THE EX-STARS FILE

LIKE MOST CRITICS, I WAS CAUGHT A BIT OFF GUARD BY THE NEWS THAT THE INNOCUOUS, NONDESCRIPT RICKY SCHRODER WOULD BE REPLACING NYPD BLUE HOUSE STUD JIMMY SMITS NEXT SEASON.

THE FORMER CHILD STAR WHOSE, BEST WORK (SILVER SPOONS "THE CHAMP,") IS ALMOST TWO DECADES IN THE PAST, IS NOT THE FIRST NAME THAT COMES TO MIND WHEN ONE THINKS OF A NEW PARTNER FOR THE GRIZZLED, MISANTHROPIC ANDY SIPOWICZ.

NOW THAT THE CHOICE HAS BEEN MADE, I AM ACTUALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO A TIDAL WAVE OF SIMILARLY DARING HIRING DECISIONS.

FIRST ON MY LIST; HOMICIDE: LIFE ON THE STREETS, WHICH IS LOSING ANDRE BRAUGHER, THE MOST TALENTED ACTOR ON TV TODAY, TO THE MOVIES.

ALTHOUGH JOEY LAWRENCE IS NOT THE MOST OBVIOUS TO REPLACE THIS MULTIFACETED PERFORMER, HOMICIDE PRODUCERS COULD DO WORSE THEN THE BLOSSOM VETEREN.

LIKE SCHRODER LAWRENCE ONCE RULED THE AIRWAVES, BEFORE HE VANISHED INTO THAT STRANGE LIMBO THAT IS RESERVED FOR TEEN HEART-THOBS WHOSE CAREERS STALLED AS SOON AS THEY STARTED TO SHAVE.

THIS CASTING CHOICE WOULD HAVE BEEN WORTHWHILE IF ONLY FOR THE CHANCE TO SEE THE BABY-FACED LAWRENCE SQUARE OFF AGAINST THE DIABOLICALLY UNPLEASANT DETECTIVE MUNCH.

I KNOW RICHARD BELZER WOULD HAVE ENJOYED THE EXPERIENCE.

CLEARLY, IT IS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE THE FAST-RISING DAVID DUCHOVNY PARTS COMPANY WITH THE X-FILES AND PURSUES A FULL-TIME MOVIE CAREER.

HERE THE REPLACEMENT POSSIBILITIES ARE VIRTUALLY ENDLESS, ALUMMI FROM EIGHT IS ENOUGH, HAPPY DAYS AND DIFF'RENT STROKES ARE SPORTING IMPRESSIVE RESUMES.

BUT AS SO OFTEN THE CASE IN THESE SITUATIONS, MY THOUGHTS TURN TO THE PARTRIDGE FAMILY.

WHEN LAST SEEN DAVID CASSIDY WAS PERFORMING IN A GLITZY VEGAS ACT, THE KIND WHERE THE SPECIAL EFFECTS GET MORE APPLAUSE THAN THE PERFORMER.

BEFORE THE RICKY SCHROEDER ANNOUNCEMENT, I WOULD HAVE HESITATED TO MENTION HIS NAME IN THE SAME BREATH AS DUCHOVNY'S.

BUT, IN RECENT YEARS THE X-FILES HAVE BEEN GETTING WEIRDER AND WEIRDER.

WHAT COULD BE STRANGER THEN HIRING DAVID CASSIDY REPLACING DAVID DUCHOVNY.

FOR ONE, THEY BOTH HAVE THE SAME FIRST NAME.

COINCIDENCE, YOU SAY ?

ANOTHER HIGHLY RESPECTED PROGRAM WILL SUFFER A CRITICAL DEFECTION AT THE END OF NEXT SEASON IS ER WHOSE STAR GEORGE CLOONEY IS LEAVING THE SHOW NOW THAT HE HAS DONE A MOVIE THAT WAS NOT A COMPLETE BOMB.

BUT, N.B.C. HAS AN ACE IN THE HOLE: IN THE WAKE OF THE RICKY SCHROEDER COUP, IT COULD BOLDLY REVIVE THE CAREER OF RICK SPRINGFIELD, ONETIME STAR OF GENERAL HOSPITAL WHO THEN ELECTED TO PERSUE A ROCK-N-ROLL CAREER THAT HASN'T YET LED TO THE CLEVELAND HALL OF FAME.

THE FACT THAT SPRINGFIELD ONCE PLAYED A SURGEON; DR. NOAH DRAKE, WOULD PROVIDE HIM WITH THE NECESSARY MEDICAL EXPERTISE TO SLIP RIGHT INTO CLOONEY'S SHOES.

WELL, STERILIZED BOOTIES.

END