by VanillaMint

note: excuse the OOC-ness^^;;;

~

The cigarette hung limply from his lips as he sat in the dressing room, staring blankly into the mirror, his right hand playing with a lighter. Flick. The flame came up in an instant flicker before it died. Flick. Again. His eyes were blank like his stare. Distracted from the world. The ashes of his cigarette fell onto his blouse and when he finally broke off from his trance, he brushed them off. He stubbed out his cigarette and threw it into the dustbin before clamping another one between his lips, leaning forward to light it.

Someone entered the room. He didn't turn around to see who it was. It could be him, but it could be anyone else. Then when he raised his head, he saw the reflection.

Mayu.

His eyes pause for a moment on the person. Then fleeted away to the table top. He swept all his things into his bag. His bleached hair fell into his eyes. They hid him from the light, from the truth, from the outside. But he couldn't hide from what's inside him. But he didn't know what it was, didn't understand what was inside him.

" Kamijo?"

The vocalist turned his head slightly towards him. " Hm?"

He thought Mayu looked a bit sad…

" Can I hitch a ride home with you?" he asked.

Kamijo shrugged. " Okay." They never spoke much to each other, only things about music and general stuff. Sometimes you couldn't even say they were friends…merely acquaintance. " What happened to your car?"

Mayu fingered the strap of his guitar case, not looking at him. There seemed to be a shadow hanging over him, over them. " Ha-…it stalled."

Kamijo forced the corners of his lips up a bit. " Let's go then," he said.

Why do I feel like this? Why won't the sadness go away? Is he sad too? Why? But somehow I always thought that fate brought us together. But for what purpose? Or maybe there was no fate at all? I am confused. I've always been…

It was silent in the car too, except for the radio. It played a romantic soundtrack from a drama that Kamijo could not recall the title. Mayu was looking out through the window. His fingers tapped against his thigh lightly. Kamijo concentrated on the road but the feeling tugged at his heart.

" You know…do you know how to get to my apartment? I feel that we're heading straight for your house," Mayu suddenly spoke. His fingers still tapped on his leg as he sat in the car that was bringing him the opposite direction from his home.

Kamijo gasped in realization. " Oh my! I am driving to my house!" he exclaimed.

Mayu started laughing. " Oh well…"

Kamijo pressed the brake pedal. " I'm so sorry. I don't know what's happening to me ne…so blur."

" Hey, don't have to turn back. Just drop me here ne…"

" Huh?"

Mayu looked outside. " I suddenly feel like taking a walk," he said. He opened the door. " Thanks for the ride."

He saw him go, fade into the dark and the feeling came back.

Why do you always leave? Always leave me? Why does…everyone leave me? I have so much plans…plans for the band, for Lareine. But those plans shattered like glass and those shards cut my heart. All of you left and I felt…I think I felt betrayed. But when you said you would joined Sodmy, I was surprised. Surprised at myself. I thought…it felt like…

And you…

Little droplets of rain fell onto his windshield. The drizzle came down like mist in the night. Kamijo touched the screen from inside the car. He stayed like that for a moment before a bitter smile appeared on his face.

" Ma…yu…"

The droplets felt like little needles when they fell on his arms and face. Little crystals of water in the darkness. They fell and pooled on the leaves and wet the grass. The park was deserted. The rain fell heavier. It wet his hair and plastered them to his face, made his clothes cling on uncomfortably to his skin. The droplets went into his eyes and some hung on his long lashes. Water splashed on the leggings of his pants as he ran.

" Mayu!" he yelled in the rain. "Mayu!!" He saw a drenched figure turn around.

Mayu looked at him with his sad face again and his eyes were sad too.

Kamijo walked with brisk steps towards him but the other man didn't move. He just waited there. In this deserted park, in this rain, he thought he could forget Kamijo for one night but…

" Kami…" Mayu didn't know what happened but the next thing he knew he was on the ground with his jaw stinging in pain. Bewildered, he looked up at the vocalist. He saw the fire in his eyes, the gritted and tensed jaw and the balled up fist that had just punched him. But slowly he realized the moisture in Kamijo's eyes were tears too. "Kamijo…"

" Why?!!" Kamijo yelled at him. " Why did you join Sodmy?! I thought you wanted to leave!!! So why didn't you just disappear?!!" he screamed at the man. His voice rang through the rain.

Mayu rubbed his sore jaw gingerly, keeping quiet. He shifted his eyes, not wanting to look at Kamijo.

Roughly Kamijo bent down and grabbed Mayu's collar, jerking him so that they were face to face. " So you find solace in your silence?! Mayu, all I want…all I want…" Kamijo's lips trembled and he really looked angry.

Mayu felt scared but suddenly Kamijo cupped his face and kissed him. His lips were warm and firm on his but they touched only briefly. Kamijo pulled back, crying. Mayu, too shocked, just froze.

" I…I…" Kamijo covered his face with his hands.

By now, the rain was coming down in a heavy downpour. They were both soaked but none of them bothered about the rain.

" Kamijo…" Mayu touched his friend's shoulder. He covered Kamijo's hands with his and peeled them off his face. His heart pained, seeing that he was really crying. Kamijo seemed so strong all the time but now he was like a broken doll.

He looked into Mayu's eyes with his glazed ones. Wrapping his arms around the other man's neck, he embraced him in a hug, wishing he would wrap his arms around his too, wishing he would hug him back but Mayu never did. Mayu just let Kamijo hold him but he would not hold Kamijo. Not even when Kamijo rested his head on his shoulders, his arms tightening around him.

Sometimes he didn't care about that anymore…

All I want…is…

…something I can never get…

That only you can give…

…but will never give to me.

 ~

owari(i think)

please gimme some commentsT__T!

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