story2

1. Using the grill:
    When using the grill, ensure that you don't go to bed while you are cooking waffles. Waffles,
    despite their appearance can be quite a volatile item when places under a grill for 3 to 4 hours
    at a constant temperature. I would advise you not to drink before attempting to use the grill.
    If you have to, please ensure that someone else in the house gets up early so they can turn off
    grill, put out the fire and save all the spare hurls in the corner of the kitchen.

2. Using the grill (2):
    When using the grill, don't suddenly run up the stairs to change clothes leaving your chops
    unattended at a constant temperature. Under no circumstances must you leave Sean in charge
    of your chops either. Either of these options could result in a fire, which could in turn result in
    all the milk going sour and would therefore result in a row over who goes to Esso for some
    more milk.

3. Using a Fan assisted oven on a hot day in college court:
    Under no circumstances must you put a cheese supreme pizza in a fan assisted oven at 220
    degrees and then run outside to play soccer in the street for an hour and a half. This could
    result in (and it has) you forgetting that you had left a pizza in the fan assisted oven for nearly 2
    hours. If this happens, when you suddenly realise what you have done, you must fight your
    way into the kitchen whilst shouting "Eugene is going to f*cking kill me". Then you must
    remove the pizza and leave it on the floor to settle. Close the oven so the fire doesn't get out.
    Go out into the street again and show the lads what you have done. After a brief game of
    frisbee with the rock hard pizza, allow it to rest in the flower bed in 14 Carysfort avenue.
    To cool down after this emergency, have a water fight with the occupants of 16 Carysfort
    Avenue. Ring a taxi and take Hourihane to the regional to get his ankle stiched when he
    inevitably falls on his arse in the water fight. Allow innocent bystanders to take rap for house
    being submerged in water, for furniture drying outside and for grass in the shower when
    landlord calls around unannounced. Apologise to Rob when you get back from the regional.

4. Don't stick a knife in the toaster.