The Cage
By Alison

Comments:

This part is dedicated to Loreley and VM. Gomen VM!!!! I tried to write a lemon in this part for you...but I couldn't do it ;_; But!! I promise this fic will have one, just for you ^_^ But...don't expect it to be as good as yours O.o

Part 3
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

****
Toshiya winced and immediately froze when he saw Gackt sitting in the chair across from Yoshiki's office. Not again. Toshiya wasn't in the mood for this today. You would think that after being rejected daily for the last nine months, Gackt would have gotten the hint and realized that Toshiya didn't want to go out with him. Apparently, Gackt hadn't gotten the hint yet because there he was.

Toshiya turned around and started walking away, careful not to make any noise. He thought he would get away, but at the last second he stepped on a loose tile, which creaked under his weight, instantly alerting Gackt to his presence.

"Toshiya!" He exclaimed and rushed to the other man's side, not noticing the glare Toshiya was giving him. "Fancy seeing you here today!"

"Yes, fancy seeing you here," Toshiya replied dryly. You only wait for me here everyday, yes, fancy seeing you here, he added silently to himself.

"Well, I was just wondering, you busy tonight? Because maybe we could..." Gackt trailed off with a suggestive wink.

Toshiya rolled his eyes and moved to get by the other man, but an arm being casually placed on the wall in front of him prevented him from actually doing so.

"Come on Toshiya, don't be like this! You know we could have a lot of fun-" Gackt didn't get to finish. That day was just one day to many to be asking again.

"You know what? Just shut up!" Toshiya yelled, earning curious glances from people passing by. "You know I already have a boyfriend! And I have said no to you everyday that you ask me! Hear me now: I. Don't. Like. You. I. Don't. Want. To. Go. Out. With. You. So leave me the hell alone!"

He pushed Gackt's arm out of the way and stalked past him into Yoshiki's office, leaving the other to stare after him, blinking in shock. Toshiya had never acted like that before. Hmmm...maybe...just maybe Toshiya meant what he said about not wanting to go out with Gackt. Nah! Gackt thought and he shrugged, Toshiya was just having a bad day. He would ask again tomorrow. His mood lifted even more when he saw another pretty therapist walk past him in the hall.

"Oh Mana dear! Wait for me!" He hollered before chancing after the other man who had quickened his pace.

**

Yoshiki was only mildly surprised when Toshiya stormed into his office and flung himself down on the chair on the opposite side of Yoshiki's desk.

Setting the papers he was reading down calmly he stared at the man sitting across from him. "What was that about?"

"Gackt," Toshiya replied with a pout. "Everyday he asks me to go out with him. And everyday I tell him no! And he just won't leave me alone! Maybe I should just get Die to beat him into a pulp."

Yoshiki chuckled. "I am sure that is a really good idea, but let me talk to Gackt first before you send a jealous lover after him, okay?"

"Yeah yeah," Toshiya said with a frustrated sigh.

"Well, I think we have something more important to discuss that Gackt, right? Tell me about Kaoru."

Toshiya sighed again and slouched lower in his chair. He wasn't to excited to talk about Kaoru in any matter. The other man just creeped Toshiya out, but, he had a job to do.

"Well, the outbursts of violence are easy enough to explain." Toshiya told Yoshiki as he flipped through a handful of papers filled with hastily scrawled notes. "Child abuse. He lived with his uncle, who killed his parents, and amazingly got away with it. He used violence and even murder to get what he wanted. So growing up in that kind of environment it is only natural to Kaoru to use violence to get what he wants. But, do to the fact that he doesn't really want to be like that, he can't really control the outbursts"

"What about the lapses?" Yoshiki asked after Toshiya had handed him the slightly wrinkled sheets of paper.

The younger man shrugged. "Don't know. I guess I left to early to find out."

"Yes…I heard you were only in for about an hour. That is a very short time for you." Toshiya fidgeted uncomfortably under Yoshiki's stare.

The hinges of Yoshiki's chair squeaked loudly as he pushed them to their limits by leaning back. He regarded the man sitting across from him thoughtfully for a minute before leaning forward again. The hinges creamed in protest, causing Yoshiki to mumble and curse, promising to get his secretary to fix them.

"What is bothering you, Toshiya?" He asked gently. He had worked with Toshiya long enough to know when something was bothering him. And it was his job as the employer to make sure that all the job related problems were fixed.

Toshiya lowered his head, his blue tainted hair falling over his eyes, effectively hiding their confusion. "I guess…I guess this job just got a little…personal," He said hesitantly after a moment of silence.

Yoshiki frowned. Personal? "What do you mean by that?" Toshiya didn't answer. Yoshiki sighed, he knew it would be better not to push the other man into talking about anything he wasn't comfortable with. "Alright Toshiya, I understand. Would you like me to get someone else to take over the job for you?" Toshiya shook his head, digging his sharp nails into the leather of his chair. "Very well, but you know it can be dangerous if the job gets to personal," Yoshiki reminded him. "Just tell me if you want to drop the job."

Toshiya nodded and stood up. "I am dismissed now? It is getting late and I was going to go back in one more time."

Yoshiki waved his hand in the general direction in the door, an encouraging smile on his face. Toshiya couldn't help but smile back before he walked out of the office, this time shutting the door quietly behind him.

He was slightly surprised to see Die now occupying the chair across from Yoshiki's office. Die stood up and wrapped a supporting arm Toshiya as they headed back towards the Cage.

"You going to go back in? Or calling it a day?" Die asked.

"Going back in!" Toshiya replied to cheerfully to be sincere.

"Uh huh, well, I thought you would, so I had some of the other guys prep Kaoru, so you had better pick up the pace."

Fifteen minutes later, Toshiya was back in the depths of Kaoru's mind

##{*}##

This time he was on a bridge, and it was like watching a movie. The people on the bridge couldn't see or hear Toshiya.

The sky was dark, and the day foggy, making it hard to see long distances. A storm was coming, and it gave off an ominous feeling, like something bad was going to happen. In the distance, thunder began to rumbling and the sky was filled with the tingling feeling of electricity, even though lightning had yet to show it's face.

Toshiya noticed that all the people on the bridge had disappeared, and suddenly Kaoru had appeared in their place. He looked to be about sixteen or seventeen this time, and he still had his head of purple dyed hair.

Toshiya watched as Kaoru walked over to the bridge railing and slumped against it, staring down into the murky depths of the river below. If someone fell, the fall would kill them almost instantly, Toshiya realized.

Toshiya turned away from Kaoru when he heard laughing coming from his right. He saw a group of three boys appearing through the fog. He wasn't to surprised to find that one of them was him, this time about fourteen.

A small smile graced Toshiya's lips when he saw his younger self laughing and joking around with his two childhood friends. He remembered them. Kirito and Kohta.

Suddenly his younger self stopped, his smile fading off his face when he saw Kaoru, who had gotten up on the railing. His balance was unsteady, and the look of despair on his face was enough for Toshiya to drop his books and rush over to his side.

Kirito and Kohta watched dumbfounded as their friend grabbed the strange guy's arm and yanked him off the ledge, causing him to land directly on top of Toshiya. The two brothers looked at each other, then decided that they didn't want to get mixed up in this and left. They knew Toshiya could take care of himself.

Toshiya meanwhile hadn't moved, just stared straight up at Kaoru, who was staring back down at him. Suddenly it dawned on him exactly what was going on, and a blush spread across his face. Here he was, laying on the ground with some guy he didn't know laying on top of him who, only minutes before, was going to end his life.

"Why did you do that?" Kaoru asked, a strange look on his face.

"Huh?"

"Why did you stop me? Do you have a reason to?" Unknown to Toshiya, for the first time in years, there was a bit of hope, deep down inside of Kaoru's heart.

"Life is too precious to be wasted."

"Oh…" The two lapsed back in silence, still not moving, each strangely mesmerized with the other. Slowly, Kaoru began to lower his head to Toshiya's, but stopped when he saw the look on Toshiya's face. For a moment he though Toshiya had remembered…but it had been too many years.

He picked himself up off the younger boy and slumped against the railing. Toshiya also sat up, crossing his legs under him as he stared at the older boy across from him. He seemed familiar, but Toshiya couldn't quite place where he had seen him before.

Cocking his head to the side Toshiya spoke, "What could be so awful in your life that you feel that killing yourself is the only way out? Surely you must have something to live for."

Kaoru smiled and inched closer to Toshiya. "I do now."

A blush spread across Toshiya's face and he looked away, a shy laugher forcing its way from his lips. When he looked up again he found Kaoru's face once again only inches.

"Toshiya chan…can I kiss you?"

Toshiya pulled back in confusion. "Wait a minute, how do you know my name?"

"I heard one of your friends say it" He lied. "So, can I kiss you?"

Toshiya's blush deepened, but he nodded his head, "Yes…I suppose…if it will give you something to live for…" He trailed off as Kaoru got even closer, his nervousness returning.

The kiss came suddenly to Toshiya, and his eyes fluttered shut as his mind shut down. His eyes remained shut after Kaoru pulled away until he heard the older man laugh softly. His eyes snapped opened and his brain resume function.

Toshiya couldn't believe what he just saw. He just witnessed his teenage self kiss Kaoru! Kiss! And, like before, he couldn't remember any of it. He watched helplessly, tears threatening to fall, as his teenage self scribbled his number down on a piece of paper and stuffed it into Kaoru's hand before picking up his books, giving Kaoru a peck in the cheek, and then disappearing into the fog.

Kaoru watched after him, a smile on his face, one of true happiness, before turning and walking in the opposite direction.

"I remember that kiss to this day. Do you?"

Toshiya whirled and found Kaoru, the present day grownup one, leaning against the rail on the other side of the bridge. Once again he was smoking.

"Do you remember our first kiss? I do. I remember it like it was yesterday." He titled his head up and shut his eyes. "You lips were so soft…it was like I was in heaven…" He stayed like that for a minute, his lips curved in a smile while his cigarette burned lower and lower. When he opened his eyes and lowered his head, his eyes once again held that challenging look. "Don't you remember, my Toshiya-chan? Don't you remember that foggy day? No, of course you wouldn't we made sure of that. Just like you don't remember those days in the park. Ah, my Toshiya chan…we made sure of that…"

Toshiya winced at his words, he didn't like the way that Kaoru was referring to him like he belonged to Kaoru, when he couldn't even remember meeting the other man before this day. "What do you mean that we made sure I wouldn't remember?"

Kaoru smile grew a bit wider. "But Toshiya, if I told you, it would ruin it!"

Toshiya frowned, but had more important things to worry about when Kaoru began to close the gap between them. He began to back away when suddenly he hit a wall, and felt something wet soaking into his shirt. Toshiya frowned, they were on a bridge, there wasn't supposed to be a wall, and what was wet?!

He turned around and screamed. There was a wall, and blood was flowing down it. Toshiya knew where the blood was from. Sure enough, there was a body. And once again, the boy had looked a lot like Toshiya. The corpse was tied to the wall upside down. Its throat was slit and so were its wrists, and blood was flowing out from them, down the wall and to the floor when it made a growing pool.

Toshiya jumped and screamed again when arms clamped around his waist, holding him tight and not allowing him to move, even as the blood reached his feet. He shuttered as he felt lips on the back of his neck.

"Ah Toshiya chan, my beautiful Toshiya chan…I know what you are thinking," Kaoru mumbled in between planting kisses along Toshiya's neck. "Please don't think badly of me, I don't mean to do it…it just sort of happens. It is funny…I don't remember doing it until I am laying in bed that night…thinking of you."

"Those…those lapses you have…you are killing people during them! Then…how come there are no reports of murders?" Toshiya said, mostly to himself, his business mode replacing him fright somewhat, as he struggled to get out of Kaoru's hold.

Kaoru released him suddenly and Toshiya fell against wall. He gagged when he pulled away and found his hands and front of shirt covered in blood. This was too much. Tears spilled out of Toshiya's eyes as he stared at Kaoru, who was smiling back at him.

He smashed him palm against his leg and began to fade. The smile instantly disappeared off of Kaoru's face as shock filled his eyes.

"Toshiya! No, don't leave me! Not yet, Toshiya! Please!" He cried reaching out to take Toshiya back into his arms, but once again passed right through him.

There was pain in Kaoru's eyes. Pain and loss. Pain, loss, and longing. So much if it…Toshiya had never seen such sadness in anyone's eyes.

"Kaoru…" He whispered, then was gone.

##{*}##

Die watched as he lover silently slipped off his shoes and headed straight for the bedroom without saying a word. Toshiya had hardly spoken since he was unhooked from the Cage the second time. It was starting to creep Die out, and he had noticed they way Kaoru would look at Toshiya, and he didn't like it one bit.

He followed Toshiya into their room shortly after and found the younger man laying on the bed, he looked to be asleep, but Die could tell by the way that Toshiya's fists were clenched at his sides that he wasn't. Die lay down next to Toshiya and pulled him into his arms.

"Don't say that nothing is wrong because there is. What is it Toshiya? Please…tell me?" He asked gently, as he kissed the top of his lover's head, his nose being buried in the hair and taking in its wonderful scent.

Toshiya rolled over in Die's arms so that he was pressed up against the older man's chest. "Die…do you love me?"

"Wha-what?!" The question complete threw Die off. Was he sure what he just heard? Was the one thing in the universe that he truly and fully loved really asking him if he really loved him? "Toshiya! Of course I do! Do you even have to ask?"

Toshiya shrugged in Die's hold. "No. I just wanted to hear it."

"I love you, Totchi. I love you very very much. I love you more than anything else in the world. I love you so much that I-"

Toshiya laughed and pressed two fingers to Die's mouth, effectively cutting him off mid sentence. "Okay, okay! I hear 'ya!"

Die smiled back, glad to see Toshiya laughing. "You know…I could do something besides tell you how much I love you. I could…show you…"

Toshiya's eyes lit up, and in an instant he had wriggled free of Die's arm and pinned the older man to the bed, kissing him fiercely. Die could only smile when Toshiya pulled away to allow them both to breath.

*****

Well??? Tell me what you think, please!!! ^_^
Oh, and I am sorry for the lack of updates to the archive lately...I kind of started it at a bad time...right before my finals, you know ^^;; I am so dumb...but! As of Next Friday the updates should be more frequent ^_^ Thanks to all the writers for the support!!

-Alison

...to be continued...

email Alison

Back to fics page.