Binary Sunset

by Jenny(Sakura)

"Thanks Die, it’s really nice of you to let me stay at your place

for the weekend.

I hope I’m not too much of a bother to you."

Shinya’s eyes shone with thankfullness as he settled down on

Die’s couch.

"Not at all Shin-chan!", Die laughed.

"You know, it makes it a lot easier for me to tease you!"

Shinya gave him a glare.

"You wouldn’t dare! I’d tell Kyo-chan and he’d bite you in no

time!"
Die grinned.

"Oh sure, he’d bite me while he’s sleeping ne. Shin-chan, have

you forgot that your little lover was a marmot in his former life?"

Shinya threw a pillow at Die who catched it, laughing.
"He was not!" Shinya whined.

"He just needs a lot of sleep to…uhm…develop his artistic nature!"

Die stared at him.

"You really believe that?"

Shinya shook his head and pouted.

"Of course not. That’s just what he told me to excuse his lazyness."
"heh…that’s good. But now tell me how you two managed to spoil

yourselves the only free days we have this month.

Shinya sighed.

"You know, Toshiya had one of his party’s again and got thrown

out of his appartement.

He said he tried to call Kaoru and then you, but none of you answered

the phone and we…well, we couldn’t possibly let him stay outside

for the night."

Die gave him a warm smile.

"See, I know perfectly well why I don’t answer the phone on weekends

when it’s our dear Toshiya.

It means nothing but trouble."
Shinya nodded.

"Yes, I realized that when he was at our place and started to invite his

friends to a party.", he sighed.

"You know, Kyo just went to sleep, but I…I can’t sleep with half a

dozen of Toshiya’s crazy friends trashing my appartement."

Die waved his hand.

"It’s alright, Shin-chan, they’ll go away again…maybe."

He took a silent moment of enjoyment from seeing the look of horror

on Shinya’s face before he continued.

"And from what I know from experience, he always helped cleaning

up after trashing someone else’s place."

Die disappeared into the small kitchen and returned short time after

with something to drink for him a and his bandmate.

He sat down opposite to Shinya.

"So…Toshiya tried to call Kaoru but he’s not at home?

Did he tell you where he wanted to go?"

Shinya shook his head.

"No. When I talked to him after practice yesterday he just said, he

had some things to do"

"Hmm…I think he’s working too much."

Shinya looked at him.

"How do you mean that?"

"Well, as I said. When he didn’t even tell you where he’ll go he’s propably

at the studio again, while he should be resting."

The drummer smiled.

"Tell him that and he’ll just tell you how much work still has to be done

and how many days we only have."

Die nodded and a sad expression crossed his handsome features.

"Yeah…but still…you know, I feel that he always tries to spare us when

there is so much work to do. Maybe he doesn’t want to overstrain us,

I don’t know.

The only things I know for sure is, that he’s rather do everything himself,

than to ask for help."
Shinya frowned.

"Why don’t you tell him how concerned you are? I tried to make it clear to

him that he needs more rest a few days ago and he just said he’d be fine

and I didn’t need to bother about him. We’re good friends, but he won’t

listen to me. Maybe he’d listen to you…"

Die looked at his younger bandmate for a few silent seconds.

Then he gave a deep sigh and let his head sink down.

"Why would he listen to me more than he does to you?

And anyway he seems so unattainable to me.

He’s always so sweet towards us and tries his best to take care of us.

Sometimes I even feel intimidated…he seems so strong."

The frail drummer nodded.

"Seems."
Die looked at him again.

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"You said he seems strong. But do you really think he is?"

Die emptied his cup of tea and set i down onto the table.

"I don’t know.", he said, getting up.

He went to the coat-stand beside the door and got his jacket.

"Eh…is it alright with you when I go out Shin-chan? I…wanted to meet

with some friends. Just make yourself at home ok?"

Shinya nodded and smiled at Die.

"Sure it’s ok. Have fun ne?"

"Yeah, and…don’t wait for me, it could get late."

When Die left, Shinya smiled to himself.

He had a pretty good idea about where Die was going.

And he prayed that his idea was correct.

just how much Kaoru really needs him

Die took his care and drove directly to the studio.

As he had expected, the lights were still on.

11:48pm, he looked at the clock, then got out of the car and walked

to the studio.

When he approached the bandroom, he could hear a guitar being

played softly.

As he opened the door, the sound ended apruptly and a pair of dark

brown eyes looked at him, surprised.

"Die! What…what are you doing here at this hour?

I thought I told you guys off for the weekend?!"

Die didn’t say a word, just walked over and sat down beside Kaoru,

who was still looking at him.

"What do you want?", he asked.

Die smiled. "To take better care of you."

Kaoru frowned and put his guitar aside "Stop kidding me, I’m fine.

But why don’t you go home and get some rest now? It’s been a long week."

"Oh, and for you it’s not been a long week? You don’t need rest?"

Kaoru blinked a few times.

"No…not yet. I’m not finished with this part yet."

Now it was Die’s turn to frown.

"But look at yourself! You got dark lines under your eyes and you

look all tired and weary!"

Kaoru shook his head.

"It’s just the light in here. I’m not tired at all.", he said, just before he

had to yawn.

"Yeah, I see. Not tired at all. Tell me, leader-sama, who are you

trying to fool? Me or yourself?"

Kaoru sighed and held his head with his right hand.

He was just feeling the beginning of a really bad headache.

"Listen Die…the guitar part of this song doesn’t sound the way I

want it to and we…I have to finish it as soon as possible if I don’t

want the new single to be delayed."

Die snorted.

"It would work out faster if you were fully rested. I won’t help us

at all if you break down because of exhaustion. The you won’t be

able to work at all."

"Oh." Kaoru closed his eyes to hide his disappointment.

Somehow he had hoped that this was about something else than just

their work which had to be finished. But who was he to hope…?

"Listen Kaoru.", Die continued, seeing the sad expression on his

friend’s face.

"I didn’t just mean it that way. It isn’t just about our work and the band,

it is about you!

You have to take better care of yourself, there are people who care a lot

for you…"

Kaoru nodded slowly.

"Yes, we have to consider the fans, they’re in sorrow after all which has

happened during the last months."

Die sighed deeply and then slowly, carefully took the other man‘s hands

into his.

Kaoru’s fingertips were red and chappy from playing the guitar for so

many hours non-stop.

Carefully, as if he was afraid to say something wrong, Die began to talk.

"I’m not talking about the fans, Kaoru. I’m talking about your friends

and bandmates…about me.", he paused for a long moment, clasping the small,

soft hands only a bit tighter, before he continued.

"I…you know the others also care a lot for you, but I don’t want to talk

about them.

Right now, it’s not important to me. I…I care a lot for you and it scares

me to see how uncautious you are about your health."

Kaoru wanted to say something, but Die layed one of his slender long fingers

onto his soft lips to quiet him.

"Listen to me please.", his voice had become softer than it was before.

"You always take care of others, but not of yourself, I…I don’t really

know how to say, but from now on I will take care of you, wether you

like it or not."

Kaoru didn’t know what to say, Die’s caring words had made him

speechless

and the feeling of his soft finger on his lips made him feel nervous.

He gulped and just stared into Die’s eyes, who looked back at him

with deep concern and an unasked question.

He took a deep breath and opened his mouth to say something, but then

didn’t because he was afraid that Die would cut the connection between

them.

So he just kept looking at Die, not saying a word, slowly feeling his

eyes began to water as he thought about how he could tell Die that…that

he had been longing to be near him for so long now…

Die started to worry when Kaoru didn’t say anything.

He felt like breaking when he saw the tears that were slipping from

Kaoru’s beautiful eyes.

Gently he cupped his face and brushed the tears away, looking at him,

asking.

"Kaoru…why are you crying? Did I make you feel bad?"

Kaoru wanted to tell him that everything was fine, but the words wouldn’t

come out, he could just sit there and start sobbing.

Die kneeled down before the low couch and hugged Kaoru close to himself,

trying to comfort him the best possible.

Kaoru moved his arms around Die’s back and also hugged him.

He moved down before Die, letting the other man cradle him in his arms,

feeling safe for the first time in a very long time.

Die felt as Kaoru stopped crying and started to relax, but didn’t let go.

He wanted to just hold him for a while, being there for him.

After some time he asked "Do you want me to bring you home?"

Kaoru shook his head.

"Please, don’t let me go………"

Die hugged him closer, gently stroking Kaoru’s soft hair.

"It’s alright, I’ll come with you, but you really need to rest now."

He released Kaoru who only let go reuctantly and got up, packing Kaoru’s

stuff for him.

When he finished, he softly nudged Kaoru who still sat on the floor,

looking as if he didn’t notice anything.

Kaoru got up and they went to Die’s car silently.

When they were heading towards Kaoru’s place, Die tried to talk to his friend.

"Do you want to tell me what is bothering you?"

He just shook his head.

"It’s alright."

When they were in Kaoru’s appartement, Die took a decision.

"Kaoru…would you mind if I stay here for the night? My place is pretty

far away, it’s late and I’m tired…"

Kaoru hesitated for some seconds, but then agreed.

"If you want, ok. I’ll get you some change clothes…there should be some

stuff which is too large for me." Kaoru blushed.

When he gave Die the clothes and disappeared into the bathroom Die knew

why he blushed.

The clothes weren’t just too large for Kaoru, they were perfectly HIS size.

And it were colours he liked.

He started to wonder if maybe Kaoru…

His thoughts were interrupted when the other man came out of the bathroom

again.

He was wairing his nightclothes~ a simple cotton-pant and a big shirt,

which hung loosely on his shoulders.

"Do…do you want to eat or drink anything?", he asked.

Die shook his head.

"No, thanks, but I’d like you to tell me what is bothering you."

"I…I’m sorry, I can’t tell you, it…it’s my problem and shouldn’t be

bothering you, really."

Kaoru backed up a little as Die walked over to him, a strange expression on

his face, but the wall was behind him.

Die grabbed his shoulders and shook him lightly.

"Why can’t you tell me? I’m not asking you, no, I’m demanding you to tell

me what’s up with you!!!", his voice had become louder, until he was

almost yelling at Kaoru~ the last thing he wanted, but the only thing he

could do at that moment.

Kaoru stared at him, shocked.

"I…can’t, please Die, let go."

But Die didn’t let him go, he was desperate for an answer and he would

get it, no matter what.

Kaoru realized that.

"Why should I let you go?!", Die asked.

"I’m in worry about you and I want to help you, but I can’t if I don’t know

your problems!!"

Tears started to fall from Kaoru’s eyes again.

"Die…you’re scaring me…"

Die gulped.

This time it was defineatly his fault.

"I…I’m sorry, but…I really need to know!! Please you must tell me, I’m

sure I can understand, whatever it is! Let me help you!"

Kaoru looked at Die’s face, only so far from his…he could smell the scent

of Die’s hair he so loved and his soft lips he so longed to be kissed from…

Yet everything seemed so far from him…

Die let go from his shoulders and embraced him softly.

"Kaoru…Kaoru, if you can’t tell me, can’t trust me, then why do I feel that I

was meant to be with you and care for you?"

Kaoru gasped, hearing Die’s words.

It couldn’t possibly be…

"When I look into your eyes I see a wish and a desire that reflects my own,

but…why can’t you tell me?"

Kaoru looked up at Die’s pleading eyes, not sure about what he felt.

"I…Die, it…it’s impossible, we…"

"Why?! Why would it be impossible to trust me? When I told you I care

for you I lied…I didn’t tell you what I really felt because I thought maybe

you…wouldn’t feel the same way, but now…I’m sure you do, you just…can’t

face the truth."

Kaoru shook his head frantically and tried to push Die away~ without success.

"Please Die, I can’t…"

"Can’t what?"

"I…can’t believe…"

"But why?"

"It’s already been so long and…and you never…seemed to care…"

"Kaoru I’m sorry I never realized my feelings before, but…now…now I…I

want to take care of you, be there for you when you need me, I…"

Die didn’t continue and Kaoru looked at him, an asking look on his face.

"I love you." Die’s voice was so soft that Kaoru thought it was a dream.

But Die’s lips, gently claiming his in a soft kiss told him it was true.

He looked into Die’s beautiful eyes and wondered how he every managed

to live without him…

"You…you’re really serious?"

Die kissed him again and smiled sweetly at the man he loved.

"Of course I am…please believe me, I will do anything to make you trust

me…you can ask me anything love…"

Kaoru buried his face in Die’s chest and whispered

"Just stay with me"

***END***

***playing forever love***

what do you think?

^______^ ^.^