A news-making story appeared in the headlines on March 24, 2000: Wirt's leg was not taken by the Butcher.
"Contrary to popular belief, the Butcher did not take Wirt's leg! I have obtained a statement from the boy testifying that it was, in fact, friends of the fiend that took his leg.
'I know more than you'd think about that grisly fiend. His little friends got a hold of me and managed to get my leg before Griswold pulled me out of that hole,' the poor child said when asked him about the incident.
Stop accusing the wrong fiend for the taking of the boy's leg! It wasn't Butcher! I feel sorry for the Patrons of Wirt who've been boasting about avenging the child by killing Butcher. No wonder Wirt doesn't sell the high-quality items that he could. People aren't avenging the right monsters! I'd be mad too if something took my leg and someone killed the wrong fiend to avenge me. Wouldn't you?"
-Lemssociated Press, March 24, 2000
This news came as a great relief to the Butcher who, until that point, had been blamed for screwing up Wirt. Q: recently interviewed him about the trauma of being wrongfully accused.
-Lemming
Q: Hello, B--... Oh, wheecht, what the hell is that smell?
Butcher: Ahh, fresh meat!
Q: Eww, when was the last time you bathed?
Butcher: Bathe in blood of innocents!
Q: *vomits*... Ew... Was that your breath?
Butcher: *exhales in Q:'s general direction*
Q: *whips out a can of Lysol and sprays the incoming fumes* Ok, stop that, will ya?
Butcher: *BELCH*
Q: *pulls out a short bow* You stop that or else, alright?
Butcher: BOW! Bow bad! No kill ugly!
Q: Good. So, how does it feel to have the blame of screwing up Wirt taken off of your shoulders?
Butcher: Hoo-man shoulder... Mmmm...
Q: Where'd you get your Cleaver?
Butcher: Axe ugly's! You no take!
Q: Do you understand what I'm saying to you?
Butcher: *sits stupidly and stares at Q:*
Q: I know! Do you want to be smart?
Butcher: Kay.
Q: Butcher, how does it feel to not be blamed for taking Wirt's leg?
Butcher: It's a great relief, though at the time I didn't know I was blamed for anything.
Q: Your cleaver is one terrifying symbol. Where did you get it?
Butcher: Wirt sold it to me.
Q: Wirt?! This is scandal! He's no innocent little rascal, is he?
Butcher: Not at all. Don't tell Lazarus I told you, but you know that boy on the altar? Lazarus bought him from Wirt!
Q: You don't say! And was Leoric really female?
Butcher: No, he's an alien! Just look at how much taller than the other skeletons he is!
Q: GASP! Say, do you know Hephasto?
Butcher: That old son of a gun? We went to high school together! He flunked all of his classes, but his worst was Terror 101. Remember when you first met me? Scared stiff, you were! When you meet Hephasto, he's nowhere near that scary. He's just annoying by doing that cheap one-hit-kill stuff.
Q: Goodness! You certainly do know a lot of underworld gossip, don't you?
Butcher: That I do, but now that you know I have to kill you.
Q: Eh?
Butcher: *charges Q:*
Q: *hides behind a staircase* HA! Can't pass this, can you?
Butcher: *walks into the stairwell and hurls his cleaver at Q:*
Q: *SPLORCH* ARHAHRHGHAHA!!
Butcher: Ahh, fresh meat!
I guess that "only he's still alive" remark came a bit prematurely. :)
-Lemming