COSTELLOE DISQUALIFIED IN SHAME FROM EGG & SPOON RACE
Paul Costelloe, the 21 year old "intern sort of thing" in William Fry's in Dublin revealed on Wednesday that he had been disqualified from the Egg & Spoon race at the firms summer barbeque on last Friday evening, the 6th of July.
In a sensational development on Wednesday, Costelloe admitted the shameful fact about the Egg & Spoon race and what had happened. He volunteered the information to an anonymous man posing as a jumper enthusiast. It is thought that he lured Costelloe, 21 from Aughinish, Co. Clare, into a false sense of security and then he talked about what had happened the previous Friday.


The reason for Costelloe's disqualification are as yet unclear. Initially, it had been thought that he had failed a random drugs test at the event, however this has been dismissed as "an abominable suggestion of the highest order" by a William Fry spokesperson. The Spokesperson was unwilling to be drawn on the reasons either, saying that all would become clear in due course. However, he did read a prepared statement to the assembled media, including representatives from the Connacht Tribune, the Clare Champion, Galway Bay FM, Clare FM, Shannonside Northern Sound, TG4, The Readers Digest and Jumpers Monthly. The statement read as follows:

"Following the revelations about one of our staff on Wednesday, we at William Fry have prepared this statement in accordance with our rules on controversy. On the 6th day of July, 2001, Paul Costelloe, an intern in our Litigation department was disqualified from the Egg & Spoon race at our annual Summer Barbeque. The reasons for Mr. Costelloe's disqualification shall not be disclosed at this time, and the matter will be dealt with internally. However, I can confirm that Mr. Costelloe did indeed engage in behaviour which brought the Egg & Spoon race into disrepute. Such actions are frowned up by the William Fry organisation and we shall not condone them in any shape or form, now or in the future. Mr. Costelloe's behaviour was out of character on this occasion, his behaviour since he joined the firm in January has been excellent. Even up to the time of his unfortunate lapse in judgement, he had been behaving as well as ever, this was proved by his gallant 2nd place in the 3 legged race before the Egg & Spoon race. We will keep Mr. Costelloe on as he is a valued member of staff and because of his excellent record. We shall be making another statement in due course, thank you"

Mr. Costelloe, who is believed to have been planning to visit his long lost cousin Chris Evans, was yesterday carrying on as normal, so the incident does not appear to have seriously affected him as he sauntered back to his cosy "pad" in Joycean Dublin. However, a source at Fry's added, "I've known him a while now, some of them said that he might have used a boiled egg in the race so it wouldn't smash when it fell. I suppose it could happen to any of us, we see the finishing line, we can scent the glory and we will go to any lengths to get it, even if it means that we have to fiddle the rules a bit now and again"

Costelloe was an underage genius at Sports day events. He was the Augnhinish Sack race champion on 3 occasions, 1995, '96 and '98, going on to become North Clare Sack race champion in 1996. He was also victorious in the 3 legged race in Kinvara in 1997, and Aughinish Egg & Spoon Champion in 1994 and 1996, he also won "Guess the weight of the sheep" competition in 1997 and the U-18 "Throwing the bag of shit over the crossbar" competition in 1998. This makes his recent indiscretion all the more confusing, but I've no doubt he'll be back competing at the top events on the unforgiving Egg & Spoon circuit soon.