Not What It Seems
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Comment: sorry this took so long.. seriously though,
is anyone still interested in this fic? Please let me
know! C&C! PLEASE!!! ::offers pocky for anyone
who sends C&Cs::
NOTE!: /.../ indicate thoughts
//...// indicate past
~Part III~
/It's been three weeks...when is Toshiya going to
realize what happened is in the past?...even I
realized.../
Shinya punctuated his thought with an inaudible
sigh and quickly glance at their leader.
/Kaoru's just gonna shut down on us if Toshiya
becomes another stress factor added onto his
shoulders.../
Practice has been going on as usual ever since
Toshiya was discharged from the hospital three weeks
ago. And today was no different from the past fifteen
days either: the same amount of work; the same amount
of tension in the atmosphere... if not more.
Kaoru missed a beat. Again.
Who would've thought the great-leader-sama of Dir
En Grey could mess up, huh? How many times did that
happen today already?
"Break!" Kaoru all but growled out in frustration.
/I wonder if this is a sign that Kaoru's finally
cracking under the pressure.../ Shinya wondered as
Kaoru slammed the door shut behind him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Poor Die... he looks torn between following Kaoru
and keeping an eye on me...
I turned my back towards him and acted as if I was
rummaging my bag for something. I felt his eyes on my
back for a while, then.. I heard the door open and
close with a soft click.
Kyo had already fallen asleep...or maybe he was
feigning sleep... either way, he's smart for trying to
keep himself out of this mess as much as possible.
With no one there to keep an eye on me, I can
finally let my facade of nonchalant fall away.
Seems like I forgot one person.
He's looking at me with that expression of
understanding again! I hate it! HATE IT! How DARE he?
I've withstand it for the past three weeks.. But
enough is enough! How can he possibly understand what
I've been through?!
"Is there a problem, Shinya?" I snarled out.
He seems slightly taken aback by the tone of my
voice and had faltered a bit before answering, "N-no
—"
"Then stop giving me that
‘I-understand-what-you're-going-through' look!" I cut
in. "Because you DON'T!"
"Toshiya, whether you like it or not... whether I
like it or not..." he trailed off, an unidentifiable
emotion flitted across his face. A short pause then,
"I *do* understand what you are going through!"
My jaws tightened at such an arrogant assertion,
but I kept silent.
"What I *don't* understand is," he continued while
coming out towards me from behind the drum set, eyes
locked with mine the whole time. " WHY you are going
through this.... You were so lucky Toshiya... you got
away..." he finished softly.
My cheeks were blazing with fury... LUCKY??!
"If I were *LUCKY*, " I spat out that disgusting
word, "NONE of this should've happened!"
// Punches and kicks landed repeatedly on his
slender body.
They were angry... he wasn't what they had
expected him to be: a pretty GIRL. But maybe he had
lucked out. Maybe, because he was a HE, they'd just
leave him be after a beating...
"Fucking shit!"
A kick.
"After all this hard work of stalking, you turn
out to be a GUY??!?"
Another kick into the ribs before he was pulled up
by his hair. A soft whimper escaped his lips.
"Dammit! I'm horny as hell!" another voice
interjected.
"I TOLD you to go after that first one we
spotted!" came a third voice.
"Shut up!"
"What??!"
"You heard what I said."
"Fuck you!"
A snicker, "Thanks, but I'd rather fuck *him*..."
Toshiya felt panic rising from the pit of his
stomach. No.. They-they can't!
"You're a sick fuck!"
"Why not?... He has a pretty face," the voice
spoke right by his ear.
NO!
A tongue felt it's way from his chin, all the way
up his jaw line, until it reached his earlobe,
flicking it. The soft muscle was replaced by the hard
edges of teeth, biting hard.
Toshiya yelped from the sharp pain and tried to
pull away. This couldn't be happening to him! It must
be a dream, a nightmare!
The sounds of pants being unzipped brought him out
of his denial. Tear-filled eyes widened at the pure
terror that struck his heart for what's inevitably
going to happen to him.
NO!!!
"NO!!!!" him screamed, and somehow managed to
wrench himself free of the grasps of his assailants,
and he ran away blindly, with fear and adrenaline
driving him forward. //
"You can't even begin to comprehend how I feel
right now, Shinya!" Toshiya continued vehemently.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Kaoru!" Die called out as he caught up to his
pink haired friend. "You okay?"
"Yes I am," Kaoru reply without a second thought.
Die placed a firm but gentle grip on his shoulder
to prevent him from walking ahead and said softly,
"Are you sure?"
"...."
"Kaoru?"
Kaoru's shoulders sagged as if he was weighed down
by the world.
"No... I don't know...," Kaoru finally admitted,
turning around to face Die. "I don't know anything
anymore... I'm just so tired!"
"Ka–"
"Totchi, he..." Kaoru interrupted. "He looks and
acts okay, but that just proves how not okay he is...
sometimes, I wish he'd just let it all go. Why did I
fail him??" the pink-haired guitarist growled out the
frustrating question, and slumped down onto the floor,
leaning his head against the wall for support.
Die crouched down beside Kaoru, "Don't think
that... You failed no one! It was an unfortunate
accident, and like all accidents, it couldn't have
been known ahead of time."
"But—"
Die raised a hand to hush his friend. "Right now,
you need to be strong... Don't break down on us! For
us, especially for Totchi. He needs your support most
right now!"
Kaoru managed a small smile, eyes slightly red
from unshed tears, "Arigatou, Die."
Die jumped up to a standing position, "Don't
mention it!" and offered a hand to help Kaoru up.
"Leader-samas aren't supposed to be sprawled all over
floors, y'know!"
Kaoru chuckled as he got up by himself, swatting
away Die's hand like a fly, "I was not sprawled on the
floor!"
The light atmosphere was interrupted by a soft
female voice, "Anou... Sumimasen..."
"Eh?" Die turned to look at the young lady, "can
we help you?"
"Yes. Is Terachi Shinya here?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Toshi—"
"You want to know how I feel?" Toshiya
interjected, taking a menacing step towards Shinya.
Unconsciously, Shinya backed away a step, actually
frightened by that mad gleam of fury that glittered
ominously in Toshiya's eyes.
Without warning, the bassist lunged forward,
grabbing auburn locks as he crushed his mouth onto
Shinya's. His pressed his fingers hard at where the
jaws meet, forcing the drummer's mouth open painfully,
as he shoved his tongue cruelly into the cavern. A
kiss of hate, a form of rape. ((ugh! I DID NOT mean
for that to rhyme >_<! ~Gackt no hime))
After a long struggle, Shinya finally threw
Toshiya off of him with a scream of anguish, blindly
backing away from the bassist until he crashed into
his drum set, bringing drums and cymbals down with him
in one loud cacophony that woke Kyo from his
slumber... and shook Toshiya out of his madness. Kyo
watched bewildered as the terrorized drummer huddled
into a corner, eyes wide and dilated from fear,
shoulders heaving up and down due to heavy and
irregular breathing.
Kyo looked from Shinya to Toshiya to Shinya and
back at the bassist.
/What happened?/
The room became very quiet, only Shinya's heavy
breathing and incoherent mumbles could be heard. Just
as suddenly as the silence came, it was shattered by
the entrance and chit-chat of the two guitarists of
Dir en Grey with an unfamiliar looking girl, all of
whom were oblivious to what happened due to the
sound-proof studio. The three figures froze when they
noticed the state the room was in.
Kaoru was the first to speak.
"What happened?"
No response.
"WHAT HAPPENED??" They could tell Kaoru was
getting angry, and would've continued yelling if it
weren't because of the whimpering noise emitted by the
huddled figure.
Noticing the drummer's condition for the first
time since she entered the studio, the girl gasped and
rushed to Shinya's side.
"Shin-chan! Shin-chan, daijoubu??"
But Shinya's response was to whimper and shrink
away. "No," he whispered, "please go away... don't
hurt me, please... go away... go away..." A desperate
mantra.
The girl looked up, rapidly watering eyes glared
accusingly at the other four members of Dir en Grey.
"What did you do to him?!?" she demanded angrily as
she held the shaking figure.
Kaoru looked at Kyo expectantly, who glanced at
the bassist and replied, "I-I was asleep.. Woke up
when the drum set fell over..."
"Toshiya? Do you know what happened?" Kaoru asked
carefully.
"I-" Toshiya gulped nervously, "I...I didn't mean
to.. Really! I- I was just angry! I mean, how can he
claim to know what I'm going through and- and----"
"What did you do?" came the girl's voice again,
laced with cold fury.
"I- I kissed him.... forced myself onto him.."
"You. WHAT!"
The other members of DeG stared at their bassist
in disbelief.
"He- I... He keeps saying he knows how I feel!
Well, he couldn't possibly!" Toshiya defended for
himself. "So I.. I showed him how it feels to have
control taken from him... humiliated in such a
manner..." Toshiya's voice softened in shame. What
*had* he done?
"He brushed aside his traumas and pains," the girl
forced out between gritted teeth, "to help you with
YOUR traumas and pains, and THIS is how you thank
him?!"
They watched as the girl gently coaxed the fragile
drummer up onto his feet, then slowly guided him
towards the door.
Realizing that the girl intend to take Shinya
away, Kaoru rushed up to the pair.
"Where are you going?" the question was directed
at the two departing figures. When neither answered,
Kaoru grabbed Shinya by the arm to stop him, but to
the pink-head's astonishment, the drummer promptly
screamed and struggled to pull his arm out of the
guitarist's grasp.
When the latter finally loosened his hold, Shinya
immediately put some distance between himself and the
guitarist, eager to go as if the hounds of hell were
after him. It was then that Kaoru realized
/He..doesn't recognize us!/
The girl sent a death glare in Kaoru's direction.
"Stay. away. from. him!" she made sure each word had
it's...impact.
"Shin—"
"We are leaving...NOW," she interjected. "And
don't expect him back anytime soon!"
And with that said, she lead the jumpy Shinya out
of studio.
TBC
~Gackt no hime
to be continued...
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