There had already been one infant in the house already and another one was on the way, they couldn't handle another and she certainly couldn't afford to take care of one. Even if Smudge helped. Smudge... that was another problem. The baby was more then likely his but there was still a chance it wasn't. And if it wasn't his he'd never be able to look at her again. He'd leave her. She couldn't let that happen. He was the best thing that had ever happened to her.

If he knew what she was doing he'd never be able to fogive her. He'd hate her. He'd hate her for not telling him and he'd hate her for getting rid of his child, if indeed it was his. He'd hate her even more then she hated herself for doing this.

He won't find out. No one will.

She had only told one person that she was pregnant and she planned to keep it that way. Empire had promised he wouldn't tell anyone and she believed him. He knew the man who was going to get rid of the pregnancy and he said he trusted him. Charity, however, didn't. Empire and Courage were paying for it though so it wasn't as though she had much of a better choice. She didn't want to do this but what else could she do?

Adoption. She could always just carry the child for the remaining six and a half months then put the baby up for adoption. Though she didn't think she could do that either. Someone would stop her and she didn't want anyone to know she was with child in the first place. She didn't think could give birth to the baby and then just get rid of it anyway. Besides, she had grown up in an orphanage and knew what it was like in those places. She didn't want that for the baby. Her baby. It was a part of her, a living being growing inside of her...

Stop it, Charity.

She had to keep her mind off other alternatives for fear that she might realize she was making a mistake. Then again what else was new? Her whole life all she had been doing was making mistakes, why should this be any different?

"People make mistakes, mistakes, that's all they are. Don't worry. You will fix it," Empire's voice rang throughout her ears. She was fixing her mistake. That's all she was doing.

But what if this was her mistake; killing her baby? She saw Promise Kept with her new baby girl and how happy she seemed and she saw the look of anticipation in Ransom and Penny's eyes as they awaited the arrival of their child. Maybe she should keep it. She and Smudge could take care of it. He could get a second job somewhere and everything would work out fine.

No.

She wasn't anything like them and she didn't want to do that to Smudge. He didn't deserve to have his life ruined like this. She had to do this for him, for herself and for the sake of the baby. She didn't want her child to be brought into this cruel world only to be born a bastard to a drug addicted, alcoholic mother. With the amount of drugs she had been taking lately the baby would end up coming out... wrong... or dead.

She wondered if she'd ever be able to forgive herself for aborting the child, she knew no one else would if they ever found out. Would she regret it later on? What if she wasn't doing the right thing? What if she was? What if something went wrong?

She had never been so terrified her entire life. A baby. She was killing her own baby! What kind of person did that make her? It was something she had to do though, no matter what anyone else thought this was her decision and she was going to get rid of it.

It's for the best, she told herself as the man prepared for the abortion. It's for the best...

She screamed in sheer agony as the abortion began. The man used forceps to open her cervix then jammed a metal hooked rod into her. The pain was too immense for her. She didn't think she could handle anymore and she was bleeding so much. Was this supposed to happen? Was it supposed to hurt this much? She felt at any moment she would pass out.

It didn't happen that way though. For what seemed like an eternity Charity screamed and cried; wishing for some form of release from the pain even after the fetus was pulled out. She could hear Empire banging on the door, trying to get in and yelling for the man to let him in to the room. The door was locked... she hadn't remembered the man locking the door.

Her body shook violently and the tears rushed down her face. She wanted it all to be over. She just wanted the pain to end. Even death, she thought, would be better then spending another moment suffering like this. Soon everything went black and she fainted just as Empire succeeded in getting into the room. It was then that the pain finally stopped.