All In The Band

by Kurara

***

Part 9

"Shinya, it's Die... what's wrong? Did I do any--" Click. "Shinya,
it's me again... look, I'm sorry---" Click. "Shinya---"
Click. "Damn it Shinya, listen to me!" Click. "I'm sorry... bye."

"End of messages. BEEP!"

Shinya sighed and pressed erase on his machine, hugging a pillow
again. "All the messages... him..." Shinya hugged the pillow as
hard as he could while burying his face into it, rocking back and
forth. "I'm so stupid... so so stupid... I shouldn't have drunk with
him... I knew it'd happen..." he muttered, not hearing as the door
opened and closed again. "Now he thinks I hate him..." he
sobbed, "I'm so freaking STUPID!" Shinya threw the pillow to the
side and heard someone say ow. He snapped his vision
over. "TOSHIYA?"

Toshiya rushed over to Shinya's side and held him in his arms,
pressing Shinya's head to his chest. "Shinya... Shinya.. what's
wrong?"

Shinya shook his head. "No.. I can't talk about it..."

"Why not?"

"Because..."

"Okay..." Toshiya stroked Shinya's head. "But... could I ask you
something?"

"Okay..."

"Do you hate Die?"

Shinya snapped up and looked Toshiya straight in the eye. "Of course
not! I could never hate him!"

"He thinks you do." Toshiya kept a straight face. "Shinya... I
don't know what's up with you. So you and Die slept with each
other. So what. It's bandcest! It's su---"

"This is much deeper than your stinkin' BANDCEST Toshiya...." Shinya
curled up and rested his head on his knees. "I... I can't just have
sex with him..." he muttered.

Toshiya sighed. "Shinya... whatever is going on... you have to make
sure Die knows that you don't hate him... let him speak... tell him
what you feel comfortable telling him... but.. please.. don't block
him out of your life... it's killing him." Toshiya brushed Shinya's
bangs away and kissed him on his forehead. "I'll see you at practice
tonight?" Shinya nodded. "Okay, see you then."

***

//He won't even look at me...// Die sighed and finished up the last
song before the break. //Shinya... Just... at least look at me... at
least acknowledge I'm here...//

Toshiya sighed, seeing Die's face cast so low and he walked back to
Shinya. "Shinya," he whispered.

"What?" The drummer got up and began to walk toward the couch.

"Talk to him... now..." Toshiya pleaded. "Can't you see how much
this is troubling him?"

Shinya bit his lip and nodded. "He's... he's so distant..." He
watched as Die put down his guitar and laid on another couch, back to
them. "He's not even going out to smoke."

"He's been like that since that night Shinya." Toshiya grabbed him
by the collar of the shirt and drug him over to Die, Shinya only
lightly protesting, and stopping him next to Die before running off.

Shinya bit his lip, shifting from one foot to the other, trying to
think of a way to talk to him. "Uh.. anou... Die?"

Die pressed more against the couch. "I'm sorry." He whispered.

"I'm sorry too." Shinya replied, hanging his head down.

Slowly, Die sat up and faced Shinya. "What?" He stood up and took
Shinya's hands. "Why would you be sorry? You didn't do anything."

"I... I acted like a jerk... and... well... you didn't know any
better..." Shinya looked up to Die. "I don't hate you Die.... it's
just.... I... You... you shouldn't have done that..."

"What?"

"Had..sex... with me."

"Why not? You agreed to be in this whole--"

"It's not that! Die! I... I can have sex with Kaoru, I can have sex
with Kyo, I can have sex with Toshiya. But I can't have sex... with
you." Shinya shook his head. "I'm sorry." He took his hands out of
Die's and ran away.

***

"Kyo."

Kyo twirled around, hearing his name, and was face to face with
Kaoru. "Hai?" He smiled.

"Do you know where Toshiya is?"

"No..." he shook his head. "Ne, Kaoru?"

"What?"

"Can I.. come over tonight?" Kyo shifted nervously, trying to keep
his cool.

"No. See you." Kaoru brushed past Kyo, still on the search for
Toshiya.

Kyo stood still, shock on his face. "Kaoru..." the vocalist bit his
lip. //Why's he acting so cold?// He leaned up against a wall and
looked up to the ceiling. //Why does he want Toshiya and not me?//

***

"Why not with me? Huh? Why won't Shinya have sex with me?" Die
sighed while laying in Toshiya's lap, the bassist's fingers combing
through his hair. "Is there something wrong with me? Is there some
reason he wouldn't wanna sleep with me?"

"Die... Shinya is strange, we all know that..." Toshiya responded
softly.

"I know he is! But does he have to be like this? Does he have to
reject me?" Die closed his eyes. "It was such a dream to have him
there.. you know? To feel him under me... to hear him call my
name... to know I was causing him pleasure... It was almost like...
almost as though he loved me too..."

"Die..." Toshiya put a hand on Die's cheek. "Shinya will come around
if you find out why he doesn't want you, you know that. But...
you're not gonna get anywhere unless you demand answers. Be
assertive. It may be hard, but... you have to try."

Die nodded. "I know..." //I just wish...//

***

Short part, but... oh well ^^
PLOT! PLOT! PLOT! Oh no! It's plot!
The Invisible Log,
~Kurara

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