There was this case
in the hospital's Intensive Care ward where patients always died in the same
bed and on Sunday morning at
Why the death? So
the doctors decide to go down to the ward to investigate the cause of the
incidents. So on the next Sunday morning few minutes before
and what happened... ???
Santa Singh, the
part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support
system so that he could use the vacuum cleaner.
Jugnu Singh got up
in the middle of the night to answer the telephone.
"Is this one
one one one?", says the voice.
"No, this is
"Are you sure
it isn't one one one one?"
"No, this is
"Well, wrong
number. I am Harpal calling, sorry to have woken you up on the middle of the
night."
"That's all
right, mister. I had to get up to answer the telephone anyway."
Jugnu Singh sees
lot of guys running on the highway.
Asks a bystander as
to why are the guys doing what they are doing.
The bystander: A
Jugnu Singh: What
do they get from that?
Bystander: The
winner will get a prize.
Jugnu Singh: Then
why are the others running?!
Jugnu Singh: I was
born in the
Hapal Singh: Oh
really, which part?
Jugnu Singh: All of
me, silly.
Jugnu : Tell me five FERROCIOUS animals
you can think of...
Harpal : 3 Lions and 2 Tigers.
Q: How can you
recognize Jugnu Singh in a submarine?
A: He is the one
with the parachute on his back.
Sardarji is buying
a TV. "Do you have colour TVs?"
Sure."
"Give me a
green one, please."
……..
Sardarji calls Air
fly to
"Just a
sec," says the rep.
"Thank
you." says the Sardarji and hangs up.
……..
Our Sardarji was
filling up an application form for
a job. He promptly filled the
columns titled NAME,AGE,ADDRESS etc.
Then he came to the
column "Salary Expected" :
He was not sure as
to what to be filled there. After much thought
he wrote :Yes
………
Sardarji proposes
to a woman. She says yes if you bring me a pair of crocodile boots.
He sets off to
Finally a search is
being made, they find him hunting crocodiles and
watch him killing a huge one.
He walks over the
reptile, checks its legs and
angrily exclaims "71st and *again*
barefoot!"
………
A Sardarji goes
into a store and sees a shining object. He asks the clerk,
"What is that
shiny object?"
The clerk replies,
"That is a
thermos flask."
The Sardarji then
asks, "What does it do?"
The clerk responds,
"It keeps hot things hot and it
keeps cold things cold."
The Sardarji says,
"I'll take it!"
The next day, he walks
into work with his new thermos.
His Sardarji boss
sees him and asks, "What is that shiny object with you?"
He said, "It's
a thermos flask."
The boss then says,
"What does it do?"
He replies,
"It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
The boss said,
"Wow, what do you have in it?"
The Sardarji
replies, "Two cups of coffee and a coke."
……..
A Sardar took an
answering machine and fixed it in his home,
somewhere in
because he was getting complaints like -
"Saala phone
utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hai"
……..
What will a
Sardarji do after taking photocopies ?
He will compare it
with the original for spelling mistakes !!
………
What will a
Sardarji do if he wants an additional
white sheet of paper?
(he
already has one and he wants one more..)
He takes a
photocopy of the white paper !!!
………
Why did 18
Sardarjis go to a movie?
Because below 18
was not allowed.
………
How do you measure
a Sardarji's intelligence?
Stick a tire
pressure gauge in his ear
………
What do you do when
a Sardarji throws a hand grenade at you?
Pull the pin and
throw it back.
………
What do you do when
a Sardarji throws a pin at you?
Run like
crazy....he's got a hand grenade in his mouth.
………
How do you make a
Sardarji laugh on Saturday?
Tell him a joke on
Wednesday.
………
What is the
Sardarji doing when he holds his hands
tightly over his ears?
Trying to hold on to a thought.
………
Why does Sardarji
always smile during lightning storms?
He thinks his
picture is being taken.
………
Why does Sardarji
have "TGIF" written on their shoes?
Toes Go In First.
………
How can you tell
when Sardarji sends you a fax?
It has a stamp on
it.
………
Why can't Sardarji
dial 911?
They can not find
the eleven on the phone
………
How do you get
Sardarji on the roof?
Tell him the drinks
are on the house.
………
"Oh, look at
the dead bird."
Sardar looked
skyward and said "Where, Where?
………
What do smart
Sardarji's and UFOs have in common?
You always hear
about them but you never see them.
………
Why does it take to
get to build a Sardarji snowman
as opposed to a regular one?
You have to hollow
out the head.
………
The doctor told
Sardarji that if he ran eight
kilometres a day for 300 days, he would
loose 34 kilos. At
the end of 300 days, Sardarji called
the doctor to
report he had lost the weight, but he
had a problem.
"What's the
problem?" asked the doctor.
"I'm 2400 kms
from home."
How Does a Sardar
Cheat the Railways??
He buys the ticket
but doesn't travel !!!!!!!!
There were 4
sardars in Mumbai. They decided to start a business. They had a lot of
discussions on the type of business and finally decided to start a hotel. They
selected the best of locations and cooks and built the hotel. The hotel was
inaugurated and was awaiting its first customer.The sardars waited and waited
but nobody turned up. The story was the same the next day. A week passed but nobody
turned up.
WHY ? - B'cos there
was a sign at the entrance "Visitors not allowed."
After the failure
of their hotel they decided to start an auto garage.
They bought the
best of car servicing equipment's and soon started the
garage. The 4 sardars waited that day
for the first car to arrive but no car
entered their garage. They waited for
one day, 2 days ,a week but no car
came to their garage.
WHY ? - B'cos their garage was on the
first floor.
After this failure
they decided to fall back on the good old taxi driving.
They bought a new
Premier Padmini running on CNG and began to look for passengers. They went past
Churchgate but nobody hailed their taxi. They went to Nariman point yet nobody
hailed their taxi. They drove to Chatrapati Shivaji Terminus, even there nobody
hailed their taxi. In
desperation they kept on driving all around Mumbai but alas no
one hailed their taxi.
WHY ? - B'cos all the
four sardars were sitting in the taxi.
All the 4 sardars
were very disgusted with their naseeb and decided to push their taxi into the
sea at Marine Lines. They started pushing their taxi.They pushed the whole day and
were very exhausted but the taxi did
not move even an inch. They decided
to rest for the night and start the next day.
The next day the story repeated itself. The taxi just wouldn't move.They
pushed for a whole week but the taxi wouldn't budge.
WHY ? - B'cos two sardarjis were
pushing from front and two from
behind.
Sardar's son: mom
kal raat ko vapas vaisa hi hua bathroom jane ke liye
darwaza khola aur apne aap light on ho gayi.
Mom: tenu kitni
baar bola ki fridge ganda mat kiya kar.
What is the
chemical formula 4 water?
Sardar: HIJKLMNO.
Teacher: wht r u
talking abt?
Sardar: Yesterday u
said H to O.
What is the full
form of singh s-sardar i-insaan n-nahi g-gadha h-hai!
Angry sardar-Oye
mein is duniya ko mita dunga mita dunga mita dunga. Another sardar standing besides said mein tujhe rubber hi nahi
dunga.
Santa singh: Can u
spell a word tht has more thn 1000 letters in it?
Banta singh: Post
office.
Sardar on cycle hit
lady accidently, lady says," break nahi mar sakta
tha kya?" Sardar
replies "break ka kya hai, poori
cycle to mar di....."
Sardarji zebra
crossing ke black & white patte par bar bar idhar-udhar chalte the, woh kya
rahe
honge....think............."SALA YE PIANO BAJTA KYO NAHI"
Sardar:Aap kitna padhe ho?
Friend: B.A.
Sardar: kamal karte
ho yaar sirf do word padhe aur woh bhi ulte.
A friend asks
sardar how was your exam?
Sardar: It was ok
but i couldnt answer past tense of
THINK. I thought, thought & finally i wrote 'THUNK'.
Sardar: Doctor help me, mein jab baat karta huun to muje sirf awaaz sunai
deti hai, aadmi nahi dikhta.
Dr: Aaisa kab hota
hai?
Sardar: Phone karte
waqt.
Sardar jhad pe
bethkar gaa rahe the, achanak ek sardar jhad se ulta latak ke gaane laga, dusre
ne pucha ki ulta kyon latka he, Sardar bola oye side B gaa raha hun.
Sardarni asks her
lover,
"Santa dear,
if we get engaged, will u give me a ring?"
"Sure" replies
santa. "Whats
A sardar goes 2 a
hotel & after eating he goes 2 wash his hands, but start washing the basin
Manager:
Wht r u doing?
Sardar: U have written here "
Sardar gets ready,
wears tie, coat, goes out, climbs tree, sits on the branch regularly. A man
asks why he does this.
Sardar:"I've been promoted as branch manager."
***
One sardarji
professor asked a plumber to come to his college.
U know Why?
Because he wanted
to check from where the question paper is leaking...
***
Srdr: I haven't
slept all night in the train.
Frnd: Why?
Srdr: Got upper
berth.
Frnd: Why did'nt u
Xchanged?
Srdr: oye, there
was nobody 2 Xchange on the lower berths..
***
Sardar-why are all
these people running?
Man- This is a
race, the winner will get the cup.
sardar-If only the winner will get the
cup, why are others running?
***
Sardar had twins;
he named them Tin & Martin.
Again had twins
& named Peter & Repeater.
Again twins &
named Max & Climax.
Again next year same. disgusted
Sardar named them TIRED &
RETIRED!!!!
***
Postman:- I Have To Come 5
Miles To Deliver U This Packet.
Sardar:- why did u come
so far. Instead u could have posted
it....
***
A Sardar & his
wife filed an application for Divorce.
Judge asked: How'll
U divide, U've 3 children?
Sardar replied: Ok!
We"ll apply NEXT YEAR.
***
Sardar's wish : when i die, i wanna die like my grandpa who died
peacefuly in his sleep not screamin like
all the passengers in the car he was driving..
***
Sardar at an
Art dealer: I beg
your pardon sir, thats you in a mirror!
***
A man asked
sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes walking at evening not in the morning.
Sardarji replied "Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM".