Ronan Hourihane Bookmakers, College Court, Castletroy, Co. Limerick

To celebrate the new year, this newly launched chain of bookmakers (1 shop/residence) have decided to offer punters a series of novelty bets on events that may or may not occur duing the year 2002. Here is a selection of what is on offer:the bets on offer and their current prices:


Sean O'Donnell to get lost in Superquinn                  
4/1

Darragh Oliver to take up basketball and join Burger King Limerick               50/1

Andy Sugrue & Simon Everard to appear in "Thunderbirds: The Movie"         33/1

Paul Costelloe to die of heat exhaustion brought on by excessive jumper wearing during the summer     100/1

Sean O'Donnell to score a goal during indoor soccer         10/1

Podge to join Queens Park Rangers on loan during the year              25/1

Phil to realise what is actually going on              5/1

John Fallon to head for goal instead of corner flag when playing soccer           12/1

Stephen Everard to cause wordwide shortage of mini mars bars           11/4

Simon Everard to "let off" a shmig         250/1

Robert Desmond to fall asleep (slip into "Rob" mode) during a rugby match         28/1

Donie C to wash the hubcap he robbed the night of my birthday         25/1

House No. 54 Plassey Village to be blamed for worldwide tea shortage           20/1

John Fallon to save another baby seal       
50/1

Gary Duffy to play indoor soccer for an hour without running to the jacks to chuck up           8/1

Any of us to be on the TV or the radio during the year         
9/2

The Leaning Tower Of Mulan approach to be approved by the Government as a way of preventing people from falling over                
66/1

David Lillis to be given the part of Statto on new Fantasy Football League show             
50/1

Martin Gormally & Ronan Hourihane to present new Fantasy Football League show         200/1

Ronan Hourihane to win Irish version of "Pop Idol"             100/1

Donie C to leave college and become a full-time poet             80/1

Rob not to break his nose during the rest of the year (because he suspects that it may be broken now)       66/1

Daire Mullan to return to the correct seat after Communion in Milford Church                16/1

Shtevo to get a job in a circus as a stilt man              33/1

Brian to be appointed co-driver in Sugrue Racing team            6/1

John Hogan to get a hair cut               14/1

Fiona Carroll to star in new film -- "The Adventures of Jeff and Doug"            12/1

Martin Gormally to stop (allegedly) talking in his sleep            5/2

Sean O'Donnell to get involved in a fight with some young lad at Sunday evening mass             16/1

The young lad to win the fight              7/2

Shtevo to break world corn flakes speed eating record               10/1