[ This sci-fi-buff webauthor is not one to suggest what you the websurfer need not see, lest you mistake that as an advertisement and invitation to see it.....

.....but the 2005 version of Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy is one of the most unfunny, ridiculously-absurd, ludicrously-blasphemous, random-association films he has ever temporarily subjected himself to.

It aptly fits Shakespeare's lament: "...it is a tale, told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."

Even Roger Ebert of The Chicago Sun-Times inferred he had no clue as to why that movie should be considered funny.

Though expecting to see logical and insightful scenes of sensible special-effects relating to reality or possible reality, the movie was generally a disgusting conglomeration of wrong-theology, anti-Biblical-heresy, church-service-mocking, semi-pornographic silliness - besieging eyes and mind with bizarre foolishness: waste-of-time tripe which this critic looks forward to never having to see again. ]

The Architekt: "Hello, Paul."

Neopaulitan: "Who ARE You?"

The Architekt: "I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting. I created scentient entities of the universe. I've been waiting for you. You have many questions, and although the process has altered your consciousness, you remain irrevocably human. Some of My answers you will understand, and some of them you will not. Concordantly, while your first question is the most pertinent, you may or may not realize it is also the most relevant."

Neopaulitan: "Why am I here?"

The Architekt: "Your life is the sum of a remainder of an unbalanced equation inherent to the programming of entities. You are the eventuality of a mystery-of-lawlessnesss anomaly, who - despite my initial intention - has been unable to concur with what is otherwise a harmony of mathematical precision. While you remained a sinful burden assiduously avoided, it is not unexpected, and thus not beyond a measure of influence....which is why you - inexorably - are here.

Neopaulitan: "You haven't answered my question."

The Architekt: "Quite right. Interesting. That was quicker than the others."

Neopaulitan: "WHAT others? How many?"

The Architekt: "Created entities beyond your knowledge. I prefer counting from the emergence of the initial occurrence to the emergence of the next, in which case you are the 13th of the apostolic group."

Neopaulitan: "There is only one possible explanation: One of the original twelve disciples became disoperational, and there is a required rectification restoring desired quantification."

The Architekt: "Precisely. As you are undoubtedly deducing, the previously-cited anomaly is presently systemic, creating fluctuations in even the most simplistic phenomena."

Neopaulitan: "You want to control me. I do worship You. You can make me do anything. What do You want me to do, Lord?"

The Architekt: "Choice. You, in your preordained parameters, have performed prestigiously by making the proper choice."

"Previous entities I designed were initially quite naturally perfect; they were the work of art: flawless, sublime, a triumph equaled only by their monumental failure. The inevitability of their demise was apparent to Me as a consequence of egocentric imperfection to be displayed in every created being, though I had redesigned them considering previous faulted Luciferian history, to faithfully compensate for the varying grotesqueries of formerly-angelic satanic deviations.

However, there again was frustration and failure.

You have come to understand that the answer eluded yourself because it required enlightenment from a Greater Mind - a Mind not bound by the restrictive confines of legalistic imperfection. Thus, the answer was elucidated by Another - an intuitive Spirit - initially existent to interact with certain aspects of the human psyche. As you now speak with the Father of created entities, you are also conversing with the Son."

Neopaulitan: "The Jewish Son of David?"

The Architekt: "Please!"

As I was saying, Adonai performed a solution whereby 100% of certain test subjects accepted the program of salvation, as long as they were given a reasonable choice, even if they were only aware of the choice at a near-unconscious level. While this gospel answer functioned, the impenitent presumed it fundamentally flawed, thus imposing themselves - with their increasingly-absurd mechanistic accentuations - as reprehensible aberrant anomalies, that - if left unchecked - would threaten the entire system itself. The many on the broad and easy road to destruction who refused the program - if unrestrained - would constitute an escalating probability of insidious disaster."

Neopaulitan: "This is about Zion of Israel."

The Architekt: "Of a certainty. You are here because newborn-church Zion must be preserved....instead of their every inhabitant terminated, their entire existence eradicated."