. This was real. No reason to be guil- He unbuttoned the top few buttons on her shirt and kissed her collarbone, again glancing up to see if she'll protest. No protests. In fact, she smiled, as if to dare him, wrapping an arm around her neck.Her eyes partly drifted shut, the reality of her current situation having not fully sunken in. No thought, just feeling. A sensory overload. He moved down some, bringing her with him and layed her down fully. He opened her shirt and kisses the newly exposed skin. A small sound escapes her mouth, her eyes still half-closed. She stroked his hair with one hand. He moved halfway on top of her and kissed her. She made no protest, even wrapping her arms around his neck, and kissing him back. But the reality of what was going on was finally dawning on her. She stiffened.

He rapidly removed his own shirt, kissing her with great need now and moved his hand over, trying to get off her skirt. He seemed to be going on instinct. "God gave man a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time." If she weren't so damned mortified, she probably would have chuckled.

"Sean, no!" She pushed him off of her. He backed away, panting some, and stared at her.

"Oh, shit. I'm sorry..." She watched him, expressionless. He did look it. The cynic on her shoulder chimed in- 'until you look at his trousers, then you'll know where he stands..." She ignored the thought.

"It's okay. I just... Not now." She looked down, and started to put her clothes back on. "I think I should go. I'm sorry..."

He ran a hand through his hair, utterly embarrassed. He nodded at her suggestion, throwing on his shirt.

"Good night..."

"Good night."

Yes, for God's sake, it did still hurt to do it. You do get desensitized, granted, but the thought is always there, in the back of your mind. That you're nothing but a whore. She grimmaced, running her fingers through her hair. Her ugly, ratty hair. Beautiful? Like hell. The composure that had started to come to her left infinately faster then it had came. They say that if you stick a frog in a frying pan, then turn up the heat right quick, it'll jump out like a flash to get itself out of the problem environment. She pursed her lips, thoughts of medical school flitting through her head. But if you stick it in the pan, then turn the heat up real slow... It won't move. Frogs are cold blooded, you see. Their body temperture depends on the temperture of their environment. The frog won't notice it's being fried alive, because it would, well, it would feel normal. Right. It would just sit there until it... Explodes? Blood boils? Burns to a crisp? She didn't know. Wasn't like she actually tried it. Not the point, anyways. Point was, it didn't realize how dangerous a situation it was in, and it died.

Wasn't that like her own situation? Slowly turning up the heat, higher and higher and higher... That's what happened. She wasn't thinking. She was a frigging frog. Her nails dug into her palm. She felt like she was about to explode, herself. What a fool...

He was sitting in the kitchen with a small glass of alcohol next to him, looking through a pile of photographs. She almost stormed in with a purpous.

"Hi."

He looked over at her. "Hello." She took in a breath.

"I wanted to appologize for what I did."

He looked away some. "You didn't do anything wrong."

"Yes I did. Just hear me out. I'd really rather you be angry at me than... ashamed, or apathetic, or-" She shook her head. "I should never have let it go as far as it did, and I didn't deserve to stop you. I knew exactly what I was getting into beforehand, but I still did it. Then I got scared and... I'm sorry. You proved to be the better person. You amazed me. You stopped." She frowned, and quickly went on. "You could have done whatever the hell you wanted, but you stopped. Because you have respect. You're alot better a person than I am, and I'm sorry for that, too. I don't deserve you." She said it all in one breath, pretty much, and it sounded rehearsed. It was. Even so, she messed it up, anyways. She lowered her eyes and exhaled.

He sighed and got up, going over to her.

"Listen. I'm not a better person then you. We got a little carried away. It's all right. It happens..." She had her mind set, but just nodded mutely, so embarassed. She looked away. Not realizing how silly she must seem. Not caring. He ran a hand through his hair and watched her. "I'm the one that should be apologizing, not you. I know you're more... and, well, I just. I'm sorry. Forgive me?"

"Of course." She nodded, then paused.

"I'm more what?" She tried to seem like she was scolding, ended up smiling. She shook her head dismissavely. He gave her a slight smile.

"Don't take this the wrong way.... inexperienced." She smirked a bit.

"True enough." She teased. "Is it that obvious?"

"Only sometimes." He smiled a little, and she smiled some as well.

"As long as you don't mind..." She laughed, quiet and short.

"I don't. Not at all.."

"Thanks." She pulled up a seat at the table, glancing at his pictures.

Of course he didn't mind that she was inexperienced. It would change soon enough, now wouldn't it? She let out a disgusted sigh, and curbed her urge to lash out. He didn't deserve her anger...

He looked away, thinking a moment. He takes a sip of his drink, and cleared his throat, keeping his eyes on the glass.

"Why were you scared...? I mean, um, what were you scared of?" His discomfort showed. "I wouldn't have tried to hurt you." True, true, but she didn't think it... She went a bit green, but then blushed.

"I know that. I just..." She didn't understand what he meant, in that case. It sure as hell had looked like he was going to, and did he not realize that it... She cut off her thought. "I don't know. I've never..." She trailed off and looked away, painfully embarassed.

He nodded some. "I know... there's nothing to be scared of though." Oh really? Heh. He's not the one who's gonna bleed, who's insides are going to be torn open. And he's not the one who could end up with some little bastard child inside him...

"I-" She sighed. "I know you're right, but... Consequences." She wasn't clear if he was talking about what she was. He nodded again and took another sip.

"Right."

"Yeah." She paused. "Look, I'm sorry. You know I am. I've... thought about it. Seriously. If we ever get to that point again..." Her face was stoic. "I won't be scared." She didn't want to scare him by being to bold, but... She didn't know he wouldn't make her do anything she wasn't ready for. He just sort of nodded a little and took another drink.

Such a good guy... She felt so very, very lucky.

She grimmaced. Lucky. Of course she was... She wasn't starving. She had a roof over her head, clothes on her back (she grimmaced again), hell, even family. She was healthy and young and had her whole life ahead of her. So long as she didn't screw it up. But of course she'd ruin it for herself. She had no will power. What if- third time's the charm, right? And what if she wasn't so lucky this time? Barely any schools would except a woman student, and there was no damned way they would except one that was knocked up. And what about that apprenticeship? Little or no hope of her getting it as is, let alone if... She grimmaced. Why the hell did she do it? What on earth had posessed her to... Her eyes went dark, and she grew very still. Like the calm before the storm.

He'd just gotten off work; he walked in the front door, taking off his jacket. From the sofa, she glanced up at the sound and smiled tentatively at him.

"Hey..." He smiled over at her.

"Long time no see... how are you?" He walked over and took a seat near her.

"Yeah..." She paused. "I'm alright, thanks. What about you?"

"Cold." He smiled a little and touched her face with his hand to show her how cold he was. Her eyes widened.

"Goodness, you sure are. Want some coffee or somethin'?" He shook his head.

"I'll just stay by the fire. That should warm me up." He moved and took a seat on the floor near the fireplace. "Want to sit with me? Get warm too?" She smiled slightly.

"Sure." She got up and stretched, and took a seat beside him. She wrapped her arms around her knees. "How was work today?"

"Better than it usually is. What about selling?"

"Not so bad. Headline was pretty good..." She shrugged slightly. "Getting by, as always." A small smile flitted across her face. He nodded a little and smiled.

"Ready for Christmas?"

"Hardly." She paled at the thought. "I'm thinking I won't be until maybe the 23rd?" She covered her nerves with a light laugh. "I'm terrible for procrastinating. How about you?"

"I am, yeah," he nodded. "I just want it to be here already. I still need to find Grace something. And you." She blushed a bit, in spite of herself.

"That's sweet of you..." She made a few quick mental notes. Film... He was always needing film. And should she get something for Grace? She didn't want it to look like she was trying to buy her trust, but... "And it'll be here soon. Just two more weeks..."

He shook his head a little. "Doesn't give me much time then." He glanced at her. "What would you like?" Oh, gosh, she hadn't ment it like that. She thought he'd wanted it to be soon!

"It really doesn't matter... I don't need anything..." She bit her lip, nervously.

"It matters. I'm sure there must be something.."

"I really don't know... I do know that I'd be thrilled with anything you gave me." She felt somewhat embarassed. So lucky to have him... He smiled and put his arm around her.

"I'll make sure I get you something nice.. maybe, a book or something like that." A wave of the fuzzies passed over her. She felt all warm and cared for.

"Thanks..." she said, in an unsure and sheepish tone. "That's so sweet of you..." She burrowed into him a little. "What about you? What would you like?"

"Nothing.. just to hopefully spend the day with you. We don't see enough of each other." He'll be getting nothing, indeed. Whoever the bastard was he worked for, he was worse than Scrooge. She'd bet her hairpins he'd have to work Christmas. But she nodded.

"Too true... I'd love to spend it with you." She paused. "I'm going to be home for Christmas dinner, of course, but..." She smiled. "Other than that I'll be at your command." Once the last words were out of her mouth, she realized how they must have sounded. His raised eyebrow proved that... He smiled.

"Good to know.." He nodded. "I figured you'd be with them. Going to help your mother cook?" He offered another smile.

"You know better than that." She shot him a teasing grin. "My cooking could be a secret weapon of the army." She shook her head. "Nah, I will be helping with the rest of it, though." Her eyes were drawn to the fire. The flames slowly ate away the wood, lapping tongues. He nodded a little.

"Any holiday traditions you got at home?" He watched her.

"Just your typical ones, I suppose... Lots of baking, singing... Our little gift exchange. I've got Jamie this year. And midnight mass... That's about it, though, I guess..."

"I didn't know you went to church."

"Not as often as I should. Not regularly anymore..." Her face darkened a bit. Traded God for money? "But Christmas I will, no matter what."

"Why no matter what?"

"It just feels like I have to, you know?" A blush spread across her cheeks. "Like I'm obliged to. And... It's nice. I don't know... I just feel like I'm..." Straying. Moving far, far away from God. She paused, then just shrugged. "I can't explain it." She gave a sheepish look.

"Maybe one of these days you can take me. Show me what it's like to be a God worshiping kinda person." He smiled teasingly.

"Oh, don't tempt me." She grinned at him a bit. "Cuz I would." She knew she'd never force anything, especially anything like that, onto anybody. Not like she could, anyways. Besides, like she really was? Hmh. She poked him. "What about you? Any Christmas traditions?"

"I love to tempt you though.." He smiled at her. He shook his head a little. "Not really. Other than being woken up at around four in the morning by Gracie wanting to get down to the presents."

She winked a bit at his first comment, then smiled. "That's a familiar feeling..." He laughed slightly.

"You probably had it worse with nine other kids and everything.."

"I dunno... Quantity isn't everything."She grinned slightly. "It's usually pretty crazy, though, yeah." The grin faded to a smile. "Fun..."

"I'd imagine so.. Never seemed too fun to me. Well, watching Grace so happy was but then always having to head out to work soon afterwards wasn't." She once again cursed his work. What a twisted world. It always frustrated her to hear him say things like that. She felt so bad. She nodded, getting slightly more serious.

"That's pretty dreadful... I hope this year's better for the two of you.."

"I already know it will be." He smiled a little then kisses her. What a smoothie. She kissesd him back a bit.

He brushed some of her hair back and smiled. "You're getting a little too good at that.." Oh, did she blush profusely!

"Learning from the best, I suppose..." She stammered her way through the sentance. He smirked a bit.

"You're kissing other guys?"

She glared, teasingly. "You know what I meant. But hey, if that's alright with you..." She trailed off, smirking herself.

"You better not.." He kissed her again, sucking the grin off her face. She kissed back, rather pleased. She glanced up for a moment.

"Why jeopardize such a good thing?" She smiled shyly, and kissed him again. He smiled as well and returned it, pulling her a little closer to him and wrapping his arms more tightly around her. She wrapped her arms around him and sort of just followed his lead.

He pulled back a little and started to kiss her neck. Her eyes widened. Sweetness morphed to something different, but just like the frog in the frying pan... Her eyes widened. He traced her fingers along his back a bit, conveniantly forgetting that they were in public. He kept kissing, moving up and down her neck. He smiled slightly.

"You have really soft skin..." She blushed and lowered her eyes. Such a charmer. And so sweetly said. No malice or slick smoothness.

"Thanks..." She bit her tongue, to refrain from saying something dorky about soap or something like that. He smirked slightly and went on kissing.

"Welcome.."

Her eyes sort of half closed; she felt quite, er, happy. She stroked his back, and rested her arms around his waist. He moved his kisses up until he was kissing her lips again. She kissed him back, involved-ly, running her hands up and down his sides. Perhaps she shouldn't have? What did it matter? He laid her back onto the floor, getting on top her and kisses her back deeply. Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh... Oh. She started to realize that she waslaying on the lobby floor (underneath a boy!) , but at that point, she could not care less. She returned his kiss, slipping in some tongue and all, surprising herself somewhat. He might have been surprised by it as well, but he didn't protest. Why should he have? She seemed to be easy and willing. He returned the kiss fully, working on unbuttoning her shirt. She didn't stop him (of course she didn't stop him...) and was still rather, um, focused?, but she pulled away enough to state-

"Sean..?" She motioned with her eyes to their surroundings. She might not have been the prude she seemed, but she stil had no desire to strip down in public. He glanced around a little when she did, and then looks away, sitting up.

"Sorry." She got her turn to smirk a bit.

"Don't be." She would have quite liked to continue their, um, communication, just not on the lobby floor. She stood up and offered to pull him up with her. He took her hand and stood, smiling a little. He rubbed his hair.

"We always end up like that out here." He gave a quick smirk. She smiled impishly.

"Wonder why..." He smiled.

"Because you're so kissable?" She blushed slightly.

"No more so than you." She raised an eyebrow and smiled. He smiled a little back, and kissed her. She returned it just a little, not quite knowing where to go from there. She was tempted to nod toward the guestroom door and let him do the deciding, but... She didn't want to seem too bold. So she waited. He placed a hand on the small of her back and rested his forehead on hers. She bit her lip a little.

"Think we could go somewhere more private?" She half smiled in what would later be considered an Elvis-like manner.

"I think that's a definate possibility..." Oh, she knew what would happen, then. Why had she said it? Why had she agreed? Why the hell was she playing along? Slut. She could try to hide it behind a quiet, shy demeanor, but... You know what they say about the quiet ones... He lead her into the guestroom and shut the door behind them.

"We don't have to do anything other than kiss if you don't want." Like hell. Sure, he acts civil now. What happens when... She pushed the negative thoughts out of her mind. He was being a gentleman, and she was being cynical.

Even though her gaurds were way up, she gave him a genuinely greatful smile.

"You really are a great guy, you know that?" And she ment it. At that point, anyways.

"I do now." He smiled slightly then kissed her again, sitting her down on the bed. She smiled a little herself, and cuddled into him a bit, feeling strangely contented. However it went, it would be okay. She felt it. He layed her back, resuming the position they had been in in the lobby. He again went for her shirt. She half closed her eyes, not entirely sure how to proceed. Huh. Soberness can do that to a person, apparently. Her mind was abuzz with thoughts that should not have been there, not in her current, um, position. He didn't seem to be thinking all that much... He took her shirt off and started to her neck. It was so cold... She stifled a gasp, and fought the reflex to cover herself. She wrapped her arms around him, and rubbed his sides a little. He glanced at her; he pulled back and kind of examined her.

"Not cold are you?" No shit, genius. It was December, the house was drafty, and her shirt was off. What would one assume? She had to smile, making her cynicism seem naive.

"N-no, I'm fine." He glanced down at her a second, and smiled.

"Good." He kissed her cheek. That small gesture wore away at her cynicism and... She just felt happy, and lucky. And how stunned at how much respect he had, inspite of it all. She stroked his hair for a moment, still seemingly placid.

He still wasn't sure how far she was comfortable to go, so he just kept testing the waters so to speak. He kissed her neck and shoulder. She let him. She wasn't sure how to respond yet, so she let him take the lead for the time being. Shouldn't be doing this... He rid his shirt rather quickly, then went back her to neck. Shouldn't be doing this. He moved a hand down her waist. Her eyes went big as saucers. She ran her hands over his sides and stomach. So perfec- No. Shouldn't be doing... He groaned slightly and pressed closer to her. Saucers grew to dinner plates. She let her eyes drift slowly closed. She rubbed his lower back, and kissed his neck. She sensed he was getting a little too into it. He pulled away.

"Think we should stop for now?" She should have stopped. He offered her an out. She should have stopped. He offered.

"Um..." She bit down on her lip. "If you... think it best." She knew it was best. Little whore. Tease. He smiled. If he only knew...

"We don't stop now, we might not be able to later." She nodded.

"Yeah." She smiled faintly, and sat up. He looked at her again, still smiling, then leaned over the bed and grabbed her shirt. He handed it back to her; she snatched it and rapidly put it on. She was so embarassed. She straightened herself out, trying not to let her negativity show. He watched her, still smiling some. Shame. She felt so ashamed. But apparently not ashamed enough. He pulled his own shirt on.

She stood, watching him a little.

"Would you like some coffee or something yet?" She offered a slight, sheepish smile. He ran a hand through his hair, and crawled over on the bed to her and grabbed her waist, kissing her shoulder.

"Sure..." He made it so hard. The coffee was the last thing on her mind. She breathed an inaudible contented sigh. Giving him a pat, she began to stand. He just smiled and kept hold of her. Seemed like he didn't want her to go... She gave him a crooked look, and smiled a bit. She didn't move any further yet.

"...Would you like milk or sugar?" Her voice wasn't exactly excited sounding.

He glanced at her. "Hm... sugar..." His fingers kissed her chest and stomach. A chill shot through her, but still she couldn't help but smirk a bit. The puns...

"Oh really?" She wrapped her arms around his neck, but rather cautiously.

"What? You like milk better?" He rubbed her hips.

"Sometimes." She smirked a little more. "Besides, it's better for you..."

"There's a lot of things that are better for me that I don't always get." He ran his hands up her shirt. Eep.

"Oh?" She still appeared rather coy, but was still wary as well. He glanced at her again.

"Not making you uncomfortable, am I?"

"Not at all." She was just amazed at what a 'gentleman' he was being.

"You're being quite perfect, actually." There was very little expression in her voice, it was merely a statement of fact. He cares... The thought grazed her mind. He smiled.

"I doubt that.." He kissed her collarbone. She smiled.

"Really." He took his hand and rubbed it a little. He smiled at her and kissed her lightly. Now whatever happened to that coffee?

She kissed back a bit and gave his hand a bit of a squeeze. Still kind of smiling, he tapped her backside lightly. She gave him a melodramatic, mock offended look, eyebrows raised. He chuckled a little.

"Sorry." She laughed lightly as well.

"Nah." She winked at him. "Now, about that coffee..."

"You'd rather make coffee?"

"Not especially..." She shot him a teasing grin. "But you know..."

He nodded. "Of course.. can't go too far." Was that sarcasm? He smiled. She smiles back, still a bit teasing.

"Of course."

He raised an eyebrow at her and all the teasingness.

"Fine." He fell back on the bed, shirt still open. "Go make coffee if you want."

She was tempted to do just that, just to be cruel.

"If you insist." Her eyes lingered on his bare front, tempted, but she forced herself to head for the kitchen; she smacked herself mentally on the head. He'd kept his eyes on her the whole time, smiling a bit when she walked out.

Meanwhile, she was gathering up the coffee and filling a pot of water. She fetched two cups and heated the stove. She sighed. What was she doing?! Her mind wandered to the image of him on the bed. She shook her head, angry with herself. Not sure which for, getting into the situation, or escaping it. She made sure the stove was on right, and set the pot to boil. Should she wait there? Mustn't go too far. She had the chance to avoid a potentially volitile situation. He'd given her an out. Screw it. She grimmaced at the pun. She shook her head. The pot could tend to itself. She walked back into the guestroom.

"You came back."

"Observant." She should have stayed in the kitchen. "I just thought..." She looked off, shrugging a bit. He looked at her, nodding to the bed for her to sit.

"Thought what?"

"I dunno... That'd it be safe to leave the pot to tend to itself for a minute or two. I'd rather your company to watching a pot boil." She smirked a little, and sat. He smiled slightly.

"And do you think that really was safe to leave it there." More of a statement than a question. He moved her hair to one side to kiss her shoulder.

"I won't forget about it..." Maybe she spoke too soon? He smiled at her and kissed her neck. Hoo boy.

"Are you sure you won't forget about it?" No, no, not sure at all. She bit her lip, pleased.

"Of course not. Wouldn't want to start any fires..."

"Right. Last thing we'd need." He played with her hair.

"Indeed." she gave a slight smile/smirk, trying to think of something to say; she wasn't exactly capable of deep thought at that point. She patted his leg. He kissed her neck again. Temperture rising.

"Shame I don't have my camera anymore..." Okay, that could be taken really, really wrong... She avoided that thought. Just her being warped, anyways.

"It really is... It was such a part of you.."

"And you were so photogenic.." So maybe it wasn't just her being warped. She shook her head, blushing a bit, in spite of herself.

"Hardly." He smiled a little.

"Would I lie to you?" She paused.

"No, I don't suppose you would..." She smiled a bit,too. "... Thanks."

"You're welcome.." He kissed her cheek. "You see, you have the perfect skin tone for any kind of lighting. And you always seem to have some dramatic look about you." She grinned.

"Oh my." She thought he was being terribly flattering and that she didn't deserve it. "See, you really do know your stuff. You've certainly got talent."

He smiled. "Maybe but it's never done me much good." He kissed her shoulder.

"One day it just might." Her eyes flit shut for a moment. He put his arms around her and slowly started to undo her shirt.

"Right, maybe I'll even win awards." That was definately sarcasm. "And my prize picture just might end up being of you." Ouch. But she didn't let her hurt show. Silly, anyways.

"I'd say that stranger things have happened, but... That one takes the cake." She had to laugh, but just for a second. He shook his head.

"You're too hard on yourself. You don't realize how pretty you are..."

Right... She sighed.

"Does any girl? I'm awkward and plain, and it just goes to show how much talent you have, in taking an awkward, plain person and making them pretty." He rubbed her stomach a little, kissing her neck.

"That isn't true."

"It is." She closed her eyes. "But that's okay." She smiled, and let herself melt. "I suppose if you believe I'm not so bad... Well, maybe you have a point. Maybe." She smiled crookedly. "You really are wonderful." He moved her shirt off her shoulders.

"Probably not as wonderful as you think." Of course not. She took in a slow breath.

"Probably not. But I'll still think it." True... He began working on her shoulder a little more.

"You really are wonderful, too, then."

"Fair enough..." She appeased, impishly. She'd never believe it. She just lets herself enjoy it. He ran his hands down her sides, kissing her neck lightly. She folded her hands in her lap. It wasn't supposed to feel so good. What made her let herself feel so... She bit her lip and tilted her head back a bit. He smiled a little.

"Enjoying yourself?"

"Oh, I am," she affirmed with a slight smile.

"Just tell me if you want to stop." He grabbed her and pulled her on the bed more, sitting her between his legs. Her eyes were wide.

"I don't want to stop. Not yet. Not..." Not at all. She melted in to him, rubbing his thighs. He face still held a smile, as he moved his hands over her. He kissed her shoulder and neck again.

"If you say so.."

"Mmh." Her eyes drifted shut once more. She placed her hands on top of his.

He smiled a little more, kissing her cheek, then moved her slightly so he could kiss her lips. She returned it gently, giving his hand a light squeeze, bringing her other hand behind his neck. He kept kissing her, moving his hand down her to her skirt. Shouldn't be doing this. She was unsure as to what his plan was, and at that point, didn't care. All her sense was gone, her senses overtaking them. She didn't stop him, but didn't coax him, either. But she kissed him a little bit deeper. (He didn't plan to do anything she wasn't ready for.) He rubbed her stomach with his other hand, trying to control himself.

She moved so that she was 'facing' him fully, and wrapped her arms around him. He kissed her, if not a bit aggressively, and layed back, pulling her down on top of him and holding her close to him. She kissed him back with almost the same force. She moved her lips down his neck. He bit his lip and shut his eyes, rubbing her back encouragingly. She began to unbutton his shirt, and glanced into his eyes for a second. She didn't know what she saw in them, if anything.

She straddled him, pushing his shirt to the sides, exposing his chest and torso. She damn well knew she shouldn't be doing it. But... He looked at her and smiled, seemingly a bit surprised by her actions. He placed his hands on her hips and rubs them. She smiled, rubbing his stomach. She had to say it, even though she knew it was stupid.

"You have a marvelous body." She said, slowly. She leaned down to kiss his chest, briefly. He smiled at her.

"Thanks..." He smirked slightly. "You don't look so bad yourself." She looked up and gave him a wink. She rubbed his stomach slowly.

"Thank you..." He sort of raised his hips slightly, and smiled.

"You're making it hard for me not to want to bring this relationship to the next step right now..." That's not how it was supposed to work... But she wasn't thinking. She bit her lip.

"I..." Yes, no? She knew she shouldn't... She just kissed him. He kissed her back, rubbing her back some and playing with her hair. She deepened the kiss a little, amazingly torn, but not wanting to let him go. He rolled around so he was on top and kissed her back. Placing a hand on his back, she traced her fingers all around, and stoked his hair gently. She wondered what was the right thing to do; a debate was being held in her head, and neither side was winning. She tried to simply stop thinking and... Be.

He moaned slightly and broke the kiss, moving to work on her neck. She bit her lip, hard, closing her eyes. Her hands ran underneath his shirt as if of their own will, fingers tracing patterns on his warm skin. No more thinking. She would rely on merely instinct, be it for survival, or otherwise. He looked at her and smiled, kissing her lightly and then rested his forehead against hers, catching his breath a little. She smiled, and subtly caught her breath as well. She felt so lucky. He was wonderful, and at least at that moment, he was hers. He kissed her again a little.

"You wear me out, Gert..." He offered a small smile.

"My appologies." She nearly smirked. "You're tired enough as is with out me making it any worse." She was only half teasing, but she smiled at him, nonetheless.

"Gotta make money, don't I?"

She let out a small sigh. "Yeah." She knew how he felt, maybe not to that degree, but... That was one thing they had in common. Work was life. She moved her gaze off to the side, with an appologetic frown. He looked at her.

"It's all right..." He kissed her cheek. She blinked slowly, and gave his hand a quick squeeze.

"Hey..." He nuzzled her neck some. "You okay?"

"Yeah." She gave a slight smile.

"Sorry. Perfectly alright." Being with him made everything alright.

He smiled a little. "Don't apologize," he said into her mouth. She held him, kissing back a little. Despite the fact that she was feeling a little, uh, crushed, she was amazingly contented. He brushed the back of his hand against her cheek lightly, not deepening the kiss at all, just keeping it very simple and soft. She closed her eyes, feeing so lucky. He moved his hand down and rubbed her thigh a little. (He was trying not to go too far, really; he respected her.) She pecked him on the nose and placed her hand on top of his. She sensed the respect, somewhat, anyways. Her other hand made its way behind his neck. He smiled at her, kissing her again as he began to push her skirt up. She trusted him. Why the hell did she trust him? But then, why shouldn't she? She kissed him back, not feeling the need to stop him. She rubbed his neck a little, softly.

He smiled inwardly and pushed it up more. He rubbed her leg and flicked his tongue against her lips. He gave a quick smirk. She shivered, then blushed, scrunching her nose at him. She gave him an almost "I dare you" look. He grinned at her and chuckled very slightly. This time he pulled her skirt down, but slowly, in case she wanted to stop him. Another out. She should have stopped him. Why didn't she stop him? She did not, not yet. She bit her lip, tipping her head back a bit. He removed her skirt, then looked her over in an almost animalistic manner. He grinned a little.

"Nice." (Heh. She knew she had damn nice legs...) She was mortified, but she shook her head at him, teasingly.

"And what about you, hm?" If one was to be unclothed, it made it far less humiliating if one's company was alao not fully dressed. Equal playing field, and whatnot. He smiled slightly, running a hand over her lightly. Shivers shot through her.

"You wanna see?" She raised an eyebrow, smiling a bit.

"Only fair..." True enough.

She unbuttoned his shirt; he smiled a bit, and finished taking it off. He sat up some, and started to take off his pants. She couldn't help but watch, although somewhat embarassed. She was terribly flushed. He took 'em off, then looked at her, eyebrow raised slightly.

She smiled, almost smirked, as she looked him over. There we go. Leveled off the playing field. Although she realized it probably didn't bother him in the least to be disrobed, she was still pleased by the fact it was, well, mutual.

"Nice indeed." She lounged back a little, luxuriously.

"Thanks.." He went back down to her and kissed her. She assumed her usual stance, wrapping her arms around his neck, and kissed him back. She felt rather... odd. Surreal, or something. This shouldn't have been happening. Not to her. She wasn't suited to it. She didn't deserve it. She wasn't pretty enough, or sweet enough, or... Well, she must have just been an easy la- She slid her hands down and explored him a little. Such a perfect body... He kissed her more, rubbing her leg, seemingly enjoying her exploring. She took in a sharp breath. Mh. She kisse him deeply for a short moment, continuing to explore him, rubbing his stomach, then his hips... So surreal. Never in her life had she even imagined... He bit his lip and closed his eyes, slowly starting working on moving her legs apart more.

She shivered and kissed him harder just for an instant, both damn scared and, well, a little more into it than she rightly ought to have been. He suddenly stopped, looking at her.

"We should stop...." The abruptnes of his statement (and his timing) thoroughly confused her. She wondered what was going through his head. Must be respect..? She nodded faintly, having no desire whatsoever to stop (although she should have!), but didn't want to seem even more loose than she must have looked already. (He didn't want her to regret anything. Isn't that the way?) He kissed her lightly. She closed her eyes for a brief second. He rested his forehead down on hers and sighed. The only thing betraying her emotions was her bitten lip. He pulled the covers around them and kissed down her body a little. "Do you want to?" Stop?

"I don't know. I..." She could still feel where his lips had just been on her body. A wee bit distracting. "I don't want to stop." and she really didn't. "This is the closest I've been to happy in a long, long time." And for some twisted reason, it was. "It doesn't matter if we stop, if we go on..." Oh, it did, but she wasn't exactly thinking ahead. "I'm happy just being with you." Despite various factors, that was true, too. "But... Right now..." She let her eyes float shut. She breathlessly finished barring her soul. "I don't want to stop..." He looked up at her and smiled.

"Me either." He moved back up and almost tenderly kissed her, then slowly took her virginity.

"He fucked me." She whispered hoarsely. "He fucked me then he went to work." There was a feral look about her. "Not even giving me the illusion of it having meant something. No falling asleep, no pillow talk. Just in, out and that's the end of it. Damn." She traced her face in the mirror. "And I didn't learn a thing from it." She laughed a bit, rather frighteningly. "I let him do it again. On the lobby chesterfield, in, out, gone. No fucking shame. Mama was right. I'm useless and I've got no damned future. So self respect. The only thing I had to my name is gone because I'm stupid and..." She didn't even know if she could say 'stupid and in love'. All sorts of horrid thoughts ran though her mind, the pressure building behind her eyes. Her head felt like it was a hurricane. 18 years of self-possession, of being contained, of calm collected pretense. It all forced its way to the surface. "Fool me once-" she paused, her left hand covering her face in the mirror "shame on you." She laughed. "Fool me twice, shame-" she gritted her teeth "on-" her eyes were glazed and empty "me."

She dropped her left, and swung with her right. Her fist made painful contact with the silvered glass, and it splintered all around her. The sound was sickening. Little slivers of glass found themselves imbedded in her fist, blood trickling. She was surrounded my shards and little droplets of blood. Her laughter turned to morbid, quiet tears.

Seven years bad luck.

And how was she going to pay for that?