The year is 1996.
The place - the West Nile River in Egypt.
As local fishermen worked in the ports, they saw an English boat come in.
But this boat wasn't just any normal boat... it seemed to have an eerie presence. As the fishermen conversed, the son of one of the Nile fishermen was dealt to one of the English fishermen for some booze, and some marbles. As the boat sailed off into the sea, the boy soom found that it was lonely on the boat and on the vast sea, He soon befriended a gypsy, who was skilled in magic and sweeping. She had two possesions: A magic ball, and a garbage can with a snowman on it. Anyway, this boy soon found out this can, made of magical metals known as tin, was powerful. The lady told the boy that if he touched the can, he would feel metal, and he would be... doomed!!! Still, this small-town Egyptian was mesmorized by this can because it was blue, and that was his favorite color.
One night, when the gypsy was on the top deck tending to the sailors, the boy touched the can, and felt so nice, but it didn't do anything. Just as he was about to touch it again, a kid named Kelly Cool came down. He had this high voice, and as he was rambling, the boy took the can and smashed Kelly in the head with it. Kelly got knocked down and as he fell, the boat came ashore. The boy got off and went on to become a reporter for Channel 78 kid news in Eastern Jesus, Wisconsin. But Kelly Cool took that very can, that "doomed" can and named it the Garbage Can of Doom.
As this horrible excuse for an origin story comes to a close, that very can ended up in EJW, where the receiver of the first can shot, Kid Kelly Cool, resides as a manager. It is said that whenever someone uses that very can, the original gypsy owner has a child and sneezes at the same time.
Strange, isn't it?
Written by: Mike Rispoli