Chapter 2

Shirley Yip Wun Yee ~~~~~ Jessica Hester Hsuan
Aliss Yip Tsui Yee ~~~~~ Nnadia Chan Chung Ling
Alex Chan Chi Heen ~~~~~ Louis Koo Tin Lok
Hui Ka Bo ~~~~~ Julian Cheung Chi Lam
Tsang Wing Hong ~~~~~ Alec Su Yau Peng
Yip Tung ~~~~~ Lau Dan
Evie ~~~~~ Seet Ka Yin
Chan Siu Ling ~~~~~ Annie Mun Jung Han
Jason Lau ~~~~~ Gallen Law Ka Leung
Lam Jun ~~~~~ Bowie Lam Bo Yee
Whiskers ~~~~~ Eric Tsang Chi Wai

The morning arrived.

Shirley woke up with a hole in her heart. That feeling of emptiness had never failed to cloud her every time she woke up from a one-night stand. It served to remind her that she wasting her time on men who cared nothing for her. But this was her way of numbing herself.

It had been four years since everything in her world crumbled down. Four long years, in which Shirley had trudged through feeling like a hollow shell. The blood that pumped through her was cold and emotionless. She didn�t dare allow herself to feel anything. She was afraid that if she did, the pain would all rush back. In essence, she was fleeing from the agonizing memories that threatened to seep through the brick walls she had built to encage them.

Sitting up in bed, Shirley looked over at the man next to her. He was asleep on his chest, the hard lines of his broad shoulders and back showing through the thin sheets. A sense of d�j� vu, something she had never felt before, overtook her and her mind drifted to a similar scene four years ago�

The diamond ring on her finger glittered as morning dawned and the sun peeked through the windows. Remembering the night before, a small grin tugged at her lips.

She gazed at the figure of a sleeping man next to her. He was on his chest, back facing her and she could see his solid form, a result of countless hours of grueling labor. She breathed to the rhythm of his falling and rising chest and she felt connected to him, like no other bond she had ever shared with any other.

Her happy ending had finally happened. This man, who she had dreamed day and night of marrying, had finally proposed.

�Good morning, soon to be Mrs. Lau.� Jason Lau turned over and faced her.

�Who�s your Mrs. Lau?� Shirley challenged, but the smile on her face gave her away.

He scooped her up in his arms and patted the diamond ring on her finger. �You are. You wore my ring.�

�I only want the ring. You, I can do without.�

Jason pouted, �But I can�t do without you.�

�Well, that�s your problem.�

He continued pouting, the look on his face, vulnerable and sweet. He shot her the sad puppy face. Laughing, Shirley placed her lips on his and kissed the pout away. �Mr. and Mrs. Lau,� she whispered.

�That was when she still believed in true love and happily ever after. But experience taught her otherwise. Experience taught her that love culminated with sadness. There�s no way around it because that�s just the way life is.

Shirley gave herself a mental shake. Why had these memories suddenly popped up? She had worked so hard, forcing herself, to forget them. But they were, in fact, just lurking in a dark corner, ready to spring into light and cause her pain.

Chi Heen shifted on his back and rolled around on the bed. Opening his eyes, he saw the woman with a desperate look on her face and teardrops rolling down her face. �Are you OK? Why are you crying?�

She wiped the tears off her cheeks and feigned a smile. �Sure, why wouldn�t I be?�

�Because of me,� he stuttered. �I�m sorry.�

�About what?�

He bit his lip, uncertain of how to put into words what he felt. He had always had a hard time talking to women. Actually, he had never been comfortable around other people. �Last night. I shouldn�t have � we shouldn�t have � I mean, I�m really sorry for what happened. I was too drunk and I � I shouldn�t have taken advantage of you.�

She looked up at him, stunned by the genuineness in his eyes. Of all the random men in her life, he was the only one who had ever showed a single shred of sincerity towards her. Most had quietly slipped away at the first sign of morning. Some couldn�t even wait for morning before bailing. She laughed loudly in an attempt to hide her surprise. �I think I was the one to take advantage of you!�

He smiled clumsily then, showing his right dimple, and she felt herself suck in her breath. He looks so sweet and vulnerable! Realizing what had just crossed her mind, she quickly banished the thought. Don�t get too close, she warned herself.

�Why were you crying?� he asked, repeating his earlier question.

�Was I? Actually, it�s the air in this place� � she waved her hands around � �way too dusty, if you ask me! If I don�t leave soon, I�m going to suffocate in here.�

Chi Heen watched as she hopped off the bed and began gathering her clothes. They had just met, but already, he could read through her words and see through her gestures as if he had known her his whole life. She was lying, he was sure of it, and she did a pretty darn good job. He could sense a tension vibrating from deep within her and it reminded Chi Heen so much of himself. The way she pretended nothing was wrong when in actuality, everything was. They were two very similar people. Is that what they call a special bond?

A special bond with a woman he thought of as special as well? For someone who�s been a loner his whole life, that ain�t too shabby. And indeed this woman was special to him. There was something about the twinkling in her eyes and the mischievous smile that thoroughly mesmerized him. He realized then that he had no idea who this woman was and that he might never see her again. Summoning all his courage, he took a deep breath and asked, �What�s your name?�

She fought within herself, debating whether or not to answer. �Why do you want to know?�

�Well,� he hesitated, �I would like to see you again.�

�You would?� Shirley asked, surprised. This was certainly something new.

�Of course I would.�

Winking at him, she said, �I�ll tell you next time.�

�So then there will be a next time?�

It went against Shirley�s instincts to see this man more than once, but there was a vulnerability to him and she didn�t want to squash his hopes. �Give me your number. I�ll call you.�

As Chi Heen wrote down his cell number, Shirley scooted around, trying to find her shoes. She grabbed what she assumed was the man�s pants and something fell from it.

It was a gun.

Shirley picked it up and threw him an amused look. �Care to explain?�

�That � I � uh,� he stammered before turning his head to meet her inquisitive gaze, �Look, I lead somewhat of a complicated life. I really don�t think I should explain that because the less you know, the better. I guess I understand if you don�t want to see me again.�

She threw her head back in laughter, much to his surprise. �Believe me, I�ve seen much worse than a handgun.�

�You have?� Chi Heen asked, raising his eyebrow.

She smiled, turning only the left corner of her lips up. �I have a concealed identity. And judging from this gun, so do you.� With one last look at him, she tossed the gun on the bed, grabbed the paper with his number written on it, and left the room. �Hide it better next time,� she called over her shoulder.

A congregation of people flocked around the operating room � reporters, police, and members of Tin Lung, Hong Kong�s most powerful triad. It was big news. Chow Mun Fai, right hand man of Tin Lung�s �dai lo�, was shot and arrested last night when a sting operation by the police interrupted a firearms deal.

Through her tears, Aliss stared at the �Operation� sign. It glowed brightly, illuminating the faces of the people that crowded the hallway.

Her worst fear was no longer a fear. It was reality. Mun Fai now lay inside that operation room, his life in the hands of whom she hoped was an excellent surgeon. Aliss couldn�t lose him. Her life would lose all meaning, all direction if she did.

A sudden buzz erupted through the throng of people. �Tung Yeh�s coming!� the voices muttered excitedly. (yeh as in grandfather�although, in this context, it means leader)

Yip Tung milled his way through the swarms of his triad�s members. He searched through the crowd until he spotted Ka Bo. His voice boomed out, drowning out the other sounds. �Ka Bo!�

�Tung Yeh,� Ka Bo greeted.

�What the hell happened?�

�I don�t know what happened,� Ka Bo answered grimly. �I wasn�t with Mun Fai Gor last night.�

Tung Yeh breathed impatiently. �Did Tsui Yee hear about this yet?�

Nodding, Ka Bo cocked his eyebrow towards Aliss. �Miss Yip�s over there.�

Tung Yeh�s eyes landed on his oldest daughter. It broke his heart to see tears spilling from her eyes. �Tsui Yee,� he softly said as he sat down on the bench.

Turning her gaze from the doors of the operating room, Aliss buried herself in her father�s arms. �Daddy, I�m so scared!� she choked through her tears. �What happens if Mun Fai dies? What am I going to do?�

�Shhh,� Tung Yeh cooed, smoothing Aliss�s hair with his calloused hands, �Mun Fai�s going to be OK. He�s a tough person. He�ll pull through.�

The doors to the operating room opened then, and three nurses rolled Mun Fai out. The doctor emerged a second later. �Who is the patient�s family?�

Aliss sprang up from the bench and opened her mouth to respond, only to be interrupted.

�You only need to speak to me,� a man called out. He showed his ID to the doctor. �Inspector Lam Jun. The patient is a suspect in my case. How is he?�

�The bullet shot pierced through his right lung and caused it to collapse. Plus, he lost a lot of blood. We were able to save his life, but that is only for now. He is not yet stable. His life is in danger.�

Aliss cried out at the doctor�s news, but Lam Sir ignored it. �He is crucial to my case. Will I be able to question him?�

The doctor reflected for a second and nodded. �He is not yet awake, but when he does, I will arrange for you to see him.�

�I�m his girlfriend. Can I see him, too?� Aliss spoke up.

Lam Sir shook his head. �Sorry, Chow Mun Fai is under arrest. No one can see him except for police and the hospital staff.�

Her face twisted in agony. �Please, Lam Sir. Just one quick glance.�

The inspector�s face remained stoic. �Sorry.�

Grief-stricken, Aliss crumbled down onto the floor. Ka Bo clenched his jaws and suppressed his urge to attack Lam Sir. But Tung Yeh surprised everyone.

�What�s the big idea, Lam Sir?� he asked sharply. �My daughter only wants to see Chow Mun Fai. She can�t do anything, and it might be her last chance.�

Lam Sir met the middle-aged man�s eyes. �Because she is your daughter, I can�t allow her to see Chow Mun Fai.� He turned away and left the congregation of Tin Lung members, who were in uproar over the lack of respect �that freaking cop showed Tung Yeh.�

Tung Yeh instructed Ka Bo to clear everyone out of the hospital before crouching down next to his daughter. Aliss fell into his embrace, tears streaming down her face.

Hong flopped down on a bench along the Tsim Sha Tsui harbor and sagged his shoulders dejectedly. Two job interviews and both had turned him away with a half-hearted �We�ll call you if something comes up.�

He opened a bakery box and took out a egg custard (don tot). Plastic spoon in hand, he scooped out the �jelly� part. (He never liked eating the crust. It was too dry for him.) He inhaled through his stuffed mouth and heaved a forlorn sigh. It had been two months since his company laid him off and he needed a job desperately. He owed his landlord rent and bills were pouring in.

But the economy was at a low point, and he was feeling the sting of it. Everyday, he scanned the newspaper for jobs, but they either required a bachelor�s degree � something he didn�t have � or the position was filled even before he showed up at the interview. And everyday, he sat at the harbor, studying the scenery and eating his lunch of egg custards.

Hong stood up from the bench, the box in his hand filled with a half dozen egg custard crusts. He passed by a homeless beggar he had nicknamed Whiskers for the stray hairs that sprouted on the old man�s chin. He saw Whiskers everyday, positioned at the same spot, sleeping on a flimsy piece of cardboard. The beggar helped Hong put things in perspective. Knowing that there were people worse off than him, he felt a surge of determination to lift himself from the financial rut he was stuck in.

Just like every day, Hong placed the box of egg custard crusts by Whisker�s feet. The old man greedily grabbed at the crusts and crammed his mouth until it bloated out. He never grumbled about the half-eaten egg custards Hong gave him. In fact, he had turned down the whole egg custard Hong had once bought for him. Hong supposed it was because Whiskers didn�t like it when people went out of their way and helped him out of pity.

Walking away from the harbor, Hong hurried to meet his friend. Through an incredible stroke of good luck, he had found someone who was willing to buy his car. It wasn�t a lot of money, but it was more than he had expected for his beat up Toyota. And besides, he needed the money.

The institution was a lonely building in a desolate corner of Hong Kong. The gray mass of concrete locked all its habitants from ever going outside. The metal rods in the windows barred sunlight from splashing into the building.

It was dreary and gave off a sense of hopelessness. It was a typical mental hospital.

The elevator opened its door on the fourth floor and Chi Heen stepped out. He marched down the corridor and as he did, his sneakers squeaked, breaking the eerie silence.

He passed the nurses� station. �Hi, Evie.�

The middle-aged nurse looked up from her clipboard. �Chi Heen! Here to visit Siu Ling again?�

He entered a room and was immediately hit by a strong odor of vomit. �Mui (younger sister), you threw up again, didn�t you?� he sighed, �I know the food here sucks, but you can�t keep hurling it everyday. You need to eat.�

The young woman on the bed paid no attention to Chi Heen. She only stared at the white walls, a blank expression on her face.

�I brought your favorite,� he said, reaching into a brown paper bag. He fished out a piece of Malay cake (ma lai go.) �This, I know you won�t throw up. But remember don�t tell the nurses. They�ll kill me if they knew I brought you outside food again,� he winked.

For the first time since Chi Heen entered the room, Chan Siu Ling turned her eyes on him. A small smile tugged on her lips and she greedily grabbed the piece of cake from his hands. She gobbled it down and then sighed satisfactorily.

The blank expression returned.

Chi Heen settled himself into a chair. �How are they treating you, Mui? I know the old head nurse was transferred and there�s a new one. Have you met her yet? She nice? How about Evie? Has she ��

�What about Evie?� a voice called from the doorway. The nurse ambled in, carrying a thick blanket in her arms. �You better watch what you say about me,� Evie warned, pointing a joking index finger at him. She laid the thick blanket on top of Siu Ling and with a tender touch, she tucked Siu Ling�s arms over the blanket.

Chi Heen smiled. �How has she been these days?�

Evie hugged the young woman�s hand in her own. �We�re just fine and dandy. Aren�t we, sweetie?� She glanced up at Chi Heen. �You, darling, I�m not sure about.�

�Me? I�m fine.�

�No you�re not,� she said in a tone that only mothers used to scold their children, �You�re almost 30 years old, Chi Heen. When are you going to settle down and get married?�

He chuckled. �You�re talking like you�re my mother.�

�Well I�ve watched you and Siu Ling grow up, ever since she first came in here twenty years ago. In a way, I�ve become your surrogate mother. And don�t forget, I am old enough to be your mother.�

He laid his arm around her shoulder. �Nah! No one would believe that. The oldest you could possibly look is my older sister.�

�Oh no, darling! You�re not sweet-talking your way out of this one,� she scolded. �Back to my question. How long are you going to keep on being a bachelor? A man needs a wife.�

He shrugged. �Why do I need a wife when I have Mui and Evie? You two are the only people I�ll ever need.�

�There you go, sweet-talking again!� Evie shook her head. �I�ve never seen you bring one girl up here before. Have you even dated before? I don�t understand why your answer would be �No�. You�re handsome and charming and you have a great heart. There should be herds of women lining up to go out with you.�

�It�s not that simple,� he sighed. He thought about the handgun hidden underneath his pants. There was so much he hadn�t � couldn�t � tell her. �My life�s too complicated.�

�How complicated could it get?� she asked incredulously. �Of course, I wouldn�t know. You refuse to tell me anything about how your life is. I worry, you know.�

Chi Heen studied her serious face and it hit him. This woman, who other than being his sister�s nurse had no connection to him, genuinely cared about him. Maybe I�m not as alone in the world as I thought. �Don�t worry about me. Worry about Mui, OK?�

�I have enough worry for the both of you.� She turned to leave, but called over her shoulder before shutting the door, �Darling, life is only as complicated as you make it.�

If only that was true for me, Chi Heen thought. He hadn�t intentionally made his life complicated. It was an accident. All he ever wanted was to live simply. But that had been taken away from him. Sometimes, he wished he could get it all back. He wished he could travel back in time to twenty years ago and change the way things had happened. He wished he could have stopped his stepfather from drinking and snorting cocaine that night. He wished he could have stopped himself from mouthing off at his stepfather.

Chi Heen looked at his sister and her blank face. The sickening crack of the bat slamming her head echoed in his ears and he winced. He had never been able to erase that sound from his memory. It constantly rang in his ears and reminded him what Siu Ling had done for him. If it weren�t for him, she wouldn�t have to be cooped up in this mental hospital for the rest of her life. He hated blaming himself, but he couldn�t help it. The fact of the matter was he was the one who had ignited his stepfather�s temper. He was the one the bat was supposed to land on, not Siu Ling.

And by no means was that where the guilt stopped. Chi Heen let his mind wander and he remembered his mother and what had happened to her. That was his fault, too. That look � NO! Chan Chi Heen, why are you digging up these old memories? Stop thinking about this! With enormous willpower, he forced those memories into the dark corners of his mind, where they had been buried for years.

Everything was his entire fault, and because of that, his life was one hell of a complication. Complication? That�s an understatement, he sneered. That one night had morphed him into an orphan. His grandmother took him in, but she was a frail woman on the verge of death. Money and food were scarce. Siu Ling�s medical bills needed to be paid. And so, Chi Heen took on a few part-time jobs, working every waking minute that was not spent in school. The situation got so bad, though, Chi Heen soon dropped out of school and worked full-time.

Through all these years, Chi Heen never made any friends. First off, he didn�t have time for any; and second, he was an introverted loner. The only two people who he ever felt at ease around were Siu Ling and Evie. Evie � what a wonderful nurse she was! To Chi Heen and Siu Ling, she really was more than a nurse. In the absence of their mother and the death of their grandmother, Evie had become a surrogate mother to them. But even she didn�t know Chi Heen�s occupation. In fact, no one did. Not even the people who hired him for they knew Chi Heen simply as Alex.

So more discovery of the characters' background, but still lots of unanswered questions. I hope that the characters' personalities sound real to you. Comments, please!! Drop me a note in the guestbook. Ciao! >;p

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