Episode 3:
The Gundams ReturnDekim’s plot to steal all the immigrants from Earth is in its final stages, having taken over the President’s Impenetrable Fortress of Doom, they then proceeded into the final stage. However, as this is happening the Gundams return to Earth.
Marie Maya; Activate the impenetrable Fortress of Doom!
Soldier 1: Gate 1 Closed, Gate 2 Closed, Gate 10 Closed, Gate 6 Closed. Impenetrable fortress of Doom activated.
Marie Maya: (looks at Relena and laughs) What are the odds I’d find such a great place, the rent is only $400/month
Relena: Wow, whose your landlord?
Marie Maya: Some British guy.
Mr.Peanut: (in the background)[laughing his ass off and counting money]
[FLASHBACK]
Wufei: But Master you can’t drop the colony on Earth!
Master O: I must.
Wufei: But the combined invincibility factor of me and Nataku can defeat OZ single-handedly!
Master O: Oh, ok then.
[END FLASHBACK]
Wufei: He’s here. How I know this. I do not know.
[AT DUO’s CELL]
Duo: It is time.
[Duo somehow breaks his chains and to make matters worse, he can even knock down titanium reinforced doors]
Duo: The God of Death is back from hell!
Soldier: It’s it’s a g-g-g-gundam pilot! AAAH
[All the soldiers run away]
Duo: Well that was nice of you [runs to a shuttle where Trowa is waiting]
Duo: Thanks for waiting.
Trowa: I wasn’t.
Sally: [enters] All the immigrants have been saved, We can leave now.
[At Heero and Wufei’s fight]
Wufei: JUSTICE
Heero; I will kill you!
Wufei: Must fight for JUSTICE!
Heero: The war is over, the only thing left to do is kill Relena.
Wufei: You can’t just disregard me like a rag! JUSTICE
Heero: Zero is not showing me anything
Wufei: Hun?
[Wing Zeero’s engines turn off and it falls lifeless into the water.]
Wufei: Ummm ok.
[ON EARTH]
Noin: Zechs the fortress is impenetrable
Wind: We must try!
Noin: But Zechs, I love you.
[Wind manipulates the pullies and levers and slowly the Tallgeese’s arm raises and it readies to fire its cannon, suddenly the steam stops pumping and the Tallgeese falls lifeless.]
Lightning Count: Damn I need more steam!
Random Guy: Yes Colonel Zechs
[begins shoveling coal into the foot of the Tallgeese, it starts up again and Zechs manipulates the pullies and pumps a steel ball into the cannon, shoving in the gunpowder he is ready to fire]
Milliardo Peacecraft: Feel the power of the Tallgeese!
[The Tallgeese fires a steel ball which hits a Serpent’s leg and makes a loud clang, the Serpent trips and falls over, knocking down another Serpent which loses control and fires its missiles, blowing up 20 Serpent around it.]
Zechs Merquise: Take that Evil doers!
Milliardo Peacecraft: My hands are stained with blood, forgive me father!
Wind: Must stop war.
Lightning Count: Must stop peace.
Noin: Zechs, you have multiple personality disorder.
Zechs: I’m afraid its true my love…..
[dramatic music, the two mobile suits embrace, Tallgeese picks up Noin’s Taurus and readies a kiss]
[Zechs suddenly drops the Tallgeese and it crashes into the ground below]
Zechs: No time now, will have sex later. Must kill!
[Zechs manipulates the ropes and levers and lurches the Tallgeese forwards towards the enemy Serpents]
[Quatre has arrived over Earth, Trowa and Duo retrieve their Gundams which have been upgraded for some reason. Nowon seems to notice.]
Quatre: Trowa!
Trowa: (nods)
Quatre: I’ll dream of you when we are fighting.
Trowa: (nods)
Duo: Lets get out of this HELL-hole.
[Quatre lands on Earth and slices two Serpents head’s off]
Quatre; You too are amazing, all this fighting and you didn’t kill a single soldier
Zechs: [while twisting his beam sword through the cockpit of a Serpent, the pilot screams] Uhhh yea.
Noin: ….. Whatever you say Quatre.
[Heavyarms lands and fires off over 150 missiles]
Trowa: I am so skillfull that each of those missiles will hit one mobile suit and not even kill the pilot! Ah ha! Thanks DeVry!
Duo: [lands in Deathscythe and slices in no particular direction]
Quatre: [slices a suit in half] I’m sorry. [turns and slices another suit] Forgive me!
Trowa: Oh no… I’m out of ammo, what are the odds.
Soldier 1: Get him!
Soldier 2: Yea1
Quatre: No!! Trowa! I’ll save you.
[the two Serpents are continuously firing at the Heavyarms but it is undamaged]
Trowa: Damnit, kill me faster!
Soldier 1: DIE! DIE! DIE!
Soldier 2: WE SHALL STOP YOU! YOU BASTERD
[Sandrock jumps infront of Heavyarms and slices the Serpents in half.]
Quatre: I saved you my love!
Trowa; Argh! Can’t you see I was trying to die.
Quatre: [confused]
Trowa: Forget it [opens the cockpit of his gundam and runs out] Hey Serpents! SHOOT ME!
Quatre: NOO!
[All the Serpents shoot at Trowa, the bullets all somehow miss, making a bullet mark outline around him.
Trowa: (grabs his face with his hands) GOD DAMNIT!
Quatre: [slices the mobile suits in half]
[IN A TOWN SQUARE}
Random Guy: We must fight back.
Random Guy 2: Hey look, that girl has starched eyebrows!
Dorothy: You must fight back.
Random Guy 3: I shot down 5 Leos in the war!
Dorothy: I have arranged transportation, go and fight back.
All: (Cheer as they run onto the truck)
[MEANWHILE]
[The Wing ZERO Flies up high above the impenetrable fortress of Doom.[
Heero; I will kill all of you.
All in Fortress: ……
Relena: Heero! I LOVE YOU!
[Heero gets a crazy look in his eye, he pulls out the Twin buster rifle and fires continuously at the fortress, until the force and energy of the blasts rip the Wing Zero apart and it crashes on the ground below, causing an explosion that destroys all the mobile suits guarding the base.]
[In the fire a humanoid figure walks out from the wreckage, unharmed and unscathed Heero finds a secret passage into the fortress]
Heero: ah ha! They forgot I am invincible.
[Back at the battlefield]
Soldier 1: I will make sure Dekim is able to steal the immigrants of Earth!
[The Serpent fires missiles continuously at Trowa]
Trowa: (yawn, while reading a book)
Soldier 1: Oh come on, I would give my life for Dekim!
Trowa: That’s nice.
[Wufei is standing with a crowd of people around him]
Wufei: I said "DO YOU HAVE THE RIGHT"
Marie Maya Soldier; WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!
The Crowd; DO YOU HAVE THE RIGHT!
Dekim: How can this be, foiled by the invincible Gundam pilots! DAMN!
[At the Impenetrable Fortress of Doom]
[Heero enters, Marie Maya is torturing Relena]
Heero: (cheers and pulls out a dentists drill set)
Soldier 1: it’s a g-g-g-gundam pilot!
Marie Maya; Stop him! He’ll ruin everthing!
Heero: Actually no I wasn’t.
[All the soldiers begin firing, naturally they all miss Heero and he manages to kill them all.]
Relena: You came to save me Heero!
Heero: Actually no I didn’t I came to kill you.
Relena: I can read your subliminal messages like a book.
[Falls into Heero’s arms, Heero doesn’t even move and Relena falls to the floor]
Dekim: Now you die! I Shall steal all the immigrants from Earth
Heero [shoots Dekim with ease and kicks Relena]
Heero: When will you learn that the working class can not be stolen from their adopted country. The immigrants all come to new countries to live in peace and sanity. But you Dekim, took that one step too far. For that you are dead and the immigrants are all saved.
Relena: I love you Heero
[The two almost embrace for a kiss but suddenly, Relena’s eyes widen and she falls dead a knife in her stomach.]
Heero; And now I take my life, for that little girl I have killed so many times [drinks poison and dies]
Random Soldier: What the hell?
[In a barren field]
Duo: Bye bye Gundams.
Quatre: I love you Sandrock!
Trowa: (on top of the Deathscythe) Ok press the switch now!
Duo: You’re the boss.
Quatre: NO TROWA! (runs and grabs him, running away just before the blast engulfs the Gundams)
Quatre: I love you Trowa:
Trowa: God damnit, you f***in basterd, I just wanna f***in die in peace but your f***in q**** keep saving me, for god’s sake stop f***in saving me! {starts beating the crap out of Quatre}
Duo: I love happy endings. (gives a thumbs up and a smile, his teeth shine)
[Another Barren Field]
Wufei: Goodbye Nataku, I had no right to pilot you.
Nataku: That’s f***in right, now blow me up and be done with it.
(Wufei presses the self-detonation switch and Nataku explodes)
[Back at the Battle]
[The Tallgeese lurches forwards, steam puffs from its smoke stacks and Zechs laughs insanely inside the cockpit]
Zechs: FINALLY I HAVE REACHED THE IMPENETRABLE FORTRESS OF DOOM!
Noin: The battle is over.
Zechs: Yes, so it is. I, the Ultimate Soldier turned the tide of the battle with the Tallgeese!
Noin: Actually, no you didn’t, the gundams won the battle.
Zechs: Yes, won.
Noin: Uhh Zechs.
[Meanwhile]
Rasheed: Well this is it boys.
Auda: I always loved you.
Rasheed: (blushing) Hold me.
[The interplanetary transports incinerates in the sun, the Maguanacs along with it]
Narrator: After Colony. One. Nine. Six. Peace is back. Evil is. Dead. The Gundams. Gone. We win. The End. Bye.
And so the Gundam Wing saga ends, Relena is finally dead at the hands of Heero who took his own life for unknown reasons. Trowa, finally about to die was saved by Master Quatre who he then proceeded to beat up. The Maguanacs died as well. Everyone is dead.