This lady buys a parakeet from a
local pet shop and the shop owner guarantees the bird can talk.
After having taken the bird home and a few days of silence, the
lady finally gets the bird to talk but all it will say,
repeatedly, is "I'm a prostitute, I'm a prostitute".
Horrified, she returns the bird to the pet shop for a refund.
"I only guaranteed the bird would talk, not what it would
say" replied the shop owner, refusing a refund. Exasperated,
and very miffed, she spent a long time trying to get the bird to
stop saying "I'm a prostitute" or at least to say
something else. A few months go by with no success and the lady
gets worried that the bird will embarrass her when the local
parish priest stops by for tea and a chat about the Ladies
Auxiliary. To prevent any unpleasantness, she places the bird in
the bedroom with a towel over the cage in hopes the bird will
keep it's beak shut. No such luck. Not long into the visit the
bird blurts out it's usual announcement with unusual clarity.
With profuse apologies, the lady expsins her predicament to the
priest.
"Please don't be embarrassed", said the priest, "I
can understand your problem. Say, I've got a good idea. I've got
two parakeets back at the rectory and all they ever say is the
Rosary. Why don't I put your bird with them and maybe they'll
teach it to say something more pleasant".
"It would certainly be worth a try",
she said, "if you're sure it's not a bother."
"Not at all", the priest replied and left with her
parakeet in tow. A week goes by with the two faithful birds
repeating
"Our Father... Hail Mary..." etc., over and over again
and not even a chirp from the other. Another week goes by as
before. And yet another week when suddenly, growing more
comfortable in this new surrounding, the lady's parakeet lets out
with a rather emphatic "I'm a prostitute, I'm a
prostitute". A long silence ensues with the two prayerful
birds looking alternately at each other and their newly vocal
companion. Finally, the one turns to the other and says:
"Throw down your beads Charley, OUR PRAYERS HAVE BEEN
ANSWERED!"