Prospectis

The president has just issued another executive order.

It simply states that: "Even though the 66-book Judeo-Christian Holy Bible is not specifically mentioned in The Constitution, and particularly in the First Amendment of such, everyone in general from our Founding Fathers on down have interpreted the Establishment and Non-Prohibition Clauses of the First Amendment to not establish anti-Christian religion while not prohibiting the free exercise of genuine Christian religion. Therefore, Christians shall henceforth be given - by all levels of government (including federal, state, county, and city jurisdictions) - special benefits above and against non-Christians. Those benefits and those benefitted shall not be deprived of such consideration either by legislative nor judicial involvement at any levels of government."

Unlike other relatively-secret provisions available from government, the president has ordered each person within the country with a social-security number to receive a mailed copy of that executive order, along with instructions and application intended especially for those who qualify. Those who do qualify must take their application to a notary public with identification to sign into the provisions.

Of course, those intending to participate have to establish their Christian credentials.

That includes some of the following:

GENERAL QUESTION:

"Do you believe that The HOLY BIBLE exists, and
that it plainly indicates that there actually was a person called Jesus Christ,
that He actually was born of a virgin woman,
that He actually did the miracles recorded in the Bible,
that He actually died on a cross,
that He actually became alive after that by resurrection,
and that He actually ascended up to Heaven.....according the the Bible?"


AUXILLARY QUESTION #1:

Do you have a copy of the King James Version Bible (without apocrypha)
and have a copy of the Revised Standard Version Bible (without apocrypha)
with you?
[Show them to me!].


AUXILLARY QUESTION #2:

Do you.....

Hate sexist feminism, sexist feminists, and their supporters?
Hate homosexuality, homosexuals, and their supporters?
Hate abortion, abortionists, and their supporters?
Hate evolution, evolutionists, and their supporters?
Hate porn, traffickers in the production and sale of pornography, and their supporters?
Hate atheism, atheists, and their supporters?
Hate cultism, cultics, and their supporters who disagree with The HOLY BIBLE?

AUXILLARY QUESTION #3:

Do you agree with the following posting
placed at the entrance of commercial establishments:


NO SHAWLS
NO SLEEVES
NO SLACKS
NO SOCKS
NO SERVICE!


AUXILLARY QUESTION #4:

When in general heterosexual public view, do you:

Always:

Wear long hair (if you have it) tied up in a chignon (bun/pug),
or tied back in a ponytail
Wear long sleeves
Wear long skirts or long trousers/slacks, and
Wear socks with shoewear?


Benefits are numerous for authentic Christians, and are federally mandated and managed by the transdenominational church-state-integrated FDCF (Federal Department of Christian Affairs) and the CFPA (Christian Federal Protection Agency). Both have superior jurisdiction and authority over all other departments and agencies of the federal government. Those benefits involve and include:

1. LAW ENFORCEMENT

The CFPA is a law-enforcement agency comprised of an elite force of special secret service, federal marshalls, and military police - which force has superior jurisdiction over all state, county, and city law-enforcement officers.

2. HOUSING

All certified Christians who are first-time home buyers can use their FFTHBG (Federal First-Time Home Buyers Grant) to pay for all expenses relating to purchase of their first home (including cost of the home itself). Whatever lakeshore or other residential property certified Christians purchase from any realtor, that property is henceforth automatically re-zoned as a CPFH (Christian Permanent Federal Homestead) and thus is tax-free (not tax-exempt) from all federal, state, and local taxes (including property tax). Thus, it is even more valuable and secure than federal indian reservations or cemeteries. It is free from all eschelons of assessors and inspectors, except those of the FDCF and CFPA. Included is full reimbursement for annual housing insurance.

3. TRANSPORTATION

All certified Christians can use the FFTEVPG (Federal First-Time Electric-Vehicle Purchase Grant) to fully pay for a new 4-passenger, all-season, all-battery, electric vehicle with no fees required for initial and annual registration nor for initial and annual license plates.
Given to every certified Christian is a FVFC (Federal Vehicle Fuel Card) and FVRC (Federal Vehicle Repair Card). Presentation of the FVFC to any service station nationally automatically pays for any vehicle fuel purchased, and presentation of the FVRC to any repair servicer automatically pays for any vehicle repair or towing expense. Vehicle insurance premiums are paid for by the FVIA (Federal Vehicle Insurance Account) possessed by each certified Christian.

4. UTILITIES

Whether propane, heating oil, gas, or electric.....all heating and air-conditioning utility expenses are covered by an FUPA (Federal Utilities Payment Account) issued to all certified Christians. Also provided by the FUPA is full payment for water and sewer, phone, and garbage collection bills.

5. GROCERIES

All grocery expenses are paid for with the FGPC (Federal Groceries Payment Card) issued to every certified Christian. Restaurant dining expenses are covered by the FRPC.

6. LEGAL

Lawsuits (environmental, traffic, criminal, and civil) are handled by federal agents of the Christian Federal Protection Agency.

7. MEDICAL

All medical expenses (except pharmaceuticals and checkups) are paid for with the FMIA (Federal Medical Insurance Account) of each certified Christian. Those include (but are not limited to) payments for CAT Scans, MRIs, X-rays, same-gender surgery and dental products/services, eyewear, hearing aids, ambulatory assistors, same-sex obstetrics and midwife childbirth facilitation, full hospitalization plus home health care.