Three old men are sitting on a park bench bemoaning the infirmities of age. The first one wipes his thick spectacles and says "When I was young I had the eyes of an eagle. I could see anything. Now I have these damn glasses and I still can barely see! "
The second turns up his hearing aids and says "I know, I know. When I was young I could hear like an owl. I could hear a pin drop in the next room.
Now I have to have these things to hear anything! "
The third guy says "I couldn't agree more. Just this morning I woke up and nudged my 18 year-old mistress and suggested we have wild passionate animalistic sex for an hour. She said "But we just finished doing that 20 minutes ago. "So you see, with me it's my memory!"