I first revised this in mid-Nov 2006, as the influences I describe below were made too indistinct. The initial version was fine for the purposes of a CV, but not if it had the potential to undermine the consideration I did recieve throughout from many individuals, regardless of the prevailing confusion also in my life.

If I can convince myself one day that this personal summary is short enough, not too flowery, nor self-serving, I'll decide to slot at least some of the content in blue font into my CV in order to get it out of the way, and so that I can relax to focus on other things involving the acquiring and retaining of employment once I am sufficiently qualified : ~

I will mention what could be considered drawbacks, in a way that I hope is suggestive of quite a few of my characteristics.

I've used online communities in the past, to both detriment and major advantage, at consciously trying to recover and retain the conversational skills of expression I was once comfortable with before I was immersed in places that I feel had different expectations of me. Good grammar and diction received less of a consideration while I was online then. I still may disregard more formal conventions when these are unnecessary, but I am nonetheless very aware of the need for well-written English when required. Overall communication due to my physical difficulties can have ongoing ramifications for me in terms of continually recursive social feedback.

I would also like to mention yet another reason that has me anxious about what no documentation will show with regards to where my time and energy has gone. This period was initially concurrent with the above, and indeed overlapping effects ensued. This was when I was mutually relating to certain people I've naturally wanted to trust for supportive understanding in drawing the best from what each of our lives entail. What emerged from this did develop, disturbingly so, into quite a major setback in my life. I believe I was psychologically in a self-perpetuating position where I could increasingly no longer turn experiences into advantages. Doing so was indeed what I initially grew up living and breathing, and was pretty much teaching others about. It was mortifying to allow myself to be so reduced as a young adult, in very subtle incidental ways over a long period, into doing otherwise. I want to emphasize that I made a lot of mistakes myself, however, which compounded into problems that I should never blame on others. I can only claim that I now have developed a formidable emotional maturity to just plough my enthusiasm back into science and nature, with a balanced personal life.

I started out as a very conscientious person towards people, deadlines and all aspects of academic pursuits I was very keen to build upon. I am pleased that I persevered through much, often thinking I had lost such hard-fought-for skill and a lifelong personal commitment to scientific reasoning as necessary in caring for nature. I slowly regained the hope that I could still build upon all that I originally wanted to in some form - and much more sustainably than I had once thought necessary. I understand that I may have missed out on a lot with such a late entry into the workforce, but I'm ready to combine what I have missed, with what I have acquired instead.