THE COMPLETE RULES OF THE ROAD FOR DRIVING IN GUATEMALA
©2003 by Ken McCormick

1.  If another motor vehicle is in front of you, you are required to pass it.  It does not matter that you are both traveling at twice the posted speed limit as it is, you must pass.  It does not matter if there is oncoming traffic, you must pass.

2.  If you are confronted by oncoming passing vehicles on your side of the road and there is a paved shoulder, you are required to pull onto the shoulder to make way for passing vehicles.  If there is no paved shoulder, then all involved are required to somehow work things out without rancor or worries.

3.  Two-lane paved roads have either a solid painted line down the middle, or a line of dashes.  The line of dashes indicates that you must pass immediately.  The solid line means pass with caution.

4.  Three-lane paved roads have no painted lines, and provide excellent passing opportunities.  Use care when weaving through oncoming traffic.

5.  Posted speed limits are suggested speeds for old ladies, but they do have the force of law for police cars.  If you find yourself behind a police car traveling at the speed limit, pass it.

6.  The driver of any passenger vehicle smaller than a minibus who allows himself to be passed by a chicken bus will receive a written warning for the first offense, and will have his driver’s license suspended for a period of six months for each subsequent offense.

7.  Slow down for stop signs.

8.  Speed limits in urban zones are determined by the space between speed bumps.  After passing a speed bump, you are required to proceed to the next speed bump with the pedal to the metal.  Drivers failing to put the pedal to the metal may be subject to a fine for obstructing traffic.

9.  No worries are permitted.  The driver is required to be carefree at all times except in cases of clear emergency.

10.  If anyone is broken down by the side of the road, stop to help.

11.  Vehicles equipped with functioning radios are required to pump up the volume.

12.  In case of accident, all parties are required to hide from police until they are able to engage legal representation.  Any driver found by police at the scene of an accident will be jailed without legal representation pending completion of the investigation of said accident, and before being released will be required to pay whatever amount in damages is demanded by the attorney or attorneys of any driver or drivers who had succeeded in hiding from police.