My mother-in-law came to visit … and it posed an interesting point.
Many times in our lives we are faced with the dilemma of trying to comfort a friend while not hurting their feelings.
Has it ever happened to you that a friend asked ‘Why did she leave me?’… and you answer something like ‘She was on a journey and her voyage led her on to another path’. When what you want to say is ‘lets see... You were cheating on her, you smell funky and the only thing you two had in common was that you both breathe oxygen. You, however breathe it a lot louder then her’.
It’s never that simple though .. so what we do is… we just convert the blame.
It isn’t that he was cheating on her .. it was that she wasn't filling his needs.
It isn’t that he smells funky .. no it’s that she couldn't appreciate his natural qualities.
It isn’t that they had nothing in common .. it that she just didn’t take the time to seek out what was important to him.
Her friends will do the same thing .. until the blame and the cause has been shift and swayed and realigned to the point of being invisible. At least from a reality based point.
After a while no one really remembers who was to blame.
Each of the people involved will believe deep down that there is something wrong with them .. until their friends arrive and tell them that it has to be the other ones fault. It has to be.
.. remember my friend lost his girlfriend .. because she was on a journey and her voyage led her on to another path. Not ‘cause he’s a smelly, cheating, loser.

We blame others for what we see in the ones closes to us. We can't bring ourselves to be bare honest with the ones we love. I know all of you are saying . You should be honest with your friends even if it not what they want or need to hear. You’re right. But what if it’s our spouse or our children.
Do you tell your wife she needs to wear a wonder bra so that something other then her bellybutton sticks out in front of her ? No what we do is downplay the lacking .. we shift blame ..
We would never think of asking our wives to pad their bras... because we all know, we like small breast … right.
The fact is we don’t tell the ones closes to us the true .. and this confuses them.
They see their inadequacies .. but there we are telling them what we think they want to hear. And after a while … they start to think their inadequacies are ours .. they must be. … that’s what all their friend tell them.

Today my thoughts and my words will change the world Are you afraid ? I didn’t think so.