Paddy and Kevin get drunk and decide that they have to go to confession. When they get to the church, they argue about who's going to go in first. Paddy loses, so he enters the confessional.
"Bless me father, for I have sinned. It's been two months since me last confession. I have committed the sin of adultery."
"Well, my son, in order to absolve you, you'll have to tell me who it was with," says the priest.
"I can't, father, I'm sworn to secrecy."
"Very well, my son, I'll say some names, you tell me if I'm correct."
"I can't, father, I'm sworn to secrecy."
"Was it Mrs. O'Malley?"
"I can't say, father."
"Was it Mrs. O'Flaherty."
"I can't say, father."
"Was it Mrs. O'Toole?"
"I can't say, father."
"Very well, if ye won't say, then I'll have to excommunicate ye from the church for 30 days."
Paddy leaves the confessional and Kevin asks, "Well, how'd it go?"
"Not bad," says Paddy, "I got 3 hot tips and a 30 day vacation."