Two guys walk into a bar and sit
down at a table. The barkeep comes over to them and asks,
"What can I serve you gentlemen?" One of them says to
the barkeep,
"I'll bet you a pitcher of you finest beer that I can lick
my eye."
The barkeep says, "I've had guys come in here that could
lick their nose but never have I ever seen one that could lick
his eye. I'll take that bet." So the guy reaches up, pulls
out his glass eye, licks it, and puts it back in his eye socket.
The barkeep says, "Damn, you got me." He brings the
guys a pitcher of beer and goes about tending the bar. When that
pitcher starts to get low the barkeep comes back and asks,
"Are you gentlemen ready for another?"
The same guy answers, "I'll bet you another pitcher of your
finest beer that I can bite my ear."
The barkeep hesitates for a moment and looks at the guy's
left ear, his right ear, and says, "There's no way you've
got an artificial ear. I'll take that
bet." The guy reaches up, pulls out his false teeth, bites
his ear with them, and puts them back in
his mouth. The barkeep says, "Damn, you got me again."
He brings the guys another pitcher
of beer and goes about tending the bar.
A little later the betting guy is drunk, gets up and staggers
over to the bar and lays a $100 bill on the bar saying,
"I'll bet you a hundred that I can pee and fill 10 shot
glasses lined up on the bar with their rims touching without
spilling a drop on the bar from 3 feet away."
The barkeep says, "It'll be worth $100 to see that so I bet
you can't do it." He puts his
own $100 on the bar, lines up 10 shot glasses and steps back.
The drunk whips it out and pees all over the shot glasses, the
bar, and the floor. The barkeep picks up the two $100 bills, gets
out his towel and starts to wipe it up. He then notices the drunk
is smiling and says, "I just made $100 so I'm smiling, you
just lost $100, why are you smiling?"
The drunk says, you see they guy over there I've been drinking
with all this time? I just bet him $1,000 that I could come over
here, pee all over the bar, and that you'd wipe it up with a
smile on your face.