Headline from the Future: Holidays Made Illegal!
Written for North Texas Daily, 4/01 (unpublished)

I couldn't believe my eyes. The headline of the April 25, 2041 edition of the NT Daily read, "Supreme Court Rules Holiday Observance Unconstitutional."

The editorial read, "The Supreme Court ruled in favor of progress this morning by deciding the arcane, theocratic practice of 'holy-days' is unconstitutional."

The horribly written piece pontificated the "intolerance" of businesses, schools and government offices forcing its employees and customers to take a day off for a religious or patriotic holiday.

"What if an atheist wants to buy groceries on Christmas? She should have that right," read the editorial. "And what if a Democrat is ashamed of the right wing extremists who rebelled in the American Revolution? Must he sacrifice a day of the summer semester to satisfy greedy patriarchs?"

I slammed my fist on the surface of my holocube, causing the video image of my alma mater's newspaper to flicker rapidly. I waved the air mouse over to the "off" position and went for a drive in my trusty '78 Nova to see the old campus.

I was just sure I would be hauled in to jail today. Driving my car is an Earth Crime since it's not up to EPA specs. My premonition was dead-on right about a run-in with the law. But it wasn't my vehicle that incriminated me.

I found a place to park where the Willis Library once towered. I saw students standing outside of their classes holding union picket signs.

They were complaining about how the university should not discriminate against the illiterate and other "intelligence-challenged" youths. After all, president DiCaprio declared the first 4 years of college (excuse me, grades 13 through 16) a universal right.

I knew faculty/student relations would get tense when those glass jars appeared on podiums across campus, where students tipped their instructors for a short and easy class session. The students discovered the power of leverage and the instructors needed the spare change just to make ends meet.

It took me awhile to find the Daily office. I found it quite odd that the office would be situated in the center of the new Administration Dome.

I met the editor of the paper and shook her hand. She invited me to have a seat in the newsroom and share what was on my mind. All surrounding ears were on me as I expressed my misgivings about the editorial opinion.

Several of the writers agreed with me holidays ought to be recognized. However, the editor said she was not allowed to contradict the decision of the government because the paper receives federal funding.

But since 2030, every business and organization was required to accept funding! Who can fight back, I wondered.

I then responded, "And what about free speech, and the First Amendment?"

"We've misinterpreted Free Speech all along," she said. "The patriarchs meant to say it didn't cost anything to speak-- there was no opinion tax, in other words."

"You've got to be smoking crack," I said, poking fun at her revisionist belief.

To my sheer embarrassment, I saw a pound of cocaine stashed underneath the FCC media console in the corner of the office. I felt both outnumbered and embarrassed.

Such moral anarchy was no surprise to me-- posters advocating a comedy movie about bestiality lined the newsroom walls.

The room began to glow an electric blue, offsetting my red, blushing face. Two armed "hate patrol officers" entered the newsroom and tazed me into unconsciousness.

My eyes slowly opened to a stale, white room with no provisions. I had heard of this place before. This is where the put "extremists." I had dared to insult the almighty state/media conglomerate, and now I must pay the real price for free speech. It's a good thing the death penalty is illegal-- I'll have to give my socialist contemporaries some credit. However, criminals over the age of 60 have been euthanized in recent months.

I had plenty of time in that empty cell to contemplate what my generation did wrong. I had so many opportunities in my life to warn of the dangers of government control and the lessening of morality. But as a Christian and a Republican, I was considered "old-fashioned" and uncompassionate. My opponents criticized me for making "the slippery slope" logic error.

But as mighty civilizations such as the Roman Empire fell due to government dependency, greed and immorality, now falls my country. And with the United Nations occupying every nation's capital, there is no place for me to run.

Where did I go wrong? What didn't I say or do that could have helped prevent this mess? There was indeed a slippery slope. And we slid to the point of no return. If I could just go back.