Sex Education
Little Johnny was 7 years old and like other boys his age rather
curious. He had been hearing quite a bit about 'courting' from
the older boys, and he wondered what it was and how it was done.
One day he took his question to his mother, who became rather
flustered. Instead of explaining things to Johnny,she told him to
hide behind the curtains one night and watch his older sister and
her boyfriend.
This he did. The following morning, Johnny described EVERYTHING
to his mother. "'Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked for a
while, then he turned off most of the lights. Then he started
kissing and hugging her. I figured 'Sis must be getting sick,
because her face started looking funny. He must have thought so
too, because he put his just the way the doctor would. Except
he's not as smart as the doctor because he seemed to have trouble
finding her heart. I guess he was getting sick too,because pretty
soon both of them started panting and gettin all out of breath.
His other hand must of been coldbecause he put it under her
skirt.
About this time 'Sis got worse and began to moan and sigh and
squirm around and slide down toward the end of the couch. This
was when her fever started. I knew it was a fever, because Sis
told him she felt really hot. Finally, I found out what was
making them so sick -- a big eel had gotten inside his pants
somehow. It just jumped out of his pants and stood there, about
10 inches long, honest, anyway he grabbed it in one hand to keep
it from getting away. When Sis saw it, she got really scared
--her eyes got big, and her mouth fell oopen, and she started
calling out to God and stuff like that. She said it was the
biggest one she's ever seen; I should tell her about the ones
down at the lake by our house!
Anyway, Sis got brave and tried to kill the eel by biting its
head off. All of a sudden she grabbed it with both hands and held
it tight while he took a muzzle out of his pocket and slipped it
over the eel's head to keep it from biting again. Sis lay back
and spread her legs so she could get a scissor-lock on it and he
helped by lying on top of the eel. The eel put up a hell of a
fight. Sis started groaning and squealing and her boyfriend
almost upset the couch. I guess they wanted to kill the eel by
squashing it between them. After a while they both quit moving
and gave a great sigh. Her boyfriend got up, and sure enough,
they killed the eel. I knew because it just hung there, limp, and
some of its insides were hanging out. Sis and her boyfriend were
a little tired from the battle, but they went back to courting
anyway.
He started hugging and kissing her again. By golly, the eel wasn't dead! It jumped straight up and started to fight again. I guess eels are like cats -- they have nine lives or something. This time, Sis jumped up and tried to kill it by sitting on it. After about a 35 minute struggle, they finally killed the eel. I knew it was dead, because I saw Sis's boyfriend peel its skin off and flush it down the toilet.