A Reason To Smile

He massages my feet.

My right foot at the moment, while my left rests easily against his stomach. I watch him across the landscape of bubbles as his thumbs knead my instep. His hands are soft and warm from the water. They wander upwards to caress my calf. His head dips slightly, and his tongue strokes the underside of my big toe. I must taste of soap, but he doesn’t appear to mind.

I watch as he seduces me. Such a gorgeous deception. His eyes casually inspect my features to catch my response. In a little while I’ll give it to him. Let my head fall back, pull my bottom lip between my teeth, draw surreptitious circles on his belly with my foot, release a breath that is half sigh, half moan.

But for now I watch him. He disgusts me - like I disgust myself at times. And I want him - I’ve had him and I’ll have him again. Repulse and attract. A perfectly logical contradiction of terms.

Captain’s log, Stardate ******. This evening I fucked Inspector Kashyk. I also violated seven different protocols when I used internal transporters to remove us both to my quarters so we could take a bath. All in the name of determining the inspector’s true loyalties, of course.

Now there is a log I am sorely tempted to make. I may be on a first name basis with those Admirals, but that doesn’t mean a part of me wouldn’t like to see a few of them keel over from a heart attack. I smile at that thought, and Kashyk returns the gesture automatically. No doubt imagining that I’m smiling at him.

But there are many ways to smile at someone. He’ll no doubt be gone soon enough. And the Brenari will be safe, along with my ship and crew. For now, though, his teeth graze over my second toe, as he suckles it gently.

And I just keep on smiling.

end

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