you don't remember me but i remember you
i lie awake and try so hard not to think of you
but who can decide what they dream?
and dream i do...

i believe in you
i'll give up everything just to find you
i have to be with you to live to breathe
you're taking over me

have you forgotten all i know
and all we had?
you saw me mourning my love for you
and touched my hand
i knew you loved me then

i believe in you
i'll give up everything just to find you
i have to be with you to live to breathe
you're taking over me

i look in the mirror and see your face
if i look deep enough
so many things inside that are just like you are taking over

Opening his eyes, Tracker realized that he couldn’t see. As he started to panic, he heard Trust’s soothing voice tell him to trust her, and to stand up. Nodding, he slowly stood up, and let her lead him out of the house and down the street. Their jaunt down the street ended as she put his hands on a cold metal gate and told him that he had to climb it before he could take the blindfold off. He carefully climbed the gate and jumped to the other side, taking off his blindfold when she joined him. She had a small smirk on her face as he looked over at her. "We just broke into the zoo."

They ambled through the zoo, stopping to look at the sleeping animals and spend a few moments just standing there in each other’s arms. The coldness of the day caused them to constantly be holding onto each other, but it was a hindrance to neither of them. When they were done at the zoo they went back to the house and fell asleep in the guestroom, not wanting to leave each other.

Opening his eyes again he was forced to focus on her grave, and frowned, a few more tears finding their way onto his face. He bit his lip, pushing a piece of his hair out of his eyes. His hand shaking, he reached over and lightly traced her name on the headstone with his index finger. February 3rd, date of death, he let out a shaky sigh as he let his finger run over that. Oh, how he so vividly remembered that night. He had been up in the bunkroom, writing in his journal, then suddenly . . .

"HELP!" Empire yelled from the lobby. Tracker ran out of the bunkroom, and promptly ran down the stairs with the exclamation of an expletive.

"I’m fine, really." Trust murmured, somewhat limp in Empire’s arms.

"No you aren’t." Tracker said firmly, trying to seem calm when he was really worried on the inside. How could this have happened? How could he have let this happen to the girl he loved? The voices were once again nagging him, about how things were his fault. He knelt beside the couch as Empire laid her down on it. Gently taking her hand in his , he tried to consol her. "It’ll be okay."

When Charity re-entered the lobby with clothes for her, he took them from her and stood up. "Can you get something to clean her cuts with?" he asked semi-frantically, looking at her. "And bandages and shit?" She nodded and left the room for a moment before coming back and handing him everything. He kissed Trust lightly , trying to smile. "You’re gonna be okay, alright?"

"Not this time, Tracker." she said softly as he started to clean her cuts and bandage her up. At his inquiry of who had done this to her, she gasped a little, "Brennan."

"Okay . . .sh, don’t try to talk, alright?" He said with a frown, continuing with what he had been doing. She began to tremble, and as he looked up at her she closed her eyes. He began to panic when her eyes went closed. "Trust?" She stopped shaking, and her head fell to the side. "God . . ."

Tears started to trail their way down his face as he took her hand again, not believing it. Empire started to shake her, trying to wake her up, but Tracker just sat there crying, not wanting to let go. Charity walked over and took his hand, pulling it away from Trust. He pulled his hand away from her and didn’t move, still in a state of shock.

Everyone was silently frozen in place. Until the police came. When a policeman went over and picked up Trust’s body, Tracker and Empire sprung into action, both of them jumping up and going over, blocking the doorway. Tracker took hold of her hand again, and Empire clung to her arm. They both voiced their views on the policeman taking her away, and their views were quite firm.

"Come on, Empire. Let them take her. You too Tracker. . ." Charity said as she came over and once again tried to pull Tracker away, but he shook her off, not letting go of Trust’s hand. Two policemen came over and they each tried pulling the boys away.

"I’m not leaving her!" Empire yelled, fiercely fighting the policeman restraining him. "Leave me alone, dammit!" Tracker yelled, fighting against the policeman who was pulling him away. Their fighting was in vain, for while the policemen held them back, another policeman took Trust away. Empire fell to the ground when the policeman released him, and Tracker stood there for a minute before running up to the bunkroom, slamming the door quite hard behind him. He collapsed on his bunk, sobs racking his body.

"I miss you, Trust." Tracker whispered, so softly that the wind carried it away before he even heard himself say it. He was starting to scare himself. Quite often he had been seeing her there with him, and it had frightened those around him when he did. One particular instance stood out in his mind . . .

"Tracker?" Jumper asked, stepping into the kitchen through the back door and staying against the wall. "What–what are you doing?"

"Hm?" Tracker asked, looking over at her. That was when the confusion started.

"Who are you talking to, Tracker?" Trust asked from where she was sitting on his lap.

"Jumper."

"Jumper?" Trust asked, frowning. She looked to where he was looking, then back at him. "There isn’t anyone there, Tracker. It’s just you and me forever and ever."

"Tracker . . ." Jumper said softly, drawing his attention back to her. "Who were you talking to? Who–who were you kissing?"

"Trust." Jumper’s heart sank and she walked over to him, kneeling beside him and taking his hand in hers.

"Tracker, Trust is gone. You know that." she said, squeezing his hand. "She may be alive in your heart, but Track, she’s gone."

"No, she’s not gone. She’s here," Tracker said, tears springing to his eyes. More things began to add to his confusion.

"That’s right, I’m right here." Trust said with a nod, leaning her head against his. She looked up at him and frowned, wiping his tears away. "Tracker, don’t cry, I’m not leaving you."

"No Tracker, no she’s not. She’s not there." Jumper spoke up.

"Yes she is." he said, his frown deepening as Trust played with his hair.

"No she’s not. She–" Jumper paused, thinking about it for a moment before speaking again. "And . . . and if she is, you have to tell her to go, so you can go on living your life."

"But I don’t want her to go, I want her to stay." he said quietly.

"I -am- staying, Tracker." Trust said with a frown.

"I’m not saying to forget about her, that wouldn’t be possible. But you can’t live like this." She paused, and placed his hand on his chest where his heart is. "She’s right here."

"Why do you want me to tell her to go, Jump?"

"Tracker, Jump’s not here." Trust said firmly, wrapping her arms around him tighter. "It’s just you and me Tracker. Just us."

"Cause what you see right now isn’t real, and it’s not healthy." Jumper continued. "Cause what you see isn’t the real Trust, and will never be the real Trust. The real Trust can only be preserved in memories."

"Tracker talk to me . . . you're not talking to me and it makes me sad, Tracker. Why won't you talk?" Trust prodded after a long pause of silence.

"I don’t know if you’re real." he said quietly. Jumper quietly slipped out the door back outside.

"Of course I’m real." she said with a frown, running her finger down his cheek. "See?"

"But you said that Jumper wasn’t there."

"Jump -isn’t- there."

"She was."

"No, Tracker." Trust said with a frown. He pushed his hair out of his face with a sigh.

"She was, though."

"-I’m- here Tracker. Me and you forever." She frowned as he lightly touched his hand to her cheek. She kissed him lightly, then pulled away with a sigh. "You see? I’m real."

"Then why didn’t you see Jump?"

"Because she isn’t there."

"She was, though."

"No, Tracker. You're lying to me. I don't like lying. It's just you and me Tracker. Just you and me." Trust said, frowning. Tracker was battling with himself, but was truly starting to believe her. Jumper slipped back into the kitchen.

"Track?" she asked quietly. Tracker looked over at her, and Trust frowned. "What is, um, Trust, telling you?"

"That you’re not here, that it’s just us." he said softly. Trust started to object to Jumper being there again, but then she started speaking again.

"Well then use what she’s saying to figure it out. She’s saying it's just you two, right, no other? Never. Nowhere. I’m saying it's not her but that everyone else is existent. Siren, Morning, Anthony. Are they all not there too, the ones who you know are alive." Jumper said, walking over to him. He ran a his hand through his hair, and didn’t respond. "Track?"

"What?" he asked, looking over at her sadly.

"Tracker, there’s no one there." Trust interjected.

"Don’t give me that face."

"What face?" he asked.

"Tracker, stop it." Trust said with a frown.

"That face. Don’t look at me like that, I’m just telling you the truth." Jumper said.

"How do I know that?" he questioned softly.

"Stop!" Trust said sharply.

"What?" he asked, looking over at her.

"Stop talking to no one!"

"I know you’re going to miss her, but she’s never gonna . . ." Jumper paused, grabbing his face and turning it away from ‘Trust’. "Track, she’s never going to be here again. She’s not there, she’s not going to be there."

Tracker slowly lifted his hand, moving it up and pushing her hand away from his face. He looked over to Trust, who was slowly beginning to fade. A pained look took over his face, and he whispered, "No." He reached over and lightly touched her face, she looked so sad. It was too late, for she had faded away to nothing. Closing his eyes for a few moments, he momentarily stopped the tears that were waiting to escape. When he opened his eyes again, a few tears slipped out. He slowly stood up and silently walked up to the bunkroom, to lay there awake all night.

"I love you," Tracker murmured, for once not brushing away his hair as it fell into his eyes. He couldn’t bear to think that he would never see the girl he loved again, it pained his heart every time he thought of it. Trevor, get a hold of yourself, you need to move on, he commanded himself. Inside he knew he’d never truly move on, but he had to try. For the sake of his sanity, he had to try. He drew in a shaky breath and stood up, glancing at the headstone once more. It’s too late, you’ll never see her again so you may as well just move on, a voice in his head nagged him. He knew that he’d never see her again, but he didn’t want to move on. He wanted to stay frozen back in time, when they had been together.

Slowly, he began walking away. A pang of guilt tugged at his heart, almost a feeling like he was abandoning her. He turned to face her grave and drew in a shaky breath, gazing at the rose as the harsh wind blew it back against the headstone. Let her go, he heard a voice say, almost as though it was the wind speaking to him. With a small nod, as if responding to the voice, he turned and slowly made his way out of the cemetery. He pulled his coat tighter around himself as he silently walked back to the house, not wanting to think about anything. All he wanted was her, but he couldn’t have her. And he knew it.