Dennis the drunk was broke as usual, but needed a drink. He knew the barman to be a sporting fellow, so he offered him a bet.

"I'll bet you the price of a pint of beer that my prick is longer than your cat's tail," he said to the barman.

The barman could not resist a certain winning bet so he lay down his money. The barman whipped up the cat and measured it and then measured Dennis's somewhat sad-looking member.

"You lose by just over 3 inches, Dennis," he said,

"so pay up!"

"Jus' a minute," slurred Dennis.

"Where did you measure th' cat's tail from?"

"From its arse to its to its tip replied the barman.

"OK," said Dennis. "Well, would you mind giving me th' same courtesy!"