Husband &Wife - Death Bed

From his death bed, the husband called his wife and said, "One month after

I die I want you to marry Samy." "Samy! But he is your enemy!"

"Yes, I know that! I've suffered all these years so let him suffer now,"

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Husband &Wife - Wedding Ring

At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, Aren't you wearing

your wedding ring on the wrong finger? "The other replied, 'Yes I am,

I married the wrong man,"

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Husband &Wife - Why?

Dad, I was away for a week. Yesterday I sent a fax to my wife I'd

be home that night, and when I got into my room I found my wife in

another man's arms. Why, Dad? Tell me why!" Dad kept silent for a few

minutes, then coolly said, "Maybe, Son, she didn't get the fax,"

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Husband &Wife - Same Service

A husband visited a marriage counselor and said, "when we were

first married, I would come home from the office, my wife would bring my

slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking. Now after ten

years it's all different, I come home, the dog brings the slippers and

my wife runs around barking." "Why complain?" said the counselor.

"You're still getting the same service!"

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Husband &Wife - Talk About Husband

One woman told another : "My neighbor is always speaking ill of

her husband, but look at me, my husband is foolish, lazy and a

coward; but have I ever said anything bad about him?"

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Husband &Wife - Love To Do

A wife, one evening, drew her husband's attention to the couple next

door and said, "Do you see that couple? How devoted they are? He kisses

her every time they meet. Why don't you do that?" "I would love to."

Replied the husband. "But I don't know her well enough."

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Husband &Wife - No Answer Back

A man was telling his friends, "When my wife is infuriated, she

starts shouting at me, my children and even at our dogs and nobody dares

to answer her." One of his friends asked."And when you are angry what do

you do?" The man replied, "I also shout angrily at windows and doors of

the house and none of them dares to answer back.

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Husband &Wife - Come Home Late

A woman was complaining to the neighbor that her husband always came

home late, no matter how she tried to stop him.

"Take my advice," said the neighbor, "and do what I did. Once my

husband came home at three o'clock in the morning, and from my bed I

called out: "Is that you, Jim?" And that cured him. "Cured him ," asked

the woman, "but how?" The neighbor said, "You see, his name is Bill."

 

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Husband &Wife - Problem Father

"You looked troubled," I told my friend, "what's your problem?"

He replied, "I'm going to be a father."

"But that's wonderful,"

I said."What's wonderful? My wife doesn't know about it yet