A young couple were out on a date, attending a concert. The auditorium was pitch dark and, as lovers will, they began to fondle each other. After a while she felt something wet and sticky and realized the boy had come in her hand. she panicked for a moment and then, figuring it was too dark for anyone to see what she was doing, flung the stuff as far in front of her as she could. It hit the second violinist on the shoulder. He felt something hit him and, trying to get it off, realized what it was.
"Hey," he whispered to the first violinist, "someone just threw me a fuck."
"I'm not surprised," snarled the first violinist. "You've been playing like a cunt all night."