Dreams and Time

by Maharet

comments: this took me more than usual, cuz i haven't been in the mood to
writte this kind of fic lately, sorry ^^
anyway this fic's dedicated to Saph, pls i wanna read more of ur WK fic ^~, to
Mi-chan here u got more DXS enjoy, and to my chéri Arna >< already miss u.
it's a bit too dramatic but i guess it's ok, poor babies they have the right to
be dramatic sometimes too, spc in this fic ^___^.
Maharet~


Part 5

The light's perfect

Not too bright, not too dark.

I need balance..in life.

To be.

Shinya looked at the city under him through the window, running his hand for
the cold glass.

He had been awake for hours now, but die was still asleep in his bed.

The drummer stared at the figure under the sheets sweetly.

Why does it have to be like this??

At this point i'm not sure if i would prefer to not know love than to love and
not been able to show it, specially when we're so close..

"Die.u can't imagine what it is to have u next to me so close yet so far away"
he said softly trying not to wake the elder man.

He looks so comfortable here.

almost happy smiling in dreams.

"sweet dreams babe??"

he was interrupted by a knock in the door.

Shinya looked at his friend afraid that he might woke up, but die was still as
deeply asleep as before.

So with a smile he went to answer the door, putting special care in clossing
the door, he didn't want anything to disturb the guitarist,

he walked through the apartment feeling satisfied with life at least for once.

It doesn't matter at all if he doesn't love me, i was a foul..of corse i'm
lucky i found my soul mate, i know love.

Who cares if he don't know it.

I'm certain and that's enough.

He opened the door slowly, he was too distracted by his thoughts.

Walking in dreams.

"Hi baby, how're ya??" said Miyabi entering the apartment in front of a
surprised shinya.

God!! i completly forgot abt him.

"Miyabi-kun i thought u were in Kyoto recording" he said scared.

This is ridiculous.

All becuz of totchi's stupid prophecy ><

I'm sure he was just fooling around

I'm not in love with Miyabi anyway, this has to stop.

"I couldn't stay there, i was missing u so much, i had to go back at least for
the night, tomorrow i'm going back" miyabi said holding shinya's little hands
in his rough and big ones.

Such a beautiful hands.

With large and slim pale fingers.

But these'ren't sweet, caressing as die's, this are strong and rough, eager of
skin to touch.

"Miyabi we need to talk" said shinya leading the guitarist to the couch, the
sunset was specially beautiful today. the room was all dyed with the orange and
pink tones from the sky..

mixture of darkness and light.

Perfect as eternity.

Infinity.

Both men were in the couch facing eachother, the last rays of sun shinning over
their bodies.

"please shinya, first let me tell u something, i need to" asked miyabi tenderly
caressing shinya's hand.

Shinya nodded slowly.

That was the last thing he could do.

"i love u, i know we've met just for a couple of days, but that's enough for
me, i know what i feel and i wanna be with u forever from now on, i began to
exist just the day i found u, before that i was nothing." the dark haired man
said solemnly looking straight into the other man's deep eyes, searching for an
answer.

This gotta be a joke.

Non sense.

How can he talk abt love,

does he even know what love is??

Shinya felt lost he didn't want to hurt Miyabi, after all it was all his own
fault, he was the one that left that bar with Miyabi, he let the other man
create hopes, even though he always knew that Miyabi was nothing but a
desperate attempt to forget Die, and the feeling that had been killing him
since so many years ago.

"Miyabi-kun.i don't know what to say, it's just that." he said slowly carefully
without taking his eyes off the beautiful face in front of him.

"Don't u love me??" Miyabi's voice cracked a bit but he didn't bother to try
hiding it, tears formed in his dark eyes.

Why??

It's so unfair.

There should be only shared love in this world.

If it's true that there's just one person for each other in reality, even
though the chance's so low.

Then there shouldn't exist such things as one sided love.

"i'm sorry.i like u very much, u're gorgeous and sweet and a great
guy..perfect, just not for me, i've been inlove with someone since a couple of
years ago, he doesn't feel that way for me, but anyway it would be unfair to be
with u when i'm thinking of someone else" he said honestly, feeling incredibly
sad and heart broken.

World's a cruel place.

And life's such a bitch..

Irony that's all.

A big joke.

"but shinya, it's not unfair, i don't care abt that, i know we belong each
other, can't u see?? We're meant to be together, i know at the end u're gonna
understand it too, we're in love, even if u're not realized abt it yet" Miyabi
said seriously hugging shinya tightly in his arms.

I'm sorry..

It's all my fault.

Shinya started crying

It was horrible,

he understood miyabi pefectly,

cuz it was the same as die and he.

"Why're u crying??" Miyabi asked surprised taking shinya's face in his hands
and looking into his teary eyes.

"I'm sorry." said shinya trying to escape from the pain he was feeling
desperately.

The drummer stand up quickly and started walking to the kitchen, he didn't need
anything from there, but he just had the urge to get away from the dark haired
guitarist.

I love, and he doesn't love me back, he don't even care.

But even though i still think in fact i'm sure that we're meant to be together,
that it's fate.

Miyabi loves me, at least that's what he said, i don't love him.

But then again he still think that we're meant to be together and that i love
him, just that i haven't realized abt it yet.

Is that how's gonna be always.

I just can't understand it.

Why does it has to be so complex, everything.

Pain, life.

He started making some tea, that would relax him a bit.

China black tea.

He was lost in the fragance of the dark liquid when he felt a strong pair of
arms around his waist holding him from behind roughly.

"Miyabi-kun??" he said trying to calm down.

Maybe it doesn't have to be that way.

Maybe he's right and i love him, just that i don't know it

(Gods Shinchan ><~maharet~)

i mean really.

what do i know abt love??? Nothing!!

Then how can i be sure.

Die doesn't care anyway. he just don't want me to be with someone cuz that way
he's not gonna be able to have me all the time listening to his problems, he's
so selfish.

I don't wanna be alone,

Everybody needs someone.

He already has many ppl around.

I'm sure he must love at least one of them.

"Shinya...i'm not gonna give up so easily, u're mine, and u will always be"
said Miyabi kissing shinya's neck sensually.

Shinya let go a moan.

"I'm gonna go now, but i'll be back tomorrow, u have all that time to think abt
it" the younger man said walking away slowly.

Shinya looked at miyabi walking through the kitchen and then to the couch.

"Miyabi-kun listen" he said approaching the guitarist, who was picking up some
stuffs before leaving.

"uh?"

Miyabi lifted his head hearing the drummer's tender voice next to him.

"I." shinya was trying to talk but he felt unsure.

"he's dangerous.you gotta be carefull, please stay away from him, but even
that, now that you know him is not enough, you gotta be really carefull" he
could hear totchi's words still echoing inside his head.

Miyabi was staring at shinya expectant for whatever the drummer was trying to
say.

The room was silent.

In fact it seemed as if the world had just stopped.

Shinya raised his hand to caress miyabi's cheek when the bedroom's door opened
and a messy Die came out yawning.

Both men looked at the red haired in obvious shock, while the elder man passed
right beside them without even noticed that he wasn't alone, too sleepy to
realize abt anything yet.

He stared at the sun that was shinning outside of the window.

"too bright" he muttered calmly.

Then he closed the curtains and entered the kitchen leaving the two now
paralyzed men alone again, but in darkness.

Both men were speechless just staring at eachother.

Gods!!!!!!!!! I can't believe it!!!!!!!

How can be in this world someone so disorientated and foolish as that
baka!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He didn't even notice..

He fucking slept for the whole day and he's still sleepy???????

I'm dead now.

But maybe it was a signal ne

After all he just appeared in the right moment.

"Miyabi, abt what i was going to tell ya...it was nothing, dont' worry" he said
sheepishly looking at his own feet blushed.

This is so embarrassing.

I'm not gonna be able to look at his face again.

"Shinya..So that's it?? U're with him.

All this time, it didn't meant anything to you???"said Miyabi furious, with a
murderer look in his beautiful face approaching shinya violently.

"No, Miyabi-kun, u gotta it all wrong.

It's not like that, we're just friends, of corse the time we shared meant
something to me, u're very important in my life is just that i don't love u"
the drummer said frightened trying to maintain the distance between them
uselessly.

Stupid die!!!!!

This is all ur fault.

He thought holding back the tears that filled his beautiful eyes.

Miyabi hold him roughly while he was trying to escape from the forced embrace
desperately.

"Why're u crying?? shinya are u scared?? Of me??" said Miyabi huskily.

Shinya looked into the younger man's dark eyes and nodded carefully, he didn't
want to upset the other man even more.

"Babe, i don't want u to fear me, i could never hurt u, i love u" he said
caressing shinya's pale neck softly.

Shinya felt alleviated

Of corse miyabi wasn't going to hurt me

What the hell's wrong with me.

"I know miyabi-kun, sorry" he said with a small smile in his tender lips.

Miyabi went down and kissed those lips eagerly, forcing shinya to let in his
tongue roughly.

"No!!!!please i already told u" screamed Shinya pushing the guitarist apart.

"U don't get it, right?" said Miyabi slapping shinya's cheek hardly and holding
him by his fragile wrists.

Shinya was crying again, but this time he didn't try to held the tears back, he
just let them flow freely..the pain in his cheek was like a chill through his
body.

In that moment Die who was now a bit more lucid than before went out of the
kitchen and saw finally what was going on.

Miyabi was next to the couch standing in front of the window he was holding
shinya's fragile figure by the wrist without mercy.

Shinya was beetwen conscious and madness it seemed that all the strength and
power had left his body, he was just a lifeless body in Miyabi's cruel hands,
the only thing that indicated shinya was alive were the tears falling for his
cheeks..oceans of tears.

"What do u think u're doing??" asked Die pushing Miyabi against the wall,
releasing Shinya.

Miyabi just looked at him hatefully, with a bitter smile.

"Get Out of here now!!!!!!!" said Die with his face full of anger ready to kill
the other man.

The other guitarist just passed beside him to the door and before he left he
just said softly "I love u shinya, u're mine remember that, forever".

Die was ready to go and murder Miyabi when he heard Shinya crying softly
against the wall.

"Shinchan..are u ok beauty?" Die asked worried trying to see the younger man's
face that was hidden against his knees.

Shinya didn't answer.

"C'mon shinchan don't be like this, i'm really worried abt u" said die sadly.

"It was all my fault."said shinya sobbing with his head still buried into his
knees, not daring to look into die's eyes.

"What're u talking abt???are u crazy???how could all this be ur fault??if this
is someone's fault is mine i was the one that was sleeping when all happened, i
wasn't there for u when u needed me" said die while thin marks were left in his
cheeks for tears too.

"No!!!!It was my fault i didn't listen to u nor Totchi, i just thought it would
be so nice to have someone..." said shinya loudly lifting his face finally and
staring straight into die's sweet eyes.

Die saw the bruise that Miyabi's slap had left in shinya's cheek and caressed
it lovingly very carefully not to hurt the younger man.

"He did this to u??" asked die painfully.

He couldn't understand how someone would enjoy hurting his little shinchan.

Shinya raised his hand and took die's one away from the hurted skin tightly.

"I'm gonna kill him!!!" die grunt furious.

"no Die, please..just forget abt it ok?" shinya's pleading eyes were too much
for die.

He took shinya in his arms, holding him strongly and went to the couch without
letting the drummer go.

He played with the auburn hair beetwen his fingers caressing the drummer's face
lovingly 'til he realized that shinya was asleep.

"U already have someone.." die's voice cracked in his throat.

While the tears found their way to the guitarist gorgeous face once again.

to be continued~

email Maharet

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