Just a quick update on the Return to Moyne, which took place on Friday 30th March 2001. Here's How It Happened Mr. Eve wanted to restore some local pride by emerging victorious in the local table quiz in Templetuohy, Thurles, which was a fundraiser for Moyne-Templetuohy GAA Club (I was reliably informed afterwards by Dom (Dev) that they raised about a grand). So he embarked on a mission to assemble a quiz team that would be greater than any team that had gone before for this all-sports table quiz. He enlisted the help of Shtevo, noted quiz specialist and former member of No. 11 Carysfort Avenue's "A" Quiz team. Shtevo was to be the GAA, bit of soccer and racing specialist. Next up he enlisted my help (me being Martin / that smurf chap). I was also a member of that quite successful 11 Carysfort Avenue "A" quiz team in 1999-2000. We had won the Radio society (I think) quiz in the Stables and came second on a tie break in the History Soc. quiz, only beaten by Hank Nomates on the night. I was more than happy to oblige. I was to be the soccer and aloof sports expert. Then to complete the team, Rob was recruited as the rugby expert. Rob also had quite a lot of quiz experience, being a member of the 11 Carysfort Avenue "B" quiz team in 1999-2000, which came 4th or 5th in some quiz, Simon himself had also been a member of that team. Rob is also known to get the odd ridiculous question correct on "15 to 1" Reserve quiz team member Ronan "Bergkamp" Hourihane refused to travel due to a fear of Tipperary, and he had to clean the house anyway. Anyway, we set off for Tipperary in high spirits. Safe in the knowledge that we were a team, built to win, but not just to win, but to win with wonder and wizardry, a dream team! The journey to Tipp was uneventful, except we took a wrong turn, but got there. As we entered the pub, the locals eyed us up nervously. More than once we were asked, "do you know young Everard?", More than once we replied yes. The ice was broken though when I told them the story about Simon and the razor in Chawke's. Eoiny Ryan made a surprise guest appearance. The quiz was due to begin at 9 p.m. and it duly began at 10:50 p.m. We suspected foul play, the locals were going to try anything to put us off. We began solidly, good rounds, scoring consistently. We were holding our own well at half time. During the half time interval, Simon was involved in a nasty altercation with a tracksuit, which left him shaken. By the time the second half kicked off, the locals were gaining the upper hand. We had a good few pints in us, Rob was talking complete sh*te. In the end, a combination of the local questions, like "Who refereed the Tipp mid under 16 hurling final in 1997?" and the fact that it went on for so long and half the team were happy out and didn't give a damn who won the Grand National that never was in 1993 (John White on Eshioness) contributed to our defeat. We finished about 5th. So, defeated, but by no means disgraced. No we were a disgrace. The "Blackburn Rovers" of quiz teams had been relegated. We didn't even win the raffle. I pulled out a ticket for Dom. Some "lucky" guy won a set of picture frames and a return ticket from Thurles to Dublin for 2 by bus. As the defeat began to sink in, Simon couldn't believe it, well he was the one that was going to have to put up with local ridicule for the next while. Leaving Templetuohy, heads hung in shame, we decided to revisit the scene of the original crime, Quinlan's in Moyne, but not before Rob outpaced the paparazzi yet again. Even Simon, the man who could smile his way out of a room with no doors, couldn't get served in Quinlan's in Moyne at 2:10 a.m..  Rob attempted a drop goal at the church and got it. By this time, Shtevo had left us to forage in the night, in North Tipp. Returned to Simon's. He then proceeded to break the law regarding fry-ups in Tipperary, where it is held that "all fry-up's shall be deemed illegal in North Tipp. unless at least one tomato is contained within the said fry-up". As if myself and Rob weren't depressed enough, Mr. Eve then insisted on telling us about the famous 1944 All-Ireland Camogie final where Tipperary failed to score, fascinating stuff. As if all this wasn't enough, myself and Rob miscalculated time and missed the Cork bus in Limerick the following day and indulged in a bit of bus chasing and caught up to it in Buttevant, bloody miles away. All in all, the Return to Moyne was disappointing, shameful even, but there will be another day and another occasion for us to return. Keep an eye out here for Moyne 3 coming soon, because apparently there is a table quiz coming up in Quinlan's in the next month or so. Everyone is welcome again and a chance for us to redeem ourselves, Moyne shall not get the better of us. I know that you all carry the song of Moyne in your hearts and I pray that you will never let it die. SPECIAL THANKS TO: Dom & Teresa Everard, for letting us wreck their house again. Eoiny Ryan, for his unexpected guest appearance. Tipperary County Council, advance thanks, Lads, will ye ever do the road between Cooleney and Moyne, it's a disgrace. Simon Everard, for knowing no answers in the quiz, as usual. Tipperary Active Water, for supplying the Budweiser in the pub. Rob, for being Rob. Gormally Car Sales, for fixing my brakes. Resident's Of Clarecastle, for probably not being able to tell where Clarecastle ends and Ennis begins, or maybe being the only people than can, bit of a mystery really. Resident's Of Moyne, for joining in the general merriment. and finally, Paul Costelloe, for his suberb array of stylish jumpers, we could all learn a lot from that man.

Moyne 2: The Return To Moyne