By Matt Forge

BAGHDAD, Iraq - War opponents are dismissing the artillery shell discovered in Iraq on Saturday containing an estimated three or four liters of the deadly nerve agent sarin as an actual WMD find. The reason for the rejection of this find lies in the claim that there wasn't enough of it to qualify as an actual WMD - the primary reason cited for the invasion of Iraq.

John F. Kerry, the rich Democratic Presidential hopeful, gave the case for the "non-find" on the Today show earlier in an interview with the rich Katy Couric and rich Matt Lauer (though both not nearly as rish as Kerry). "Everyone knows," began Kerry. "Yes, break it down for us, John," interrupted Lauer. "Talk to us, big guy," followed Katy." "Everyone knows," repeated Kerry after being thrown off of his rhythm for a moment, "that there would eventually be some nerve agents and poison gas found."

"We did? I mean... we did. Exactly!" exclaimed Laur with eyes wide open pointing at John. "Talk to us some more, big guy," followed smiling Katy with her eyes also bulging in excited anticipation. "But what was found Saturday was not enough to justify the occupation of that peaceful land by our sadistic troops." "Yes!" blurted Matt. "Yes!" cheered the perky princess.

"Everyone also knows," stammered a slightly thrown-off-balance, but still rich, Kerry while shuffling through his notes, "that we should have found stockpiles of the stuff. To justify our invasion we should have found factories still producing it in mass quantities. Although this was never demanded exactly, it was obviously understood. This is known as the silent 'M' factor."

The Today couple just sat there looking puzzled. Kerry stared back at them for a while. John finally broke the awkward silence after finding his place in his notes. "The WMD acronym being loosely and irresponsibly thrown around has a silent 'M' at the front of it which stands for, as the other 'M' does -- Mass. It's really MWMD's, or Mass Weapons of Mass Destruction."

Matt and Katy exploded in excitement jumping up and down hand-in-hand gawking at each other on the set's thousand dollar couch yelling, "Yes! Yes! Yes!" John consequently took a sip of his Perrier with lime twist. The happy couple eventually sat back down and took a few moments to catch their breath. Matt pointed at Kerry again and said, "Exactly! Mass Weapons of Mass Destruction are what's needed! Exactly!" "Whew!" sighed Katy.

Kerry continued, "Even though a little drop, in the binary form, on your skin will kill you, it's not enough that we found nearly a gallon of it in an artillery shell that blew up in a failed attempt to kill American soldiers and innocent peace-loving Iraqis. Everyone knows that it doesn't really count unless we find a buried tanker, or maybe a whole fleet of buried tankers, filled to the brim with the stuff."

"You're right once again, John," said Lauer. "We all in the media knew about the silent 'M' in WMDs. Didn't we Katy?" "That's right, Matthew." "But for those simple laypeople out there across America who don't know any better," continued Lauer, "we're going to have to start pronouncing it as MWMDs so that they know exactly what it means. Thanks for setting the record straight John, as you always do, and good luck on the campaign trail."

"Think nothing of it," answered Kerry. When the interview ended, they all stood up with Matt attempting to hug Kerry who swiftly brushed him aside so as not to wrinkle the Armani. Kerry's move was based on the silent 'DCMYFP' (Don't Contaminate Me You Filthy Peasant) syndrome.