Tiptoe sat in the chair beside the window in the lobby. She looked back and forth between the world outside the window and the world inside the window, the world of the lodging house. Smudge's so-called "self-confidence" drowned in the background. She laughed quietly to herself as she played with the end of her hair, twirling it around her finger and then letting it go. She glanced away from the window to listen to them talk. She smiled as she watched them.

A while later, Tiptoe stood up. "I'm going out for a bit. I'll be back later." she smiled and left. She stepped out onto the front step and looked both ways, debating which way to go. Left or right? She was not positive herself. She decided tonight she would go right and tomorrow, left.

As she walked quietly and slowly down 3rd Avenue, she stared at the ground. She kicked a tiny rock along the way until it fell off the sidewalk and down a sewer drain. She sighed and stuck her hands in her pockets as she kept walking. She looked at the signs of the shops around her. They were dark, have been closed for a while. She watched the different window displays, wondering what all she would buy if she was rich. She smiled to herself and shook her head. As she passed 98th Street, she stopped. She looked around at where she was at. Swallowing quietly, she turned around and found herself walking down 98th Street. She knew where it was leading her. She wanted to stop, but her feet just kept walking. Maybe it was just the curiosity that was in her at the time. After walking for a few blocks, followed the sidewalk, turning onto Morine Avenue. She stopped at the entrance of Oliver Street. She shook her head and stood against the wall, looking up at the sky, before sliding down the edge of it. She wrapped her arms around herself as she pulled her knees to her chest. She leaned her chin on the top of her knees.

"Tim, come on! We're going to be late and ma will yell at us!"

Tiptoe glanced towards an alley way where the voice came from. She sighed and pushed herself up and looked around. She wandered if she should go back to the lodging house, or keep heading down Oliver Street. She glanced back down Morine Avenue and then down Oliver Street. Her curiosity got the best of her, so she continued on her way. She hurried past the alleyway, past the two boys. She slowed her walk down as she approached a large brick building near the end of the street. She sighed as she looked up at it. She bit her lip as she pushed the door open and walked in. She slowly made her way up the stairs, grasping the handrail. She followed the stairs up for three floors, where she stopped. She looked around her once again before walking down the hallway. She heard voices coming from each room. She started getting more nervous as she arrived to room 305. She looked at the door for a moment, deciding on what she should do. She swallowed and leaned her head against the door, listening. She heard a female and male talking in hushed whispers. She heard paper rustling and guessed one of them was reading the paper. She sighed and turned away, leaning on the wall.

"Get a grip Kalandra," she whispered to herself. "Of course other people live there. They would not just leave the apartment empty." she shook her head and headed back to the stairs and out of the building. She wasn't sure if she wanted to go home quite yet though. She sat in the front of an alleyway, next to the building. She played with some dirt as she pulled her knees to her chest. She missed her family, or what family she had had. Even after all these years, she still hoped her mother had just made a mistake. She knew it was silly and quite stupid of her, but she could not help it. Deep down inside, she knew her mother had left her and was never coming back for her. Deep down she knew that her life right now, was the life she would have.

An hour later she returned to the lodging house, quietly walking up the stairs so she would not wake anyone. She quickly and silently got into bed, hoping to get some sleep, but she couldn't. Someone was living in her old apartment. She knew they would, but she still hoped it would be open for her to go see. Hoping that her mother would be there, waiting for her. But she wasn't. Kalandra knew that she wouldn't be there. She probably wasn't even in Brooklyn, less likely even in New York. She rolled over on her side and pulled the covers over her head and fell asleep.

"Mama?"

"Go away."

"Mama, what's wrong?"

"I left because of you. Stay away."

"But, mama. It's me."

"Yes, I know. It's you."

Tiptoe opened her eyes, but didn't move. It wasn't real. That never had happened, ever. She wondered why she had dreamed of that, out of all things. She sighed and closed her eyes, hoping morning would come soon.

Morning seemed to take a million years to come. Tiptoe found herself waking up nearly every hour. She rolled out of bed as she saw the sun peeked through the window. As she stood in the washroom, washing her face, the dream from last night came back to her. She sighed. She had had the dream replay over and over all night. She rubbed her face slightly and went to sit on her bunk, putting her shoes on before leaving to sell the papers for the day.

As she entered the lodging house later that evening, she saw Charity, Smudge and Leapfrog talking in the lobby. She wasn't one to intrude on conversations, so she went to the kitchen quietly. She got herself a glass and filled it with water. She watched the water fill the glass and smiled slightly as she sipped it. She sat down at the table by herself, thinking. She was too tired to go for another walk, so went straight to bed, even though it was early.

She glanced at a clock in the window. Eleven in the morning. She sighed quietly to herself.

"A paper."

Tiptoe glanced over at the man who had asked for a paper. He had black hair with bright golden eyes. He was taller than her, but not my much. She smiled at him. "Yes?"

"A paper," he told her, flashing a smile.

"Oh, yes, sorry." Tiptoe smiled and handed him paper after he handed her a nickel.

"Keep the change," he told her and smiled. "Do you have a name?"

"Tip…" she thought a moment. "Kalandra."

The man took her hand and kissed it. "Well, Kalandra, I wish I could stay and chat longer, but I must get going. Meet you here tomorrow?"

Tiptoe could not find the words to answer, so she merely nodded.

The man flashed the smile again before heading off. A red tint quickly rose to Tiptoe's face as she watched him. She smiled and sold the rest of her papers before heading back to the lodging house.

Tiptoe walked into the bunk, still blushing slightly from her encounter with the man. She noticed Charity laying on her bunk and smiled. "Good evening Charity," she greeted her, walking over to her own bunk.

Charity smiled some. "Hey. Good day?"

"I guess you could say that, yes. Have you had a good day?"

Charity shrugged. "Had better, had worse. What made yours so good?" she asked her with a smile.

Tiptoe bit her lip slightly and smiled. "Oh, it's silly really…" She glanced at Jumper as she walked in.

"Tell me." Charity looked at her

A smile crept on her face. "I sold a paper to a guy today. He was really nice," she told her, blushing a bit, smiling. "I didn't catch his name though."

The blonde haired girl grinned. "You think you'll see him again tomorrow?"

"Oh I don't know," Tiptoe grinned slightly. "I hope."

Charity let out a light laugh. "I bet you will. So did you talk to him at all?"

Tiptoe smiled a bit. "Not really. He had to get going, but he said he'd be in the same place tomorrow."

Jumper sat up on her bunk. "Describe."

A grin spread on the young girl's face. "Oh, he was tall, had these golden eyes and black hair." She smiled and looked at her hands. "Do you girls think it's silly?

"What's silly about it?" Charity asked her.

"That I don't even know his name and look at me…talking about him like this…" she smiled and shook her head.

"So, haven't you ever head of love at first sight?" Jumper asked her.

"Love at first sight?" Charity looked at Jumper. "There ain't such a thing."

Tiptoe smiled at Jumper before turning her eyes to Charity. "You don't think so?"

Jumper laughed at herself. "But wouldn't it be nice if there was something like that?"

Charity shook her head. "I think it takes time for you to fall in love. Not something that happens the first second you see them," she shrugged. "I don't know…"

Tiptoe smiled and nodded. "Well I don't think I have to worry about that."

"How old is he do you think?" Charity asked her.

Tiptoe smiled and thought a moment. "Around eighteen maybe? He might be seventeen. Or nineteen…"

"Older huh?" Charity grinned. "Those are always fun."

"Older can be fun. I speak with much experience." Jumper agreed

Tiptoe looked at them and smiled. "How are they more fun?"

"Much more experienced." Charity smiled.

The young girl blushed. "Oh, well, I don't know…" she smiled slightly.

"He seemed nice though? It's always better when they're nice." Charity pointed out.

"He seemed nice, yes. Very nice. Polite and everything.

"Polite?" Charity questioned as she smiled. "That's a rare quality in men."

"I guess it is.." she smiled and nodded.

Jumper looked at her. "How exactly was this guy polite? Was he the first ever to not try anything on you?" Jumper laughed at her joke.

Tiptoe looked over at Jumper. "Well…I don't know. He just was very polite and nice to me," she smiled a bit. She wasn't sure since she never really had a guy ever try anything on her.

"Hey, maybe tomorrow you'll actually learn his name." Charity smiled.

"I will. I'll ask him.

"Good."

"Yeah, and then maybe you'll live happily ever after." Jumper mocked Tiptoe and Charity.

Charity smiled. "You never know."

Tiptoe looked between the two girls and smiled a bit. "We've just met…"

"On top of that, you don't even know his name." Charity told her.

"Yeah, but today you gotta take what you get. Newsgirls don't exactly get the pick of the litter. So if he's nice, I think you got yourself a winner there." Jumper pointed out.

Tiptoe smiled a bit at her comment. "I don't know," she blushed again.

Charity smiled a bit. "I don't know…I got Smudge and he's certainly a catch."

"True…" Tiptoe trailed off, thinking. "It's probably nothing really. He probably has better things to do…"

"Better things then talking to you?" Charity smiled at her. "I doubt it."

She smiled and bit her lip lightly. "I just hope it's not all an act…"

"Hopefully he wouldn't do that." Charity smiled a little. "So if things go well with this guy tomorrow will we still be expecting you back here tomorrow night? Or you gonna be with him?" she asked, smiling slightly.

A blush rose to her face. "I'll be here tomorrow."

"Just checking."

Tiptoe looked at her. "I don't know if I could do that so soon…" she blushed at the thought.

"Didn't think so. Probably better to wait anyway."

"Yeah…" she smiled slightly.

"Guys though, they always seem to expect it." Charity said, turning on her back.

Tiptoe watched her as she said this. "Oh…then should I? If he wants to?"

"Don't unless you want to as well."

She nodded a bit. "Oh…they just expect it though?" She blushed. "Goodness, I'm sorry. These stupid questions…"

"Don't worry about it." Charity smiled.

The next day, Tiptoe found herself at the same place. She sold a few papers, but was still keeping her eyes open for the man. She had not thought of her family at all the night before and it made her happy. She had gotten some sleep without waking up in the middle of the night.

"Kalandra, correct?"

Tiptoe turned around to find the same guy from yesterday smiling at her. She smiled and nodded. "Yes. I'm afraid I don't know your name."

"Brendan Vittelo," he smiled. "I was hoping I could take you to lunch?"

"Oh, I should really finish selling these.." she looked down at her papers, blushing.

"It's just lunch." Brendan smiled at her.

Tiptoe looked up at him. She smiled and nodded. "All right then." She gathered her papers underneath her arm and followed him.

Brendan led her to a small restaurant a few blacks down on the corner. He opened the door for her and pulled out her seat. Tiptoe could not stop blushing through out the meal. Brendan was so polite to her. He made her laugh. She wanted to see him more often.

As she walked home that night, she thought of Brendan. She thought of lunch. A smile appeared on her face. This had been one of the best nights ever.

She continued to see Brendan for a few weeks. He had even agreed to come pick her up, so she could introduce him to some people at the lodging house. They all told her that they had liked him, which she was happy about. She was happy with Brendan, he made her happy. He made her laugh as well. She felt comfortable around him.

Kalandra sat quietly at the dining table in Brendan's street level apartment. He had invited her to dinner and she was quick to agree to accept. She watched as he brushed a piece of his hair away from his forehead. It made her smile. Everything about him made her smile, now that she thought about it. The way she would catch him looking at her. The way he would read the newspaper. So serious and in deep thought. She had wondered many times how he could not have had someone already. And why he had chosen her. She was nothing special. She was a shy, quiet girl. Her body was not her best feature. She wasn't as curvy as she had hoped she would be. He hair was plain and brown, much like her eyes. What did he see in her?

"Kalandra!"

Tiptoe jumped slightly at Brendan's voice and his arm on her wrist, which pulled her out of her thoughts. "Hmm?" she looked over at him.

"You know how I do not like to repeat myself. Please try to keep from day dreaming. I do not want to say it more than once."

"Oh, right. I'm so sorry Brendan," she told him, biting the inside of her cheek lightly. She pulled on her wrist a moment before he let her go. "What did you say?"

"I asked you if you could manage to get home on your own. I do not want to go back out tonight."

She nodded. "Of course Brendan," she smiled at him. "I will see you tomorrow?"

"We will see. I suppose we can meet tomorrow." Brendan nodded, glancing up from his paper slightly.

She looked at him a moment and nodded. She smiled and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "All right. Tomorrow. Good night Brendan," she told him and headed out of his apartment and back home.

"You think I should have stayed then? I wasn't sure if I should…" Tiptoe bit her lip as she looked at Gecko. She had ran into him two weeks later after walking home from Brendan's.

Gecko shrugged slightly. "I don't know. How much did he smile? Was it like this," he asked her as he gave her a small smile that sort of said `This is enjoyable.' "Or was it like this?" he gave her a romantic, charmed, pleasured smile. It made her faintly blush.

She looked at him a moment and then looked down, smiling. "The second." She bit her lip a little. "He wanted me to stay, but I told him I should head home. I think he's upset with me over that…" she admitted. It was true. She could tell that he was upset with her when she told him she should go. He wanted her to stay that night with him and Tiptoe knew what that actually meant. She wasn't ready and she had told him that before. He accepted that before, but she wasn't sure now if he did.

"If he gives you the most romantic smile you think he can give, and you plan to retain your virginity, run away."

She blushed slightly when he mentioned her virginity. She looked down at the street. "But I hate for him to be upset with me." She did. Brendan had told her constantly that he cared for her. She didn't want him to stop caring for her because she would stay over with him.

"Your choice. But that's what that smile means. Just for your information." Gecko told her, shrugging.

Tiptoe smiled and nodded, thanking him. This was new to her. The relationship things. She needed all the help she could get, even if she did feel silly asking.

Tiptoe quietly walked downstairs after not being able to sleep. She wasn't sure why, but she could not sleep at all.

"He gave you the smile. I was watching. I saw the smile!"

She jumped a bit, not expecting anyone to be there. She looked at Gecko who had taken a seat on the steps. "Gecko.." she smiled and sat down on the stairs with him. "The smile…? When, then did you see?" she asked him, turning a light shade of red.

"God…when was it? You were walking in the park…"

She smiled and played with her hand in her lap. "You should have come to say hi."

Gecko shrugged. "You looked like you were having a good time. Although I should have intervened before the smile became…anything."

Tiptoe blushed at the thought we was implying. "Oh, I don't think you would have to worry about that.." She smiled some.

"Oh, please. He have you the smile."

"But that doesn't mean anything." Tiptoe glanced at him a moment.

"Sure…"

"But, I wouldn't." she told him, looking at her hands.

"No. You don't think you would. People can be influencing."

She looked at him a moment. What did he mean by that? "But, see, he knows I wouldn't do that, I think. And," she paused a moment and looked down at her hands in her lap a moment. "wouldn't he remember that?"

"Depends on how much he wants it.."

"Oh…I trust him though."

"Yeah, I see that. But…if he's chauvinistic."

Tiptoe shook her head. He was wrong. "No, I can trust him. He's very nice and all…"

"To you."

"What do you mean?" she asked, looking at him. Brendan had been nice to everyone would he had come to the lodging house that one day. He was very nice to her. Why would Gecko say a thing like that? It confused her greatly.

"Nothing."

"Nothing? No…tell me. You don't think he's nice?"

"I didn't say that."

"Why did you say that he was only nice to me?"

"Because, he's nice to you. How much do you know about him?"

"Well, a lot of things." she thought for a moment. "He's lived here most of his life. He has a younger sister too."

"But do you know how he treats other people? Not sayin' I do, I'm just wonderin'. Because if he wants that he's going to be nice to you.

He couldn't be right. Brendan wouldn't do that. She trusted him. "Usually when I see him, it's just me and him. I can't picture him being mean to anyone."

Gecko nodded slightly

Tiptoe shook her head. Here he was trying to be nice to her and she was only telling him that he was wrong. "I'm sorry.."

"For what?"

"I..I don't know." she smiled slightly. "Bothering you."

"You're not." Gecko told her.

"I haven't given you any reason to think badly of him, have I?"

"No. You haven't at all." Gecko told her, watching her nod a little. He smiled at her, thinking. "I'm gonna take a walk," he told her. He walked out, knowing this is how Tiptoe met Brendan. He was hoping to come across him. He didn't trust Brendan and wanted to know more about him.

Gecko saw Brendan walking down the street and he quickly started following him, being very wary and slipping back if needed. He watched him enter a building. After looking around a moment, he realized it was Brendan's home. He stood by the door listening.

"I thought you would have been home earlier. I had dinner ready and everything." he heard a muffled female voice. He remembered Tiptoe saying he had a sister and figured it might be his sister.

"I clearly told you I would be home late. If you were listening, you would have heard," Gecko heard Brendan speak up in a mean tone.

"I was listening Brendan. You said somewhere around six or seven."

"I said I wasn't sure. Listen to me."

"Sorry. Do you want me to make you something for dinner?"

Gecko was not sure of what to gather from this. He wasn't exactly nice to his sister, but he is supposedly extremely nice to Tiptoe. But then again, isn't that how siblings acted towards one another?

"Now what would be the use of that? You can make breakfast in the morning though." he heard Brendan tell his sister in a forceful voice. Gecko had a feeling, knowing exactly what it is he wants from Tiptoe. He wanted to stay to hear more, fairly interested.

"I was going to out in the morning when I woke up."

"And you can go out after you make breakfast. Everything will still be out here. Do not say no to me Elizabeth, you understand? I do not like people saying no."

"I'll make breakfast."

Gecko shook his head, knowing he had heard enough. He left Brendan's, heading back to the house. He wasn't sure if he should break the news to Tiptoe or not. He cared about her and didn't want to her to get raped or anything. He was fairly sure that she would not believe him. As he walked into the lodging house, the first thing he saw was Tiptoe coming down the stairs. He sighed quietly to himself, but smiled anyhow. "Hi."

"Oh, hi Gecko," she smiled.

Gecko thought a moment, finally finding an idea. "Look, uh.. I saw Brendan. And we talked. I mean, I told him who I was…"

"You saw him?" she asked, smiling. "Wasn't he nice? I told you he was. He's great."

Gecko shrugged. "Yeah. He wants you to come over to his place around eight… for breakfast," he told her, knowing he would be bossing his sister around. He wanted Tiptoe to really see who he was. "Don't knock. He has a surprise for you. Just stand there, wait for him to open the door."

She looked at him oddly. "He said that? All right…" she smiled a bit. "Did he tell you what it was?"

"I…I sort of know what it is…"

"You do? What is it?"

"Well gee, I'd tell you but it's suppose to be a surprise. Remember?"

"Right," Tiptoe nodded and smiled. "It's nice of him…"

"Yeah." Gecko nodded and yawned. "Well I'll see you tomorrow. Have a nice time tomorrow at Brendan's."

"I will," she smiled. "Thank you Gecko." She went upstairs and laid on her bunk. What could he possibly want to surprise her with? She smiled at the thought of seeing him. She always was excited to see him, but now she had even more excitement in her. She found that it was hard for her to sleep that night.

The next morning, Tiptoe decided to skip selling papers. She planned on selling later that day. She walked up to the door quietly, remembering to wait. She glanced around a moment.

"I said scrambled. Look at these. Do these look scrambled to you?" Tiptoe jumped slightly when she heard Brendan yelling.

"You just said you wanted eggs. This is easier."

"I always have scrambled. Don't you know anything?"

"I'm sorry Brendan. I can make them again for you." Tiptoe bit her lip. This wasn't Brendan. This was not how he acted. He was a nice, sweet, caring guy.

"You better."

Gecko saw her and walked up behind her. He held his papers down at his side. "Surprise."

Tiptoe looked over at Gecko. "You told me to come here to listen to him?" she asked him as she looked back to the door. "That's very mean Gecko…"

"If I had told you straight out at three this morning, you would have listened to me?"

"He's just in a bad mood. He's not a morning person…"

"Or a night person?"

"He…He might have been tired," she said, looking at him.

"Right, okay," Gecko replied dryly. He knocked on the door and quickly scampered away."

"Gecko!" Tiptoe watched him leave.

Brendan grumbled as he got up to answer the door. When he noticed it was Kalandra, his expression immediately changed. "Wow! What a surprise!"

"Good morning. Is everything all right?" Tiptoe asked as she looked at him.

"Why wouldn't it be? You're here." he answered, giving her the smile.

She blushed lightly and smiled. "Well, I heard some screaming, so I wasn't sure."

"Screaming? Who would scream on a beautiful morning like this? It must have been the neighbors. Please, do come in."

She walked in slowly. "Oh the neighbors. It sounded so much like you.."

Brendan continued to smile. "No. It wasn't me at all. I was just enjoying breakfast."

Tiptoe looked at him a moment before smiling. She knew it had been him yelling, but he was only annoyed over something. That was it. She knew he was a nice guy. "You're right. I'm sorry."

Elizabeth glanced at them. "I'm going out now, Brendan."

Brendan turned and gave her a slightly stern glance, but nods before turning his attention back to Kalandra. He smiled at her. "So, what brings you here?"

"Well, my friend told me you…" she stopped. "Um, I just wanted to come see you."

"That's good to hear."

"Yeah…" she looked at him and blushed a bit. "Maybe I should go. So you can enjoy you're breakfast."

"No, please. Come see the house," he offered.

She figured it couldn't hurt. "Mm, all right. I don't want to interrupt."

He shook his head and took her hand, taking her around the house. He showed her each room quickly. He finally approached the last room. "This is my bedroom."

Kalandra peeked in quickly, staying in the hall. "Wow. This house is nice."

Brendan walked in and patted a spot next to him as he sat on the bed. "Please, sit down."

She rubbed the back of her neck lightly. "Um, all right…" she bit her lip and went to sit a little ways from him.

"So you like the house?"

"I do, yes. It's nice."

"Maybe you should come over more often."

"Oh? Well I guess I could try."

Brendan smiled again. "Good."

"After I sell, I suppose then I could come over, if you want," she told him as she looked around the room some, smiling."

"Great," he smiled at her. He watched her stand up. "Leaving so soon?"

"No, no…" she blushed some. "Sorry," she told him and sat back down. He had offered to show her the house and here she was getting up to leave. She knew that was rude.

"I thought we would talk for a little bit."

"All right, that sound good. About what?"

Brendan shrugged. "Our relationship." He placed his hand over her smaller one. "And where it's going. Where we want it to go."

"Oh.." Kalandra smiled some as she looked at his hand. "I think it's fine where it is."

"Oh. I think we're ready to…move on."

"You do?" she asked, looking at him.

"Oh, yes. Of course."

She tuck a piece of hair behind her ear. "If you think so. I thought it was fine where it was."

"No. I think talking and kissing is too immature for us."

"It is?" Tiptoe nodded some. She did not agree, but she told herself not to say anything. "All right…"

"Good. I'm glad you agree," he told her as he started unbuttoning his shirt.

Tiptoe looked over at him, he eyes wide. "What are you doing?"

"Moving our relationship."

She looked down. "But, I don't think…" she shook her head. She couldn't think of what she exactly wanted to say.

"You said it was all right."

"No, not this…"

"This is the next point in our relationship."

"Well, maybe we should hold off on that."

"But I'm ready. Come on Kalandra," he told her in a commanding tone. He was use to getting what he wants.

Tiptoe shut her eyes tightly. She bit her lip and nodded. This wasn't happening, was it? Before, he had been understanding. Sure he was upset sometimes, but still somewhat understanding. "I have to sell my papers.."

"Yes." Brendan nodded.

She looked at him and stood up. "I'll just go now then."

"No. Don't go!" he told her in a commanding tone, not caring who he was talking too.

"Brendan, please…" she flinched some at his yelling.

"No. Haven't I gone out of my way to be nice to you? Out of my way! And this is how you repay me?"

"I'm sorry. You're right…" she nodded, wiping her eyes lightly. She didn't want to upset him, it was the last thing she wanted to do. "I should really go."

"Kalandra. You would be throwing out our relationship. Leave now, no point in ever seeing each other again. You're giving up on this," he told her as he took his shirt off. Tiptoe looked away a moment as he reached over to unbutton her shirt. "I'm glad you're making the right choice."

She turned away from him, tensing up some. "But…am I?"

Brendan sighed, getting impatient. He could not really care what she thought anymore. "You're wasting my time. I wouldn't have been so nice to you if we were not going to do this."

She looked at him, hurt. "Oh…" She didn't know what to think. She didn't stop as he unbuttoned her shirt and took it off. What was she suppose to think? He had used her. That was all it was. She did not want to ruin the relationship and she didn't want to make him mad. She wiped her eyes once more. Gecko had been right. She didn't know him at all.

"You're making a good decision, Kalandra."

"Can't we…later.." she bit her lip.

"No. Now or never," he told her sternly. She swallowed a little and nodded.

As she laid back on the bed, different thoughts went through her mind. This was it. Her virginity ended here. This wasn't what she had imagined it as. How could she have trusted him? He had been the sweetest guy she had known and suddenly she finds out it was all a lie. She was mad at herself mostly. How could she have let this happen? Was she doing the right thing? Was this what was the basis of everyone's relationships? She felt stupid and embarrassed for not knowing. What would everyone think of her if they found out? All these questions ran through her mind as Brendan took over her body.

As soon as it had begun, it ended. She had thought of her first time being sweet and romantic. She had dreamed of being held in his arms afterwards until they both fell asleep together. Then she would wake up in his arms to have a nice breakfast together. It was anything but that. She watched Brendan get dressed. She bit her lip and grabbed her shirt quickly, putting it on.

"You did the right thing Kalandra."

She finished getting dressed quickly. "I have to go."

"Fine," he smiled. "Goodbye Kalandra."

"Bye Brendan." She ran her fingers through her hair and hurried outside. She couldn't bring herself to go back to the lodging house, but also did not want to sell. She sighed and found herself an alley. She sat down and pulled her knees to her chest, hugging them. She put her head against her knees as she felt tears rolling down her cheeks.

That night, she took a long walk. She wanted to think everything over. She walked towards the park, sitting down against a tree. She picked at a piece of grass beside her, staring out in front of her. She felt horrible. She wasn't suppose to feel like this. She felt terrible about what she did with Brendan and for not trusting Gecko. But was this really Gecko's fault? It wasn't. She knew nothing. Brendan himself had told her that it was the basis of a relationship, so he was most likely right. She needed to ask someone, but had no idea who.

"How are things with you and Brendan?" Charity asked.

Tiptoe looked up at her as she held Penny and Ransom's baby, Kyle. "Um," she swallowed a little. "Things are all right, I suppose."

Charity smiled some. "He seemed nice. We ever gonna get to meet him more than once?"

Tiptoe didn't want to admit that she had been avoiding him. "Well, if I see him tomorrow, I'll bring him by.." she looked down at Kyle as he started fussing before crying.

"What's wrong with it?"

"I'm not sure…" Tiptoe looked at Kyle as Charity bit her lip and started backing away some. She rocked him some. "Kyle, shh. Charity, will you help me?" Tiptoe asked as she played with Kyle's small hands, trying to calm him down.

"With what? I don't know what to do."

"What calms them down?" she asked, thinking a moment. "Singing. Come over and help me."

Charity shook her head. "I can't."

"Why not? I'm sure you don't have that bad of a voice…" she bit her lip before starting to hum Hush Little Baby.

"It isn't that," Charity responded. She hesitated before walking closer.

"He won't hurt you," she smiled a bit at her. "And you won't hurt him."

Tiptoe looked over at Penny as she walked downstairs. "I'll take him," she told Tiptoe.

The young girl bit her lip. "I'm so sorry Penny…"

"It's all right." Penny told her as she took him and walked into the kitchen.

Tiptoe watched her and sighed some. She looked over at Charity sitting against the wall. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah, fine," the blonde girl nodded.

"If you're sure."

She tried to smile. "Yeah. I'm just not use to kids I guess."

"Oh, I understand."

"You do?"

"Well, if you're not use to kids, I guess a kid crying and all would be hard to deal with and all," she shrugged. "I don't know. I'm sorry."

"No, it's okay," she shook her head. "You're right. Must be weird for her. Being a mom and all."

"I don't see how she does it," Tiptoe told her truthfully.

Charity sighed. "Me either."

She looked at her and smiled slightly. "But I guess since has Ransom here to help with everything.."

"Yeah, at least she's not going through this alone."

Tiptoe nodded as she watched Gears walk in, going to the kitchen. "I couldn't do that alone."

Charity rested her head back against the wall, thoughts running through her mind. She glanced at Tiptoe. "What would you do though, if you got pregnant and were alone?"

Tiptoe looked at her a moment, not sure of why she was asking the question. "I…I don't know. I guess just try to take care of it on my own. And just pray someone will come and help me."

"Ever think you might just wanna get rid of it?"

"I never really thought about it. I don't know if I could do it.."

Charity bit her lip as she looked over at the younger girl. "Would it make you a bad person if you did?"

"No, I don't think it would make anyone a bad person. If they choose to do then they must have a reason," she shrugged. She was confused over the whole question. Charity nodded, feeling better now. "I guess if you knew there was no way you would ever be able to get help to support it and couldn't support it on your own, someone would. That or adoption."

"Wouldn't have done that. Those places are horrible."

She looked at her a moment, knowing not to ask questions. "Oh? Well, I think I would just keep it."

"Yeah. Good choice."

"What would you do?"

Charity bit her lip. She stayed quiet a few moments before finally just shrugging.

Tiptoe waited a few minutes before speaking up again. Charity knew a lot about relationships, in Tiptoe's mind. "Can I ask you a question?"

"I guess," Charity nodded.

"Well, I'm guessing you and Smudge were…" she stopped, trying the think of a way to put it. She was too embarrassed to ask the question right out. "Were you together in that way…right?" she flushed. She watched Charity nod again. Kalandra looked down at her hands a moment before looking back at her. "Was that the basis of your relationship?"

Charity smiled some, thinking she was joking. "No. Course not. Why?" she asked, looking at her.

"Oh, it wasn't? He didn't tell you…" Tiptoe stopped, shaking her head a little. "No reason."

"Tell me what?"

"He never told you that it was? Or…that you'd be wasting the relationship if you two didn't…?" Tiptoe was confused over everything.

Charity shook her head. "He'd never say that." She looked at her. "Did Brendan tell you that?"

"Mm, no.." she shook her head. The last thing she needed was the lodgers mad at Brendan.

Charity didn't believe her. "Did he tell you that you had to sleep with him?"

Tiptoe swallowed a little and bit her lip. She was a terrible liar and always had been. "He told me I didn't, I'd he ruining the relationship. That I was giving up on it."

"That's bull. He actually told you that?"

"I didn't know what to do. I didn't want him upset with me. He was already a little upset."

"You scared of him?"

"No, no I'm not. Just, I didn't want him to be upset. I told him I should go, but he kept telling me to stay. I made him upset, that's all." The truth was, she was scared of him. When he got upset with her, he wasn't the sweet, caring person he was most of the time.

Charity nodded. "Oh. Still, that's just wrong that he'd sat that.

Tiptoe looked at her and bit her bottom lip. "It is?"

"Well, yeah. I mean, did you want to sleep with him?"

She thought a moment. "No, not really I guess. I wanted to wait."

"Did he know that?"

Tiptoe nodded. "But he said he was ready."

"Of course he was. He's a guy. They always seem to be ready.

Tiptoe looked at her. "No, he's different."

Charity shook her head. "None of them are different."

Kalandra sat on a bench in the park, folding her hands in her lap. She had a lot on her mind. Mostly Brendan. She had seen and heard of girl being used only for the guy's pleasure. He was different. She knew he was, even if Charity said he wasn't. Then the thought of Charity being right crossed her mind. She bit her lip and shook her head. How could he be like others? He had hit her a few times, but only when she wasn't listening. When he had to repeat himself. That was her fault though and she knew that. He was only doing what he had to. He told her she should sleep with him. She did. She trusted him. She did the right thing, that's what he told her. He would know. Tiptoe folded her legs up onto the bench, pulling them underneath her as she watched a few people walk by, some going to work, some coming home from a long day. She smiled some and decided to walk back home.