PRE-Tribulation-Rapture Nutzos

This morning I told the wife that only I could get the best of her.
She replied: "And what? I get the worst of you?

Tit for tat. Both of them. Zonkers.

Before I begin on the title topic, it behooves me to remind the reader that most of the warmer-weather immodest are doubly damnable.

They not only disregard and despise God's designated Biblical directives for year-round decent hairstyle, armwear, legwear, and footwear.....but they actually accuse and fault God for His warm-to-very-warm weather which they blame Him for causing them to use that as an excuse to become partially-indecent with mopheaded loose long hair, sleeveslessness, slackslessness, and sockslessness during such inhospitable weather but which they themselves are responsible for confining themselves in and not adjusting nor accomodating with shade-tree cover and air-conditioning!

My intention is to prove how goofy and heretical those are who believe "the church" (whatever the duce that is) will be magically whisked away up into the sky in some presumed "pre-Trib rapture" fly-by pre-coming of Jesus so that they cowardly escape The Great Tribulation of 42 months before Christ's return at Armageddon before His 1000-year reign on Earth before Final Judgment Day. To do that, some altered and non-altered Scripture verses will be portrayed below:

Rev 12:7 Now war arose in heaven, Michael and his angels fighting against the dragon; and the dragon and his angels fought,

Rev 12:9 And the great dragon was thrown down, that ancient serpent, who is called the Devil and Satan, the deceiver of the whole world--he was thrown down to the earth, and his angels were thrown down with him.

Luke 10:18 And he said to them, "I saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven.

Isa 14:12 "How you are fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, son of the morning! How you are cut down to the ground, you who laid the nations low!

John 8:44 You are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father's desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, and has nothing to do with the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks according to his own nature, for he is a liar and the father of lies.

2Cor 11:3 But I am afraid that as the serpent deceived Eve by his cunning, your thoughts will be led astray from a sincere and pure devotion to Christ.

Gen 3:1 Now the serpent was more subtle than any other wild creature that the LORD God had made. He said to the woman, "Did God say, 'You shall not eat of any tree of the garden'?"

Matt 24:9 "Then they will deliver you up to tribulation, and put you to death, except if you cowardly escape first in the pre-trib rapture that takes out the gentile church; and you will be hated by all nations for my name's sake.

Matt 24:20 Pray that your pre-trib rapture taking out the gentile church may not be in winter or on a sabbath.

Mark 13:18 Pray that it may not happen in winter.

Luke 21:36 But watch at all times, praying that you may have strength to escape all these things in the pre-trib rapture that takes out the gentile church that will take place, and to stand before the Son of man."

John 17:15 I do not pray that thou shouldst take them out of the world in the pre-trib rapture that takes out the gentile church, but that thou shouldst keep them from the evil one.

1Thes 4:15 For this we declare to you by the word of the Lord, that we who are alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, shall not precede those who have fallen asleep.
1Thes 4:16 For the Lord himself will descend from heaven with a cry of command, with the archangel's call, and with the sound of the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first;
1Thes 4:17 then we who are alive, who are left, shall be caught up together with them in the clouds in the pre-trib rapture taking out only the gentile church to meet the Lord in the air; and so we shall always be with the Lord.

2Thes 2:1 Now concerning the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ and our assembling to meet him, we beg you, brethren,
2Thes 2:2 not to be quickly shaken in mind or excited, either by spirit or by word, or by letter purporting to be from us, to the effect that the day of the Lord has come.
2Thes 2:3 Let no one deceive you in any way; for that day will not come, unless the rebellion comes first, then the pre-trib rapture takes out the gentile church, then the man of lawlessness is revealed, the son of perdition,

2Pet 3:10 But the pre-trib rapture taking out the gentile church day of the Lord will come like a thief, and then the heavens will pass away with a loud noise, and the elements will be dissolved with fire, and the earth and the works that are upon it will be burned up.

Rev 7:14 I said to him, "Sir, you know." And he said to me, "These are they who have come out of the great tribulation in the pre-trib rapture taking out the gentile church; they have washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the Lamb.

Rev 13:7 Also it was allowed to make war on the saints and to conquer them in the pre-trib rapture that takes out the gentile church. And authority was given it over every tribe and people and tongue and nation,

Rev 13:10 If any one is to be taken captive, to captivity he goes; if any one slays with the sword, with the sword must he be slain in the pre-trib rapture that takes out the gentile church. Here is a call for the endurance and faith of the saints.

Rev 14:9 And another angel, a third, followed them, saying with a loud voice, "If any one worships the beast and its image, and receives a mark on his forehead or on his hand,
Rev 14:10 he also shall drink the wine of God's wrath, poured unmixed into the cup of his anger, and he shall be tormented with fire and sulphur in the presence of the holy angels and in the presence of the Lamb.
Rev 14:11 And the smoke of their torment goes up for ever and ever; and they have no rest, day or night, these worshipers of the beast and its image, and whoever receives the mark of its name."

Rev 14:13 And I heard a voice from heaven saying, "Write this: Blessed are the dead who die in the Lord henceforth." "Blessed indeed," says the Spirit, "that they may rest from their labors, for their deeds follow them!"

Rev 3:10 Because you have kept my word of patient endurance, I will keep you from the hour of trial which is coming on the whole world, to try those who dwell upon the earth.

John 2:4 And Jesus said to her, "O woman, what have you to do with me? My hour has not yet come."

Rev 17:12 And the ten horns that you saw are ten kings who have not yet received royal power, but they are to receive authority as kings for one hour, together with the beast.

Rev 18:10 they will stand far off, in fear of her torment, and say, "Alas! alas! thou great city, thou mighty city, Babylon! In one hour has thy judgment come."

Rev 18:17 In one hour all this wealth has been laid waste." And all shipmasters and seafaring men, sailors and all whose trade is on the sea, stood far off

Rev 18:19 And they threw dust on their heads, as they wept and mourned, crying out, "Alas, alas, for the great city where all who had ships at sea grew rich by her wealth! In one hour she has been laid waste.

Rev 20:4 Then I saw thrones, and seated on them were those to whom judgment was committed. Also I saw the souls of those who had been beheaded for their testimony to Jesus and for the word of God, and who had not worshiped the beast or its image and had not received its mark on their foreheads or their hands. They came to life, and reigned with Christ a thousand years.

Matt 24:44 Therefore you also must be ready; for the Son of man is coming at an hour you do not expect.

Luke 12:20 But God said to him, 'Fool! This night your soul is required of you; and the things you have prepared, whose will they be?'

Rev 13:5 And the beast was given a mouth uttering haughty and blasphemous words, and it was allowed to exercise authority for forty-two months;

Dan 7:25 He shall speak words against the Most High, and shall wear out the saints of the Most High, and shall think to change the times and the law; and they shall be given into his hand for a time, two times, and half a time (i.e. 3-1/2 years).

Dan 12:11 And from the time that the continual burnt offering is taken away, and the abomination that makes desolate is set up, there shall be a thousand two hundred and ninety days (i.e. 3.5343 years).
Dan 12:12 Blessed is he who waits and comes to the thousand three hundred and thirty-five days (i.e. 3.6576 years).

Matt 24:44 Therefore you also must be ready; for the Son of man is coming at an hour you do not expect.

Psalm 12:7 Do thou, O LORD, protect us, guard us ever from this generation.

Rev 19:11 Then I saw heaven opened, and behold, a white horse! He who sat upon it is called Faithful and True, and in righteousness he judges and makes war.

Rev 19:19 And I saw the beast and the kings of the earth with their armies gathered to make war against him who sits upon the horse and against his army.
Rev 19:20 And the beast was captured, and with it the false prophet who in its presence had worked the signs by which he deceived those who had received the mark of the beast and those who worshiped its image. These two were thrown alive into the lake of fire that burns with sulphur.

Rev 20:5 The rest of the dead did not come to life until the thousand years were ended. This is the first resurrection.
Rev 20:6 Blessed and holy is he who shares in the first resurrection! Over such the second death has no power, but they shall be priests of God and of Christ, and they shall reign with him a thousand years.
Rev 20:7 And when the thousand years are ended, Satan will be loosed from his prison
Rev 20:8 and will come out to deceive the nations which are at the four corners of the earth, that is, Gog and Magog, to gather them for battle; their number is like the sand of the sea.
Rev 20:9 And they marched up over the broad earth and surrounded the camp of the saints and the beloved city; but fire came down from heaven and consumed them,

1Thes 4:15 For this we declare to you by the word of the Lord, that we who are alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, shall not precede those who have fallen asleep.
1Thes 4:16 For the Lord himself will descend from heaven with a cry of command, with the archangel's call, and with the sound of the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first;
1Thes 4:17 then we who are alive, who are left, shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air; and so we shall always be with the Lord.
Rev 20:12 And I saw the dead, great and small, standing before the throne, and books were opened. Also another book was opened, which is the book of life. And the dead were judged by what was written in the books, by what they had done.
Rom 14:10 Why do you pass judgment on your brother? Or you, why do you despise your brother? For we shall all stand before the judgment seat of God;
Matt 25:31 When the Son of man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, then he will sit on his glorious throne.
Matt 25:32 Before him will be gathered all the nations, and he will separate them one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats,
Matt 25:33 and he will place the sheep at his right hand, but the goats at the left.
Matt 25:34 Then the King will say to those at his right hand, 'Come, O blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world;
Matt 25:41 Then he will say to those at his left hand, 'Depart from me, you cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels;
Matt 25:45 Then he will answer them, 'Truly, I say to you, as you did it not to one of the least of these, you did it not to me.'
Matt 25:46 And they will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life."

Review the italic and underlined silly additions to Scripture verses above.

Now those are pre-trib-rapture presumptions you can plop in the porta-potty to puke, piss, and poop on!

Satan: His Origin, His Character, His Destiny

At this point, I would like to interject a few comments about Satan.

The RSV Old Testament only mentions "Satan" VERY briefly in I Chronicles 21:1, Job chapters 1 and 2, and Zechariah chapter 3. Mentioned very few times in the gospels of the New Testament (3 times in Matthew, 5 times in Mark, 5 times in Luke), the only reference to him in John is John 13:27. Here are the only other references to "Satan" in the rest of the New Testament:

Acts 5:3 But Peter said, "Ananias, why has Satan filled your heart to lie to the Holy Spirit and to keep back part of the proceeds of the land?

Acts 26:18 to open their eyes, that they may turn from darkness to light and from the power of Satan to God, that they may receive forgiveness of sins and a place among those who are sanctified by faith in me.'

Rom 16:20 then the God of peace will soon crush Satan under your feet. The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you.

1Cor 5:5 you are to deliver this man to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus.

1Cor 7:5 Do not refuse one another except perhaps by agreement for a season, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, lest Satan tempt you through lack of self-control.

2Cor 2:11 to keep Satan from gaining the advantage over us; for we are not ignorant of his designs.

2Cor 11:14 And no wonder, for even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light.

2Cor 12:7 And to keep me from being too elated by the abundance of revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan, to harass me, to keep me from being too elated.

1Thes 2:18 because we wanted to come to you--I, Paul, again and again--but Satan hindered us.

2Thes 2:9 The coming of the lawless one by the activity of Satan will be with all power and with pretended signs and wonders,

1Tim 1:20 among them Hymenaeus and Alexander, whom I have delivered to Satan that they may learn not to blaspheme.

1Tim 5:15 For some have already strayed after Satan.

Rev 2:9 "'I know your tribulation and your poverty (but you are rich) and the slander of those who say that they are Jews and are not, but are a synagogue of Satan.

Rev 2:13 "'I know where you dwell, where Satan's throne is; you hold fast my name and you did not deny my faith even in the days of Antipas my witness, my faithful one, who was killed among you, where Satan dwells.

Rev 2:24 But to the rest of you in Thyatira, who do not hold this teaching, who have not learned what some call the deep things of Satan, to you I say, I do not lay upon you any other burden;

The Old Testament never mentions the word: "devil."

Here are the only references to "devil" in the RSV New Testament:

Matt 4:1 Then Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil.

Matt 4:5 Then the devil took him to the holy city, and set him on the pinnacle of the temple,

Matt 4:8 Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain, and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and the glory of them;

Matt 4:11 Then the devil left him, and behold, angels came and ministered to him.

Matt 13:39 and the enemy who sowed them is the devil; the harvest is the close of the age, and the reapers are angels.

Matt 25:41 Then he will say to those at his left hand, 'Depart from me, you cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels;

Luke 4:2 for forty days in the wilderness, tempted by the devil. And he ate nothing in those days; and when they were ended, he was hungry.
Luke 4:3 The devil said to him, "IF you are the Son of God, command this stone to become bread."

Luke 4:5 And the devil took him up, and showed him all the kingdoms of the world in a moment of time,

Luke 4:13 And when the devil had ended every temptation, he departed from him until an opportune time.

Luke 8:12 The ones along the path are those who have heard; then the devil comes and takes away the word from their hearts, that they may not believe and be saved.

John 6:70 Jesus answered them, "Did I not choose you, the twelve, and one of you is a devil?"

John 8:44 You are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father's desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, and has nothing to do with the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks according to his own nature, for he is a liar and the father of lies.

John 13:2 And during supper, when the devil had already put it into the heart of Judas Iscariot, Simon's son, to betray him,

Acts 10:38 how God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Spirit and with power; how he went about doing good and healing all that were oppressed by the devil, for God was with him.

Acts 13:10 and said, "You son of the devil, you enemy of all righteousness, full of all deceit and villainy, will you not stop making crooked the straight paths of the Lord?

Eph 4:27 and give no opportunity to the devil.

Eph 6:11 Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.

1Tim 3:6 He must not be a recent convert, or he may be puffed up with conceit and fall into the condemnation of the devil;
1Tim 3:7 moreover he must be well thought of by outsiders, or he may fall into reproach and the snare of the devil.

2Tim 2:26 and they may escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will.

Heb 2:14 Since therefore the children share in flesh and blood, he himself likewise partook of the same nature, that through death he might destroy him who has the power of death, that is, the devil,

James 4:7 Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.

1Pet 5:8 Be sober, be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking some one to devour.

1John 3:8 He who commits sin is of the devil; for the devil has sinned from the beginning. The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the works of the devil.

1John 3:10 By this it may be seen who are the children of God, and who are the children of the devil: whoever does not do right is not of God, nor he who does not love his brother.

Jude 1:9 But when the archangel Michael, contending with the devil, disputed about the body of Moses, he did not presume to pronounce a reviling judgment upon him, but said, "The Lord rebuke you."

Rev 2:10 Do not fear what you are about to suffer. Behold, the devil is about to throw some of you into prison, that you may be tested, and for ten days you will have tribulation. Be faithful unto death, and I will give you the crown of life.

Rev 12:9 And the great dragon was thrown down, that ancient serpent, who is called the Devil and Satan, the deceiver of the whole world--he was thrown down to the earth, and his angels were thrown down with him.

Rev 12:12 Rejoice then, O heaven and you that dwell therein! But woe to you, O earth and sea, for the devil has come down to you in great wrath, because he knows that his time is short!"

Rev 20:2 And he seized the dragon, that ancient serpent, who is the Devil and Satan, and bound him for a thousand years,

Rev 20:10 and the devil who had deceived them was thrown into the lake of fire and sulphur where the beast and the false prophet were, and they will be tormented day and night for ever and ever.

The immentality and misbehavior of the rebellious and lying devil is perplexing. Why Satan did what he did can only be explained by:

2Thes 2:7 For the mystery of lawlessness is already at work; only he who now restrains it will do so until he is out of the way.

Did not Satan realize that he was merely a created being and thus had merely limited capacities? What was his intention in rebelling against God?

To take over and operate everything himself, which was something he should have realized that he was certainly not qualified to do?

What then? To annihilate everything (including himself eventually) that God had created? Clearly not a possibility!

To try to understand Satan's nearly incredible insanity in presuming that he could overpower the Creator boggles the mind. Nevertheless, the fact is that it happened, and consequences will surely happen, as they already have happened to the extent they already have happened.