Summary
This is my personal blog (weB-LOG) about my life at seminary.
|
|
|
|
Random Thoughts
Noteworthy Events
Tuesday, September 30, 2003, AM
Conveniently located in the main hallway, through which all seminarians pass each day on their way to eat, there is something called "the day board". Here are posted the day's important announcements and other points of interest. Monday, I read with great interest this article from the National Catholic Register. First, I liked it because of how we got mentioned. But second of all, I was pleased that our thoughts on the subject had been so similar. (See Sept. 23rd post On Celibacy.)
Tonight I finished my study guide to The Phaedo for HN&E. I put a lot of effort into it and I am pleased with its clarity. Here is Plato's classic in eight pages flat. (Revised October 2nd)
Today, September 30, marks the 106th anniversary of the death of St. Thérèse of Lisieux (1873-1897), who died of tuberculosis at the age of 24.
Her head fell back on the pillow and was turned toward the right. The Prioress had the infirmary bell rung, and the Sisters quickly returned. "Open all the doors," Mother Marie de Gonzague ordered. Hardly had the community knelt at her bedside when Thérèse pronounced very distinctly, while gazing at her crucifix: "Oh! I love Him!" And a moment later: "My God, I love you!"
Suddenly her eyes came to life and were fixed on a spot just a little above the statue of the Blessed Virgin. Her face took on the appearance it had when
Thérèse enjoyed good health. She seemed to be in ecstasy. This look lasted for the space of a "Credo." Then she closed her eyes and expired. It was 7:20 in the evening.
A Beautiful Soul
Monday, September 29, 2003, 1:19 AM
At this late hour I have finished reading Story of a Soul, the autobiography of St. Thérèse of Lisieux. Her book offers both consolations and challenges for me.
I am quite fond of this Carmelite nun, who said before her young death, "I feel that my mission is about to begin, my mission of making others love God as much as I love Him, my mission of teaching my little way to souls. If God answers my requests, my heaven will be spent on earth up until the end of the world. Yes, I want to spend my heaven in doing good on earth."
As I had suspected, there is good reason for why this patron saint of seminarians' is so beloved here. Her picture is found in so many of my brothers' rooms. Perhaps it is the due to the photographic processes of her time, but my impression has been that her photos seem to have a glow about them. My first impression of her image in one of my DB's room was that her face appeared back-lighted by the sun. But, looking behind it, I saw the frame was solid behind. Interesting.
The one observation about her story I'd like to share tonight is this: She loved so much because she was greatly loved.
The Great Opening Paragraphs to Story of a Soul
Talking to Eric
Saturday, September 27, 2003, 11:41 PM
This morning we went to the abortion clinic in the rain and I meet Eric. Eric is a man who comes to protest the Catholic Church. He wears a clerical cassock (black cloak), a biretta (four cornered hat), and a wooden cross. He holds in hand a tag board sign which has something or other about "Pro-choice" written in rough black marker on one side and "Free the Altar Boys" on the other. Whenever the seminarians pass by in procession saying the rosary he either says something blasphemous about Mary or critical of the Church in regards to the sex-abuse scandal. When women would enter the clinic he would say, "Trust doctors, not religious groups." Ironically, Eric does not really care much about the abortion issue. He is there to oppose the Catholic Church.
I went over to talk with him and found another seminarian already discoursing with him. I got to begin by killing a lingering mosquito for him and he thanked me. I did not say much, intending to listen and to speak little for greatest effect. He was quite crude at the beginning, flinging "fuck's" about, but in the presence of our calm demeanors he mellowed. (It is hard to be angry in the presence of someone who is calm, to be loud when your opponent is quiet.) Eric is not insane, but he lacks peace. We carried on a somewhat contentious though rational conversation. Eric's two main issues seem to be that the Church is corrupt (as evidenced by indifference to child molestation) and that it persecutes homosexuals. (Of course, I disagree with both views.) I think it is not too much of a reach to suppose that one or both of these issue are personal reasons for him.
We talked mainly about about those topics, as well as the media, and briefly about scripture. At my partner's request, Eric listed the religious denominations he does like (Reformed Judaism, Unitarian Universalist, lapsed Catholics, etc.). Then he listed the various groups he "hates" more than us Roman Catholics.
At some point a car slowed down along side the curb with its window rolled down. The young man in the vehicle looked directly at Eric in his clerical costume and, mistaking him for a priest, said "Fuck you and your God." Eric made a laugh of this. I recognized the irony, but I simply found it sad. (Now that I reflect upon it, Eric's laugh seemed somewhat phoney, as though it were a chosen act after deliberation.) I had a thought then, but I could not put it into words: "Eric, can't you see that he is your mirror? Now look at us. We are not angry or hateful and I can say I have peace in life. Neither you nor he can say the same. Neither of you are happy. Doesn't this give you pause?"
Earlier, before our conversation, while I was standing in the rain I prayed that I was willing to be drenched if it would be somehow useful. It rained a little harder then. Now back to the conversation. At this point, the cold and wet had their effect. I was shivering, but focusing on the speakers. Eric noticed and inserted a joke about me being "cool". I think it showed I cared about what he had to say.
When it was time to leave and the others were walking off, I waited behind Eric for his one on one attention. He turned and I said the best thing I had to offer.
"I don't hate you, Eric." And it was true.
He replied, "But your church does." He knew I was a Catholic seminarian.
"That's not the church I believe in," I answered.
I walked away to catch up with those who I was riding with. After a few seconds Eric said something similar to, "But that's what the bishop believes." It is probably best he got in a last word. That way, perhaps, his thoughts dwelt after upon what I had said rather than formulating responses he should have said.
I walked away struck by, and thankful for, how God had helped me say the right words. I maintain hope for Eric. I believe that sometimes those who seem furthest away from God, based on externals, are actually closer to coming to Him. So let's pray for him.
Showing Certain Shower Curtains
Friday, September 26, 2003, 11:57 PM
The reason I did not post earlier today or yesterday is due to my work condensing notes on Plato's Phaedo for HN&E. I'm quite pleased with its content and clarity so far. When I finish I'll post it here to be read by everyone who will is interested. Yes, both of them.
Today I helped to plant flowers in the cemetery here where about a dozen alumni priest and rectors are buried. I never liked the look of the place before. Something about the colors and monuments reminded me of German concentration camps I had visited. But after our planting work there this afternoon I find it much more pleasant.
Tonight I enjoyed watching The Cardinal, a 1962 film about the life of an American priest who becomes, in the end (you guessed it), a cardinal. It's a great story. A long movie, it had an intermission, its first half was better then the second, but I liked it very much. I think the guys here enjoyed it more than most people would, in particular, getting a little extra kick out of the funny parts.
In other news, a DB of mine on our floor bought new shower curtains for our bathroom. (I won't go into why this was necessary.) Another DB of mine, the floor captain, featured them in a recent email.
Showing Off Our Shower Curtains
TRUE or FALSE
Wednesday, September 24, 2003, 2:21 PM
This morning I took the MMPI-2, that is, the Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory test. There were 567 questions and I spent 3 hours completing it. Here are some of the more interesting questions, along with my TRUE or FALSE responses, provided for your entertainment.
12. My sex life is satisfactory.
TRUE - The way I see it, I'm not un-satisfied with the chaste and celibate life.
41. I do not always tell the truth.
FALSE - This is the one that will make them think I'm a liar. When I first learned of Jesus' teaching on honesty I thought it was unrealistic. "Let your 'Yes' mean 'Yes,' and your 'No' mean 'No.' Anything more is from the evil one." (Matthew 5:37) But experience has shown me that non-deception is the best policy. It's easier on your soul, and it helps you to avoid doing in the first place those things that you would have to lie about later.
72. My soul sometimes leaves my body.
FALSE - I seem to be holding everything together.
162. Someone has been trying to poison me.
FALSE - The food remains quite good here.
336. Someone has control over my mind.
FALSE - Though I think it does feel TRUE for every student sometimes (final exams, assigned readings).
432. I am fascinated by fire.
TRUE - If you say FALSE here, then they know you are lying. Everyone is fascinated by fire.
The schwalBlog
Tuesday, September 23, 2003, 9:41 PM
I want to use this opportunity to introduce you to the blog that inspired this one. The work of my friend, Justin Schwalbe's schwalBlog.
What can I say about my buddy, Schwalbe? It seems like he and I go way back. Could it really just be two years? Yet, he holds a special place in my fond college memories. I enjoy keeping in touch with him these days by Yahoo Messenger (other dear friends take note) and I read his blog virtually daily. So check out his blog. I think you'll like getting to know him too.
On Celibacy
Tuesday, September 23, 2003, 12:31 AM
A young, old philosophy friend of mine emailed me today. He asked a number of questions and suggested that I could respond in the blog. Today I wrote a reply to the following:
"I'm sure you are aware that most Christian sects do not require their "priests" or whatever to remain single and celibate. My grandpa, for instance, was a Lutheran minister. If he was Catholic, I wouldn't be! Anyways, I was curious as to the origins of this rule. I have heard that it was put into effect during the middle ages. It's primary purpose was to make sure that priests had no heirs (legitimate or otherwise), thus any material wealth would be given over to the church. In essence, it was all about the $. Do you know of any more legitimate purpose of this law or where it came from- and why other sects don't follow it? Do you think this law may have been in part a cause for the sexual abuses committed by many priests? Lastly, do you feel it should still be in effect?"
Priestly Celibacy is a Matter of Discipline, Not Doctrine
You are right to call priestly celibacy a rule rather than a doctrine. It is a discipline required of priests by the Church for the greater good of its people. (Though in the early church, priests and bishops were married, and today, some priests are married Protestant converts.) At the Holy Spirit's prompting, this rule could be changed, though I don't think it will be (or ought to be) changed in our time.
(A Side Note Concerning Your Existence)
[You wrote: "I'm sure you are aware that most Christian sects do not require their "priests" or whatever to remain single and celibate. My grandpa, for instance, was a Lutheran minister. If he was Catholic, I wouldn't be!"]
Feel detached from the pull to agree that the practices which have causally brought about to your existence are best. Your existence here is a great good (which I have personally enjoyed), but the natural causes which seemingly arranged for your birth need not receive your advocacy. As an example, (and it is a bad one since your grandfather's status as a married pastor certainly should not be condemned) we would not be here if the institution of slavery had not existed in America. However, that does not require that we refrain from declaring slavery to be a bad practice and that those responsible should have acted differently. (Again, my point is not that a married clergy is a wicked institution, but to allow you to accept the possibility that a celibate clergy is a better way.)
When I was a kid I once asked our priest why it was ok for people not to have as many children as possible. The way it occurred to me then, you were preventing people from existing by never conceiving them. Causing someone's non-existence seemed worse to me than murder. He assured me, "You will have as many kids as you are supposed to."
If God loves us, He would not allow our existence to have been decided, yea or nay, by (if you'll forgive me) a fart in the wind or some other arbitrary, chaotic variable. The same applies for any and all of our children, yet to be born, who we are destined to pro-create in the future. There is a peace to be found in this.
The Origins of Celibate Clergy
The tradition in the Western or Latin-Rite Church has been for priests as well as bishops to take vows of celibacy, a rule that has been firmly in place since the early Middle Ages. You suggested that the reason this rule was put into place then was due to financial concerns. "It's primary purpose was to make sure that priests had no heirs (legitimate or otherwise), thus any material wealth would be given over to the church. In essence, it was all about the $."
This is not the first time I have come across the explanation suggested here. It may be that this practical reason prompted the change. I do not know. But it is wrong to then conclude from this that the entire concept of dedicated celibacy in service to God is a unnatural introduction into Christianity, fit to be discarded. The Christian recognition of the spiritual and practical benefits of celibate life, and praise of its observance, goes back to the time of Jesus.
Celibacy's Christian Foundation
It should not be disregarded that Jesus Christ, the model for all Christians but in a special way for priests, lived a celibate life Himself. He also encouraged it in His teaching. He commended "those who have renounced marriage for the sake of the kingdom of heaven", declaring the ability to do so a gift. (Matthew 19:11-12)
St. Paul taught similarly, wishing that all could be celibate like himself, but he noted that each person has a particular gift from God. (1 Corinthians 7:7) Paul wrote about the freedom for full devotion that celibacy provides. "An unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord. But a married man is anxious about the things of the world, how he may please his wife, and he is divided." (1 Corinthians 7:32-34)
The history of the Church also attests to an honored tradition of consecrated celibacy as practiced by nuns, monks, and great saints. While the gift of self to God in celibacy has always been celebrated in Christianity, it must be remembered that neither Jesus, Paul, nor the Church ever taught that marriage is anything less than a very good and holy institution.
The Benefits of Celibacy for Clergy
St. Paul wrote that those who marry do not sin, but added that "such people will experience affliction in their earthly life, and I would like to spare you that." (1 Corinthians 7:28) There are advantages to living a celibate life. I think this is especially true for a priest.
A Total Gift of Self to All
Francis Cardinal George says of the man who is a priest, "He not an ecclesiastical [church] bachelor. He's not an eternal boy. He is someone who is called to be a father of a family." As a celebrate priest I will be able to devote myself fully to my entire congregation, holding nothing in reserve for my family, for they shall be my family. This thought of a wider gift of self pleases me.
Practical Considerations
I expect it to be great and fulfilling life, but not an easy one. It demands long hours and great personal effort. I imagine the great strain on the Protestant minister, with a wife and kids of his own, combined with all of the concerns and demands of a modern congregation pulling on his time and attention. How could this be easier than the celibate ministry?
Without a family, a priest can be sent to wherever he is needed, whenever he is needed. He lives humbly, though comfortably in the rectory. With no family to support, his salary is tens of thousands of dollars less for the congregation to supply. His reputation is his own. His attention is undivided. The list goes on. The celibate priesthood makes a great deal of practical sense.
Married Clergy is Not the Answer
Married clergy is not the answer to the problems of the priest shortage or scandal in the Church today because celibacy is not the real cause of these problems. Holiness is the answer. Our lack in holiness and devotion to God is the source of all our problems. If together we acknowledge God and put him first in our lives there will be no shortage of vocations in our time. The answer to every human problem is found in holiness. I hope that God enables me to be part of the solution.
A Full-Filling Day
Sunday, September 21, 2003, 10:53 PM
This morning my clock was set for 11:00 AM. I wanted to make sure I caught up on sleep, but did not sleep my day away. As it happened, I was a awake and could sleep no more at 9:00 AM. I guess a fully-lived day was part of the plan.
As a result of this, I was able to enjoy an extended conversation with a friend on a rocking bench in a beautiful garden courtyard in the sun. There were three sets of statues among the flowers. One was of St. Francis, another pair was Mary with St. Bernadette, and the last statue was a garden gnome reading a book. We agreed that he represented the seminarians.
After some time, another friend joined us. At this the same trio that meets for discussions on Wednesday afternoons was convened. Our friend was quite joyful, having received what he described in the moment as the greatest gift he had ever received. He had come to an epiphany about the meaning of life and his relationship with God. I could follow his thoughts most of the way and I was quite pleased for him.
Immediately after this came lunch together, with three others as well, including my spiritual advisor. I asked Father some probing questions about the relationship between the Roman Catholic and Orthodox Churches (prompted by my curiosity if we could receive Communion at their services). His responses were insightful and I was complimented for my questions. I responded that it's due to my not knowing much, which leaves all of the good questions available for me to ask.
This meal determined that I would accompany Father to his mass off campus in the afternoon. It was a charismatic service and, all told, I was there from 2:30 to 6:00. It was different. I saw several things I really liked and one or two things I didn't. The music was entirely familiar to me due to my InterVarsity days.
This evening I enjoyed a dinner (of noodles covered with cheese sauce, meat and vegetable sauce, and stuffing) with great conversation. Topics included the beatification of saints (as Mother Teresa will soon be), personal memories of when Popes and others were shot or died, and horribly hilarious liturgical music of decades past.
Tonight I enjoyed reading more of St. Thérèse of Lisieux's Story of a Soul, both before and during our Holy Hour (Eucharistic exposition). I'm looking forward to telling you more about her whenever I finish that book. Last of all, I enjoyed two bowls of sweet bran and raison cereal in the company of pleasant company. Now it is time for me to catch up on that sleep.
Memorable Meals
Saturday, September 20, 2003, 10:41 PM
This morning I went again with the guys to the abortion clinic. The time there just flew by. Perhaps it was because I simply stood in one place instead of walking. After that, I worked through another Mud Bowl practice. (At what point do scrapes and aches make exercise counter-productive?) After cleaning up I went to mass, had lunch (brats, sauerkraut, kernel corn, and cheesy eggplant), and then crashed into bed for a few hours.
Late this afternoon, two friends and I went into town for reconciliation and mass at St. Michael's. The homily was good, based around the importance of the laity (regular folks) in the church, but the highlight came later. I think the consecration was the best I'm ever seen. (Where the priest pronounces "This is my body...This is my blood.") The reason was that he made it real, as Jesus must have said it.
Which brings me to the recently released extended trailer of The Passion. (The four minute version is the new one.) The other night there were eight guys huddled into one room watching it. This preview includes a snippet of that Last Supper consecration. For those of you with more humble computational machines, here is a page of still images from the trailer.
After mass, we traveled all of the way, clear across town searching for a Vietnamese restaurant. We eventually turned around and settled on a sushi place called Sushico a half mile from the seminary. It was fantastic. I had a great time with those two. Great conversations.
Jon of the Newman Center has identified the statue in our hallway (see Sept. 12th's post). It is that of St. Thomas Aquinas, Mr. Metaphysics himself. Now the only question is "Who that bird is on his shoulder?"
(Insert Fitting Title Here)
Saturday, September 20, 2003, 12:55 AM
In Metaphysics, I'm trying to figure out the difference between "form" and "shape" in reality. I am not yet convinced of forms. That is quite bothersome because the concept seems rather foundational to the entire system.
In Man, Revelation, and the Bible (which will be known as MR&B hereafter forever) our teacher, a priest from our diocese, told the sad story of a sweet little girl named Jamie. Jamie drowned in a pool and lived on for seven years in a non-responsive state, cared for and loved by her family, until her death. His stirring story was told first-hand, experienced during his time at a parish, and it showed.
Stories such as this, he said, force us to ask important questions, "What is life's purpose? Where are we going?" This search, he said, leads to God. "[Y]ou have made us for yourself, and our heart is restless until it rests in you.' (St. Augustine) It was the best 10 minutes of any class I've experienced this year and I made a point to tell him so.
This evening we had our own version of the Olympics. Seminarians grouped into teams and competed in soccer, volleyball, lawn darts (which, BTW, are illegal in this state), a relay race, and a thrilling tug of war tournament. I did not compete, but enjoyed taking some digital photos of the competitors.
There was about a half dozen teams with about a half dozen players apiece. Each had a team name and their own style. For instance, The Hounds of Heaven (dog theme), The Church Triumphant, and Mary's Knights (wielding plastic swords). My personal favorite was the 1st place team, composed entirely of deacons, The League of Ordinary Ministers.
I would have posted this and been in bed a few hours ago if I had not gone along to see Second Hand Lions with three of my DB's. I went in the name of "fraternal unity", and I'm glad I did. My expectations for the movie were so low that they were easily and soundly exceeded.
Goals and Growth
Thursday, September 18, 2003, 11:19 PM
Yesterday was St. Robert Bellarmine's feast day. He was a Jesuit and contemporary of St. Ignatius. The reason I mention it is that a reading for that day, written by him, teaches the same message as the FIRST PRINCIPLE AND FOUNDATION (see Sept. 16's post). In fact, I think that piece inspired him to write:
"May you consider truly good whatever leads to your goal and truly evil whatever makes you fall away from it. Prosperity and adversity, wealth and poverty, health and sickness, honors and humiliations, life and death, in the mind of the wise man, are not to be sought for their own sake, nor avoided for their own sake. But if they contribute to the glory of God and your eternal happiness, then they are good and should be sought. If they detract from this, they are evil and must be avoided."
My favorite Christian writer, C.S. Lewis, wrote, "It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare. All day long we are, in some degree, helping each other to one of these destinations." We not only move others towards one of these ends. In our everyday lives, we are moving ourselves to one or the other end as well.
And now, to nuts and bolts...
Today I finalized my Growth Plan for the year. This poster, which is now taped to my radiator under the window, contains habit I intend to keep and goals I desire to achieve.
It's past my bedtime. How about a photo to round things out and wrap things up?
A naturally beautiful seminary.
Daydream
Wednesday, September 17, 2003, 10:07 PM
I looked into the mirror and my hair was completely messed up. I couldn't remember it ever looking worse. I thought to myself, "I need to fix this before class. Class... Class." That's when I woke up from my nap and realized that I was 20 minutes late for my Metaphysics class.
I got to class and sat in the only open seat I saw. Front row, center. I don't think you've had a full and complete seminary week unless you've been embarrassed at least once. I'm grateful I only missed that little of class. Peacefully sleeping, it could have been much worse. A classmate told he prayed that I'd wake up. I think it may have worked.
At lunch, Sister asked, "So how are you new guys finding the food?"
I said, "I just follow the crowd."
We got our quizzes back this afternoon in Man, Revelation, and the Bible. It did not go well for many and there was much murmuring in the camp. How did I do? Quite well, indeed. You see, I had already filled my humiliation quota for the day.
In the past, whenever people would ask me how many hours of sleep I get or need each night, I would be at a loss. Recently, I decided to find out. My data gathered over 16 consecutive days reveal that I get an average of 7 hours, 33 minutes (7:33) of sleep daily. On weekends the average is 9:23. But on weekdays I spend 5:26 in bed at night and 1:31 napping during the day, for an average total of 6:57.
Experience indicates that I'm not getting enough sleep during the working week, so from now on (starting tonight) my aim is to be in bed between 10:30 and 11:00 PM every night. So far, so good.
My First Day of Practice
Tuesday, September 16, 2003, 11:14 PM
Today at lunch I firmly resolved not to get involved in the Mud Bowl. The Mud Bowl is the annual flag-football game between the collegians and theologians. Somewhat of a big deal is made of it around here. The game is always played November 1st, on the feast of All Saints. Today marked the first day of theologian practice.
I was inclined to get involved, but I couldn't justify it. How can I pursue that while I am in need of more sleep. Of course, if you read the title of this post, you are likely anticipating that something changed my mind.
Each year, seminarians create a Growth Plan for themselves. They pursue formational goals by means of specific plans of action. One thing I included was committing to at least two hours of physical activity each week. I'm healthy these days, but I remember a saying: "Good health is an invisible crown. Healthy people wear it, but only sick people can see it." Illness and ailments will come in my life, but I hope not due to my own lazy self-neglect.
I realized that this works out perfectly. It's a wonderful thing when what you want to do and what you're supposed to do line up. So at 3:00 I was out on the practice field.
The practice went well, though 5 minutes into it I had a bloody nose. (That will happen when you are fielding a punted ball and itt lands on your face.) "First blood," they said. I clotted it with my t-shirt, which soon after that got ripped on the side. I thought, "Perfect, a football shirt!" But, the best part was running the offensive pass routes. It's a mystery to me, but at some point in my life I apparently got rather good at catching footballs.
As I was panting for breath between plays on defense, I reflected on the character building aspects of what I was up to. I was reminded of this great passage by St. Ignatius that a DB of mine read in a conversation last night:
23. FIRST PRINCIPLE AND FOUNDATION
Man is created to praise, reverence, and serve God our Lord, and by this means to save his soul.
The other things on the face of the earth are created for man to help him in attaining the end for which he is created.
Hence, man is to make use of them in as far as they help him in the attainment of his end, and he must rid himself of them as far as they prove a hindrance to him.
Therefore, we must make ourselves indifferent to all created things, as far as we are allowed free choice and not under any prohibition. Consequently, as far as we are concerned, we should not prefer health to sickness, riches to poverty, honor to dishonor, a long life to a short life. The same holds for all other things.
Our one desire and choice should be what is more conducive to the end for which we are created.
(From The Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius)
I don't know the following thing is legit, but it is still pretty neat:
"Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe."
(My Mexican seminarian neighbor from across the hall read it aloud and did pretty good on it too. His only real problems came from short four-letter words, "lsat" and "rset". You will notice that the phrasing is natural and includes many correctly spelled words, so you tend to anticipate the next word. Also, the longer, double letter words have their double letters paired. For instance, "Aoccdrnig", "mttaer", "ltteers". This may be a conjured piece of fiction, but it is still interesting.)
It's so Late, it's Early
Tuesday, September 16, 2003, "One-ish" AM
It was a fine day. I got two naps in. But more than that, classes were good. Tonight I went to a Mexican party with great food and music. (The 16th is Mexican independence day.) I did my best to sing along loudly and occasionally accurately to the rousing Spanish songs. And not least of all, mass and prayers we good today too.
I took my first multiple choice quiz in a long time for Man, Revelation, and the Bible. It was at times tricky, but quite manageable. If you're a college student who doesn't want to take another multiple choice test again, switch to a major in math.
The tower at sunset.
Sunday Summary
Sunday, September 14, 2003, 11:58 PM
My day began around 9:20 AM. I showered, dressed spiffy in my suit and tie, and made my way to the church to celebrate the feast of the Exultation of the Cross at 10:00. The rows of seats were packed because donors to the seminary were there. The message surrounded the cross as the key to unlocking the problem of suffering. Good, but it ran a bit long. A few times I thought to myself, "That would have been a good place to end it." The best thought that sticks with me is, "Jesus was the perfect obedient Son, who did the Father's will without complaining."
After that, I came into the refectory after everyone else and discovered an odd thing. There was not a single open seat available at any occupied table, neither on the college nor the theology side. So I sat by myself and soon a DB of mine sat with me. All of this seems more than chance since this unique situation allowed him, one on one, to tell me his remarkable vocation story and of its many providential turns. And what I heard was only the summary version. I consider my story quite dull in comparison. It has been a comparatively even and easy road for me. In retrospect, my vocation has been natural for me. Though my story seems to lack dramatic twists and turns it is one that will allow me to enter the vineyard early in the morning of my life.
After that I went down to the pub where the Wingless Angels' upbeat guitar, sax, and bongo played. I myself played well in three games of füssball, then I hit around the old ping pong.
Then I went upstairs to my room and milled about a bit. I instant messaged with a friend and that proved providential, too. Next I went back to the church to read more of Story of a Soul and pray until evening prayers there. At dinner thereafter I enjoyed rice under meat and gravy along with milk and chocolate cake. The table's conversation included a discussion on the question of studying on Sundays. I think my conclusion on the matter is that Sunday must be kept special. As for me, it means no homework.
From 8:30 to 9:30 this evening I enjoyed a holy hour before the Eucharistic Presence. Then I enjoyed a late night bowl of honey-bran in the refectory, talking with a Burmese seminarian about Buddhism in his country. And now, it's time to post this blog entry.
Nuts and Bolts
Sunday, September 14, 2003, 1:01 AM
The feedback from home is that there is not enough "nuts and bolts" details about my life here at seminary. The thing is that I don't find ordinary life here extra-ordinary. Satisfying sure, but it rarely seems worth writing home about. But I'll do my best to give the people what they want.
He we are automatically assigned to a house job, a particular chore for the community. My house job groups me with five other guys in cleaning the stairwells. This will allow us to alternating the work every week, with groups of three and three. Today, a DB and I, proactive and self-motivated, spent a number of hours cleaning the stairs. I even vacuumed the elevator. I enjoy saying it took me a long time because I had to vacuum it on every floor.
This afternoon I was in the library looking for journal articles in relation to Karol Wojtyla's theology of the body. (Wojtyla is better known today as Pope John Paul II.) I intend to write a Human Nature paper based on his book Love and Responsibility and some of his essays on the human person.
Dinner main dish was pasta (cylinder-shaped shells), red sauce with too many vegetables (for my tastes), and succulent meatballs (the best of all). Tabletalk told of a bluegrass festival in Kansas and discussed the fittingness of a college football team to be named after a tree.
This evening I read the first nine sections of an assigned reading, Christifideles Laici, or The Lay Members of Christ's Faithful People, an Apostolic Exhortation by JP2. I also talked to the folks ("nuts and bolts") and went down to the pub for a pizza and a Leine's on tap.
A Little Red Dot
Saturday, September 13, 2003, 11:11 AM
When I woke up this morning I thought to myself, "There's too much sun in my eyes for it to be early." My alarm never went off because I had misinterpreted a little red dot on my clock. It was set to PM instead of AM. As a result, I never woke up to advocate for life at the abortion clinic this morning. This mistake goes to show, just because something is small doesn't mean it's not important.
The Essence of Things
Friday, September 12, 2003, 1:29 PM
Today I turned in my first paper for Metaphysics, "What is Metaphysics?". We had to keep it all to one page. It was funny to see the tricks people were doing with their margins to make everything fit. I think I did a good job on it and maybe you'll find it interesting. Metaphysics promises a great deal. I'm trying to stay on top of it all so I can understand everything that is there.
Below is a old photo of one of my classrooms. It's slightly different these days in that my classes are a bit more crowded and the teacher seen here, a real funny guy, doesn't have that moustache anymore. Yesterday in class he told us that he and Martha Stewart were from the same city out East. In a quote that will go down as one of the funniest of the year, he said, "If you scratch Martha Stewart, you get me." Now some are considering essays on what you would get if you scratched him.
One of My Classrooms
Fun in the Refectory
Friday, September 12, 2003, 12:19 AM
I believe my sister has returned tonight from the hospital. My mother had suggested as much and there was no one there when I called Jenny's room this evening. Again, thank you for your prayers.
On Thursdays, all eight guys from our diocese (and a few other guys who don't have DB's of their own) get together for a rosary, vespers, and dinner together. It was all good, but here is part of the fun we had that you can partake of at home.
Take a glass, pour in some Sprite, drop in some raisins, and enjoy the dance. After awhile, put a dime-sized amount of salt in your palm, throw that in, and watch the fireworks. Who knows what other marvels I never learned in college?
Below is a picture of the hallway I live on. (That's a simple way of saying corridor.) On the fourth floor we enjoy the presence of a lounge and a statue, which I presume to be of a saint. I don't know who he is, what he holds in his hands, why there's a sun on his chest, or why a bird is sitting on his left shoulder and talking into his ear. He's still nice to have around though.
My Hallway
It's a Partnership
Thursday, September 11, 2003, 12:15 AM
[An Internet failure here delayed this post until Thursday, 12:11 PM]
Today's discussion group met my expectations. It was a fruitful time, though I regret that my thoughts are the ones that have stuck with me the most. I'll try taking notes next time. I'm really looking forward to our time next week. One of us was designated to chose the topic. It will perhaps be another short reading or a set questions on issues raised in our courses.
If we are honest with ourselves we recognize that we are deeply flawed. This is what Newman's sermon helps to make clear. Our love is not near to where it ought to be. So what should we do about our many failures to love?
If you try to fix your own spiritual flaws, all by yourself, you will either fail and be miserable, or 'succeed' by leveraging your pride against your vice, and then fail after a little while. A fact for which I have a great deal of first-hand empirical evidence is that soul-repair is not a do-it-yourself job. First you have to admit that you are utterly feeble in yourself and that you need His help. After this, you and God can start working together.
Then, once you are successful in overcoming your imperfection, don't say you did it all by yourself or you will soon be reminded of your weakness. On the other hand, don't say "I had nothing to do with it," because that's not true either. It's a partnership. (Sure, He does most of the heavy lifting, but the role you play is still essential.) It's a partnership that allows you to say with genuine affection, "Thank you for all you've done with me."
Below is a picture of our oratory. (That's a fancy way of saying chapel.) But, as this professional photo reveals, this place deserves a fancy name. It is a beautiful place to pray.
St. Joseph's Oratory [Link repaired thanks to Schwabs.]
Conversations Anticipated and Enjoyed
Tuesday, September 9, 2003, 11:57 PM
One month from today, I hope to be enjoying the company of my young, old college friends. It's been some time since I've seen many of them and I'm anticipating the trip greatly. Not so much the 11 hours of driving there, but the part where I actually arrive. Those four days with family and friends will be precious and most enjoyable.
Today I had my inaugural conversation with my spiritual advisor. It was very good session. I had the impression we were meant to be paired. Evidently, he thought so too. I heard he only had a few open spots to fill and, as the director of spiritual formation here, many people wrote him down as their first pick like I did. The best thing I took away today was this thought about love. "Love is the sincere gift of self." Yeah.
Below is a picture of our refectory. (That's a fancy way of saying cafeteria.) Both the food and conversations there are usually pretty good.
The Refectory
Sharing Perspectives
Monday, September 8, 2003, 11:05 PM
Jenny is doing well. I got to talk with her tonight and things are looking good. Thank you for your spiritual aid.
I spoke seven times in class today. Twice in Metaphysics, twice in Man, Revelation, and the Bible, and three times in Intro to Psychology. I was concerned that this was a bit much. It was certainly more than most people talk, but my motivation each time was to be helpful, so I'm not going to worry about it. A useful tangential tip: I find that the best way to correct someone is in the form of a respectful question.
Myself and two new friends have decided to start up a discussion group for Wednesday afternoons. Last week we started a conversation waiting in the hallway for the bookstore to open. When the store opened the conversation was too engrossing to end. A half-hour later we almost got locked out of the store due to closing time. That dialogue was something we were all eager to reprise for common growth and support.
Our first discussion will be about a particular Newman sermon at my request. It's message annoyed me upon my first reading of it, not because I was convinced it was wrong, but because I tended to think it was right. Not wanting to be one of those who would tar and feather a prophet and then run him out of town on a rail (I think that happened once or twice in the Old Testament) I decided not to discard and evade the topic. I'm looking forward to my friends' second opinions on it.
The grounds and architecture here are wonderful sights. Here are some photos:
A seminary landscape. I live on the 4th floor of the building on the left.
The view returning from the college building. The best sight to be seen on campus.
A beautiful evening photo. The lovely theology parking lot.
I have appended two photo links to Sunday's post of our seminarians supporting life at the abortion clinic.
Good/Bad News
Sunday, September 7, 2003, 11:21 PM
This morning I got an email from my little sister which opened with a greeting and then, "[The] Good News: Jenny is okay." Obviously, what followed was not going to be good news about my oldest sister.
Jenny is currently in the hospital, recovering from a surgery this morning to remove her appendix. When the doctors were operating they discovered that the appendix had actually ruptured. This means that there is an increased chance for infection, so she be watched in the hospital for the next 5 to 7 days.
Please add your prayers to mine for the good of my sister and her family.
The Culture of Life
Sunday, September 7, 2003, 12:45 AM
Saturday morning, I accompanied 25 to 30 other seminarians to advocate for life in the city. In two groups, we prayed the rosary in processions around a two-story bunker-like building with clouded windows where abortions are performed. Saturday morning is one of the two times during the week when that business operates.
I was quite pleased by the witness of our group as well as that of the other life-supporters from the community who were present. I saw among them no objectionable behavior, but a testimony in action which I respected. I plan to return next week, and every Saturday morning I am able, as long as I am here.
At the conclusion of an hour and a half of prayers we began to walk off as a group, but Father (rightly) took the moment to announce the birthday of the deacon (a great guy) who lives next door to me. We happily sang him happy birthday, in the early morning, on the sidewalk, at the corner, in front of that abortion clinic. Another birthday among our group was remembered, and we sang him happy birthday too.
Tonight, this event's profoundness proves too great for me to adequately explain.
Prayer in front of the clinic.
Kneeling on the sidewalk.
A Guided Tour
Friday, September 5, 2003, 9:35 PM
A DB (diocesan brother) of mine, from just across the hall, lent me his digital camcorder this evening. I took a few exterior still shots, then it ran out of photos. After downloading those images, I took a couple shots in my room, then the batteries ran out. Tonight, barring any further technical difficulties, I will share with you some images of seminary life. More photos should follow in the days to come.
The desk side of my room.
An eastern view from my window.
The desk side of my room happens to be more cluttered tonight then it has ever been before. That's fine though. It gives me more to comment about.
My shelves are mostly bare. On the lowest shelf in the picture you'll see crackers that I stowed away from dinner for a later snack. (Outside of meal times, all you can get is cereal, drinks, and fruits.) On the next shelf up is my Liturgy of the Hours book, with its telltale cloth bookmarks. Next to that is the family Bible I love so much. (It lays open in your lap, has footnotes and cross-references, and shows Jesus' words in red. What more could you ask for?) The next shelf up holds the book I am now greatly enjoying, The Story of a Soul, an autobiography by St. Thérèse of Lisieux (aka, the little flower). I'll tell you more about her another time.
Above my desk is my image of Our Lady of Guadalupe. These days I am increasingly devoted to the woman of that remarkable story. Below, on my desk, are my computer, my Catechism, a book of St. John Cardinal Newman's sermons (which are causing me some vexation at the moment), and in the distance is the book which should get me through Metaphysics, The One and the Many. My computer tower serves as a reminder board for my post-it notes.
On the right side of the picture, on the radiator, is a magnetic picture of my family. Above that is the window through which I took the second photo.
What's Your Occupation?
Thursday, September 4, 2003, 9:50 PM
In Luke 5:1-11, Jesus gets into the boat of his soon to-be apostles, tells them to go out into the deep waters and to put in their nets (odd, since one fishes in the shallows). They lower their nets, catch two boatloads of fish, and then leave everything to follow Jesus. Our Dean of Men, the one who "knocks" on your door if you oversleep, gave the homily this morning. This was his great observation: This is the best business day in these fishermens' lives. And what do they do? They quit their jobs.
When you try to do things your way, alone, you struggle. But in partnership with Jesus, your efforts are more fruitful and fulfilling then you have ever achieved by yourself. At that point, leaving your "line of work" to follow his lead is the most sensible thing you can do.
I got my hair cut today. It was much needed. There was so much hair on the floor at the end that I gave Serena a three dollar tip for shipping and handling. Upon reflection, I don't think she really knew what people do at a "seminary". From now on, I'm going to say, "I'm studying to become a priest," lest people think I work with animals.
G.K., What a Guy
Wednesday, September 3, 2003, 2:28 PM
Today I finished reading G.K. Chesterton, The Apostle of Common Sense. He is a remarkable figure. Though he lived from 1874 to 1936, the subjects of his writings are still current and his treatments of them are still strong.
He looked at the world in fresh, new ways:
"We should always endevour to wonder at the permanent thing, not the mere exception. We should be startled by the sun, not the eclipse. We should wonder less at the earthquake, and wonder more at the earth."
And he made his insights funny, too:
"The man who says, 'My country, right or wrong,' is like the man who says 'My mother, drunk or sober.'"
He wrote on the limits of bare reason:
"The madman is not the man who has lost his reason. The madman is the man who has lost everything except his reason."
"It is an act of faith to assert that our thoughts have any relation to reality at all."
And on the strength and truth of the Christian faith:
The Christian ideal has not been tried and found wanting. It has been found difficult; and left untried.
I hope to read much more from him in the future. I think he has much to teach me and I have much to learn. If you want to make my day, read something by Lewis or Chesterton, so we can talk about it.
Laudable, Audible Prayer
Tuesday, September 2, 2003, 11:20 PM
It's just now passing the ten o'clock hour and I'm a bit tired. Perhaps I could use a bit more sleep (I've averaged 7.25 hours over the past two days), but the real reason I'm fatigued...
[At this point, I enjoyed entended conversations with a succession of visitors who stopped by my door. I like to leave my door open. It helps keep me socially open.]
Anyway, as I was saying, the reason I'm tired this early in the evening is due to our early morning prayers. It's nice to rise before the sun though. It's dim and quiet outside, with a train horn that sounds each morning, neither near nor distant, to accompany my buzzer. The chapel, St. Joseph's, is beautiful too. A fine place to pray.
In college, my norm for bed was past 1:00 AM, but that won't work here. I have to be in the chapel by 6:45 on most days, though I tend to be down there well before that. 45 minutes of personal prayer and spiritual reading are followed by the group morning prayers, called Lauds. Lauds consists mostly of Psalms, different ones each day. We chant the sections alternately (first the right side sings, and then the left) to the tones of an impressive pipe organ. Chant, being rather intuitive to sing, brings the beauty of music to prayer without the distraction of sheet music. It greatly enhances the experience. As St. Augustine said, "When you sing you pray twice."
The Passion
Monday, September 1, 2003, 3:52 PM
Three times I have walked by the open doors of rooms on my floor and been drawn in by the familiar musical score of a preview for a movie many here are anticipating. Mel Gibson's The Passion, set for release in Lent of 2004. Gibson's involvement with Signs and We Were Soldiers made me initially optimistic about this film. Further coverage on the project by EWTN made me quite excited. Who can say how successful it will be at the box office (or the Academy Awards), but I think this is going to be a very important movie. Important within individual lives by faithfully depicting to our visual culture that what we so shallowly appreciate. The Passion.
Here is the movie preview. I hope your hardware can take it.
Here are two things to keep an eye out for:
"Ecce Homo" is Latin for "Behold the man." (Cf. John 19:5)
[The LORD God said to the serpent,] "I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and hers; He will strike at your head, while you strike at his heel." (Cf. Genesis 3:14-15)
Lies, Lies
Monday, September 1, 2003, 12:09 AM
The post of August 28th included a link to a purported satellite image of the East Coast blackout. Regrettably, this image is a hoax. Real satellite images of the blackout are far less cool.
While researching this I came across this great image of the entire world at night. It makes for an even better wallpaper than the hoax photo. Once bitten and twice shy, you may be wondering if this too is a doctored fake. Let me disclose that this image has been manipulated. How can I tell? The whole world isn't dark at the same time, silly. (Besides, the world is round.)
August 31st post also indicated my belief that my priest back home included a link to this blog in the weekly bulletin. However, we apparently missed the publishing deadline. It should show up next Sunday.
The author of Random Thoughts regrets these errors, but is pleased to report that he truly did enjoy a lengthy nap Sunday afternoon.
Read Last Month's Posts
|
|
