Episode 1: Prelude to War.

A plot to steal immigrants from Earth goes horribly wrong!

(A shuttle flies through space @ high-speed)

Sally Po: My name is Water; I fight for peace and justice in the Universe! Target Confirmed!

(Looks at the sensor screen)

Sally Po: Oh dear lord, Neo Titanium! When did they get this, why am I speaking to myself!

(Meanwhile)

Duo: We don’t need Gundams anymore, everyone decided to be a ninny and follow that damned Relena’s pacifist ways.

Quatre: I love your Sandrock!

(Quatre kisses and hugs Sandrock)
Duo: Uhh right. Lets send these babies into the Sun instead of just self-detonating them here, that way incase some insane army planning to re-start Operation meteor attacks, we can always go and get them.

Quatre: Right

Duo: Why didn’t Wufei send his?

Quatre: (shrugs)

(Again Meanwhile)

Narrator: Hello. I. Am here to. Say this part. Takes place on. MO-2. But you. Have never heard. Of it.

Lady Une: One year ago I was enjoying the suffering and fighting that took place in war, now its all peace and love.

(Lady Une growls)
President: The thing called war took many lives, but they did not die for no reason. For we can benefit from their deaths!

Noin: What a stupid President, he doesn’t even realize with peace there will be no war.

Lady Une: Oh he knows, or else he would not given us, the Preventers, Gigantic Robots to fight against war.

(Sally comes on screen)

Sally: There’s quite a possibility that if you examine the zodiac, the robot made from special titanium is the 13^th star sign.

(Sally and Une both turn around)

Noin: What the hell are your talking about?

Lady Une: Blasphemy!

Sally: Guys, remember, the mission?

Noin: Oh ya.

Narrator: Meanwhile, on a colony.

Man 1: This colony was only finished 7 years ago! We shall steal all of the immigrants from Earth in order to increase our shitty economy! (laughs insanely)
Relena: The problem may be that your citizens need to be aware.

Man 1: We don’t have any citizens though…

Relena: (ignoring him) You must tell them that they have nothing to fear because the pacifist United Earth Nation will protect them.

Man 1: But, we need people to tell them that.

Relena: (ignoring him) Have nothing to fear, for your concerns shall be noted.

Man 1: Argh!
(Relena leaves)
Man 1: Foolish pacifist, soon, we shall steal all of the Earth’s immigrants and be populated once again.

Man 2: We have all the cards. (Laughing insanely)

Man 1: We do…uhhh.

(Man 2 continues laughing)

Man 1: Right (laughing insanely)

Dekim: Shutup both of you!

(Man 1 and 2 stop)
Dekim: Only I may laugh!

(Man 1 and 2 nod)
Dekim: Foolish Relena, do you not realize without war their will not be fighting and suffering!

Mariemaya: The fools, we shall teach them!

Dekim: Yes, yes we shall.

Mariemaya: I will give my father: Trieze Kushrenada’s Christmas present to them! I will drop a colony on the Earth he fought so hard to protect from the tyranny and evil of the White Fang. How’s that for teenage rebellion!!! (Laughing insanely)

(Fade to black)

(Catherine is throwing knives at Trowa, who is desperetly trying to move into the path of the knife)

Catherine: How come we are doing this for no won?
Trowa: (Shrugs)

Trowa: Wait I remember!

(FLASHBACK)

Real Trowa: Hello No Name. I’m going to let you in on our top-secret plot to take over the Earth, want to hear?

Trowa: Sure.

Real Trowa: Okie. Well first we are going to drop colonies on it, then my sister will rule the world! (Laughing insanely)

Trowa: Oh really.

(Trowa pulls out a gun and shoots Real Trowa)
Real Trowa: Your identity is mine.

(END FLASHBACK)

(In a space shuttlecraft)

Heero: (in robotic voice) Mariemaya, daughter of Leia Barton, father unknown. Target: Kill Mariemaya. Mission Accepted.

Duo: What the? So Trowa has a niece eh?
Heero: Remember, Trowa just killed the real Trowa and took his name.

Duo: Oh ya, I guess I just forgot that to remind the viewers.

Heero: I guess, anyways I’m busy. Relena’s on a transport heading to MO-2. I must kill her.

Duo: Well well, look whose got the crush.

(Heero bonks Duo on the head.

(Meanwhile, in the secret lair of the enemies)

Dekim: Soon, the human race will be at war once again!

(Dekim furiously throws hand motions everywhere)

Dekim: I would like to thank you all for enduring the last year without war; it truly has been a great feat.

Dekim: But before we cause more suffering and begin our top-secret plan, we must decide the fate of this man.

(Trowa steps forward in chains.)

Wufei: Trowa…

Trowa: Wufei…

Wufei: You will let him go our I will destroy you like ants with Nataku.

(In the background)
Soldier 1: Hey, why the hell do we have to fight? The Gundam could takeover the Earth by itself.

Solder 2: (shrugs)

(Back with the Preventers)

Sally: This is Water; I am calling you via the secret channel via 79.564.

Noin: Fire here, so Sally Po what have you got?

Sally: I have somehow discovered a secret transmission coming from L-3

Noin: Can you pinpoint it?

Sally: Yes, its coming from the colony with the long number we were talking about before.

Noin: Marie Maya Barton?

Sally: Yes.

Noin: As I feared, soon, war will erupt and the Barton Foundation will be able to carry out its sinister plot.

Sally: Oh and like Relena’s missing too.

Noin: (shrugs)

(In Marie Maya’s secret hideout)

Marie Maya: Wake up woman! (Slaps Relena)

Relena: What the hell? Heero. Oh never mind…. Hey, did they capture you too?

Marie Maya: Of course not foolish brat, I ordered your capture and soon torture

Relena: NOOO!

Marie Maya: Oh yes, I shall now reveal my sinister plot!

Relena: NOOO!
Marie Maya:..

Relena: NOOOO! You monster! Heero will stop you!

Marie Maya: Queen Relena I haven’t even said anything.

Relena: No I won’t talk, I must feel confident that Heero will save me!

Marie Maya; Uhh yes, well its like this, I’m like Trieze’s daughter and well I’m going to destroy Earth, so I’m carrying out his wishes because well like he protected Earth.

Relena: What the hell?

Marie Maya: Silent Insolent dog! (Smacks Relena)

(A soldier runs in)

Soldier: IS everything all right?
Marie Maya: Perfect. Go fetch me father’s horse whip (looks at Relena and smirks wide)

Relena (wide-eyed)

(Back with Duo and Heero)

Heero: We have worked so hard for peace.

Duo: Yea, so hell, someone’s going to have to defend it, right?

(Heero is daydreaming)

Duo: Uh, Heero. You listen the hell up!

Duo: Its me Duo! The God of Death is here, would you wake up.

Duo: Come on, its me! Please!

(FLASHBACK)
Heero: What are you doing?

Little Girl: What the f*** do you think I’m doing you f***in moron.

Heero: Mission Accepted (presses a SD switch)

[Wing Explodes]

Little Girl: What the f***

(2^nd Flashblack)

Dr J: Do you intend to make the Gundams weapons of mass murder?

Man: #1 NO shit you moron.

Dr J: I cannot allow this

Man #2: Too bad old man

Dr J: Do you think Heero Yuy would be happy if we destroyed the human race?

Man #1: Your talking about a guy who was raised for the sole purpose of piloting this Gundam in this Operation.

Dr J: Shutup.

(Back to reality)

Duo: Hey Heero, I’m still here! Whistles

(Duo jumps around, making faces and such)

[Heero wakes up]

Heero: I will kill you.

Duo: ………

Heero: I mean, that little girl is going to say something important.

(Marie Maya comes on a screen)

Marie Maya; Resistance is futile. We are the colony with the long name. Your immigrants will be assimilated.

Duo: It would seem her intentions are hostile.

[Heero gives Duo a foolish face]

(Back with the Preventers]

Noin: Its that little brat!

Sally: Oh no!

Marie Maya: Humanity has been deemed worthy of destruction, your immigrants shall be assimilated..

Noin: Her intentions are hostile, dear god!

[On Earth]

President: You bitch! You said this would not happen, I had dinner with the models of maxim tonight too.

Lady Une: I am sorry Mr.President but your unwillingness to fork over enough cash for our budget has limited our defenses.

[Zechs walks in, totally random]

Zechs Merquise: It is I Zechs! The Ultimate Soldier! Ah ha ha! I live! Again I wish to change my name for no reason, my name will be Wind!

Lady Une: Zechs, dear god your alive!

Wind: I must put out the flame for I am the ultimate soldier! Ah ha ha!

[Zechs runs off]

President: Who the hell was that?

[Back with Duo and Heero]

Duo: Are we there yet?
Heero: No.

Duo: Are we there yet?

Heero: No.

Duo: Yay were here! So how are we going to get in?
Heero: We could use a mobile suit and blast our way in!

Duo: I like it!

Heero: But we’d probably be shot down.

Duo: Shit.

Heero: Maybe we could force our way in?
Duo: I like it!

Heero: You’re an idiot.

Duo: Same to you.

Sally: Duo, Heero go away! You are useless without your Gundams.

Duo: Actually, it wasn’t actually our Gundams that were invincible it was because we are the main characters and teen heart throbs, if we die the show will lose ratings and go off the air.

Heero; I will kill you.

All: …

Duo: Yea so lets blast them to hell!

[Duo and Heero launch out in Leos, somehow the Leo’s gain the ability of invincibility and punch through hundreds of other Leos]

Duo: Take that and go back to hell!

[Slashes a beam saber in no particular direction]

Noin: Good work.

Duo: Don’t be late for the party, it is going to be one hell of a bash!

Noin: Shutup.

[Meanwhile]

Quatre: Man weren’t we lucky, if we had just destroyed our Gundams by self-detonation we would never have this chance to stop the Marie Maya army.

Rasheed: Don’t worry Quatre, we are with you 100%

Quatre: Thank you. Soon I shall be rejoined with my true love.

Rasheed: Trowa?

Quatre: (sighs) No, the spirit of Sandrock!

Auda: Of course Master Quatre.

Quatre; Silence dog [whips Auda]

Auda [whimpers]

[Back at the colony with the really long name]

Duo: Man I can’t believe how stupid we were, how the hell did they hide all these suits from us?
Heero: [shrugs]

[Suddenly a new mobile suit turns the corner and begins firing at Duo]

Duo: Wait a minute, I know who you are! Yes even though I have not ever heard you or seen you I know you are the missing gundam pilot; Trowa Barton!

Unknown: No I’m not.

[They engage in combat, Duo is damaged badly]

Duo: Damn you to hell!!

Duo: Your Trowa aren’t you!

Unknown Pilot: OF course not.

Duo: Yes, yes you are! Liar Liar, pants on fire!

Unknown Pilot: I am rubber you are glue, what you say to me bounces off me and sticks on you.

Duo [gasps]

[Heero turns the other corner and finds none other than Wufei, in his Altron]

Wufei: I always wanted to fight you Heero.

Heero: Mission Accepted. I will kill you.

Wufei: Tell me something Heero, Are you in the right?
Heero: What?

Wufei: Answer me! Are you in the Right?

Heero: Uhh whatever.

Wufei: Choose, yes or no!

Heero: (hesitantly) …..yes?

Wufei: You lose!

[Wufei charges Heero and easily defeats him]

Wufei: [yawn] Didn’t you forgot that the invincibility of the Gundam plus the invincibility of me overtakes only the invincibility of you!

Heero: Damn you.

[Insert Japanese music here. Fighting begins.]

Narrator: I. Am back. Marie Maya and. The. Barton Foundation. Continued. With their. Devious plot. To. Steal the. Immigrants. From Earth. Would they succeed? Probably not.

[END EPISODE 1]