You might take a look at me, and at first glimpse, what do you see? An ordinary teenager into music and girls. You might find out I am in a fraternity, and see me as a womanizing, drug using binge drinker. You might even talk to me and see me as lighthearted, shallow, maybe even intelligent.
However, call me ordinary or normal, and I'll probably kick your ass. Why you might ask? Well, few people ever really spend the time to get to know me. Few care. Why? Because they think I'm the same that everyone else is. How many 19 year old kids are poets? How many could sit and listen first to punk, then to blues, then to classical, and appreciate it? How many could sit and debate the usefulness of religion, then do computer programming, and finish the night by talking a close friend out of suicide? How many of you are deep enough to think about someone else more than themselves? How many of you willingly sacrifice much-needed sleep to please others? I might be seen face to face as a person, to some an individual, but right now, I am but a shell of a man with a need to have my voice heard, my cries heard above the rest. For too long, I have spent my life making others happy. I rush to a sick friends bedside, stay up till all hours talking people into doing whats good for them, sacrificing my own health to ensure to health of another, sucking up in school not to make myself proud, but rather to make my parents and teachers happy. Yet, I can't find anyone when I most need them, so to hell with the world. Its my time now, time for me to rage, vent, release all of the toxins thrown into me, emotionally and physically. As of this, I am now free to do as I wish, do things for me, and live my life, as I want with little regard for what someone else wants. I will still care for those around me whom I know support me and don't put up false pretenses of giving a damn, but to the rest of you, those that act as if they care, those of you that only see me as but a nameless face in a crowd, to hell with you. I write this not to insult, demean, degrade, or deny anyone their credit, but rather to state how I feel. You can deny this if you wish, but realize: This is how I feel, not fact as I see it. Should you wish to debate this, you are more than welcome to try, but I highly doubt that my oinions will change.