By Matt Forge

GREENVILLE, Mississippi (FP) -- Democratic presidential hopeful John F. Kerry made a startling announcement yesterday. What he is proposing not only defies the laws of logic, but would also defy the laws of physics as well.

Here's what he told the American Urban Radio Network Monday: "President Clinton was often known as the first black president. I wouldn't be upset if I could earn the right to become the first inverted one."

Kerry was immediately slapped upside the head and kicked out of the studio. But this reaction is not reflected by some people. Those who break state laws, as well as evolutionary scientists who deny observed natural laws with their own theories, are said to have warmed up to the idea of an inverted president.

"That would be way cool," said an unidentified college student. "I mean, were talking major bling here!" Half of the unidentified students on campus agreed with the first unidentified student. The other half were too busy running around trying to get a glimpse of William Hung, the first inverted American Idol.

Can he do it?