***

Toshiya grinned like a mad man

"Toshi kun, you can’t just stop talking and grin at me like that" Shinya sighed and shook his head. Toshiya lifted an eyebrow and crossed his arms, "Oh really? And you can’t just start talking about Die and try to change the subject, Shinya"

"…what subject?"

Toshiya rolled his eyes, "Come on, you don’t want me to say the word…"

"I don’t understand what you’re talking about!!!" Shinya hastily replied.

Toshiya shot him a look

"Masturbation"

Shinya coughed, "WHAT?!!!!"

"See?! Now you blush! Come on, I have already taught you whatever you need to know! Now DO IT!!!!" Toshiya demanded, poking Shinya’s chest. The drummer yelped and stepped back, "No!" he yelled in frustration, "I will never do it!!" Toshiya gasped as Shinya rushed out the bathroom. The bassist whined and ran out following the skinny drummer, "Shinya!!!! Not fair!!"

Shinya made the –kya-kya-kya- sound again and screamed as he felt Toshiya pulling his right foot. Toshiya screamed too as he lost his balanced and Shinya giggled. The bassist yelped and fell on the bed, pulling Shinya with him. The bed made a crack sound as both bishounen fell on it. Shinya giggled more and kicked Toshiya’s arm while the older one protested but they ended up laughing.

"Baka!"

"Aho!"

*

Kyo opened his eyes

…

He looked to his right and there was a figure, sleeping. Kyo watched how the chest moved up and down regularly, and lifted his eyes to look at the face. Kirito was sleeping so peacefully, and Kyo wondered why he was still awake, the whole time. He couldn’t be able to sleep, which was funny cuz if Toshiya was Bratty and Die was Joker, Kyo was Sleepy. But there must be something occupying his mind, making him awake in this wee hour.

It must be Kirito

Yeah.

Is it love?

*

Shinya and Toshiya lay on the bed, arms wide spread, their pretty eyes opened widely, gazing into space. Toshiya parted his lips and started counting the imaginary stars that appeared on the dark ceiling. The younger man had his eyes fix on one particular area and felt the whole world swirled around. It was such a precious moment that nothing except their breathing could be heard.

"… …"

Shinya blinked and looked into that particular area intensely. He was so into it that his eyes started to spin. He couldn’t be able to focus anymore and everything was blurring. Then all the sudden, he saw the spiral, spinning and spinning into that particular area. It was not painful, but confusing.

Like the world

So confusing, so full of people, so full of things…many different things, so many thoughts…many different thoughts

He was still wondering…what is sex?

He had learned about how to ‘pleasure himself’ but he would never got to do it. It was just too weird, touching himself…but it was weird too touching others. The spiral was still spinning but this time Shinya felt his vision was sucked into it. There were so many questions in his mind. Why did people do this why did people do that…why did Toshiya teach him that? Why did kaoru and toshiya had sex? Why would Toshiya want bigger size…? Why would Kyo go out with Kirito and why…why did Die get angry with Kirito easily?

Shinya blinked and suddenly, a question popped up

Why did he kiss Die?

It’s so confusing, it’s spinning. When would he get the answers to his questions?

When?

When the time comes, that is.

Shinya blinked more, then shut his eyes.

…Toshiya…

with the stars…stars up the ‘sky’…

The stars were so beautiful, so beautiful…silver, with a tinge of blue, …so many of them spread unevenly in the sky, the night sky. Toshiya didn’t even blink once and when he did, he lost count on the stars. But they were so beautiful, and he felt as if he was willing to spend the rest of his life just merely staring at them. He took few deep breaths and smiled to himself, or rather, smiled to the stars.

Toshiya felt that he was staring at himself. The stars were like him, …pretty, silver…bluish, sparkling in the cold, dark sky.

But something was not there

Toshiya pondered confusedly

Though they sparkled, they didn’t glitter the way he wanted them to be.

So the stars were him, and the sparkles were his life…it did not glitter, his life did not glitter the way he wanted it to be.

Toshiya parted his lips more and stared as the stars faded away, one by one. He tried to count them before the whole sky disappeared but he was too slow. At that point, Toshiya knew, something was missing in his life. Something was not right…

Not everything glittered

*

Die moaned the way he never thought he could as Kaoru rubbed his hot tongue against his own and wrapped his thin arms around his waist and slightly pulled him closer. All the sudden, he just had the urge to kiss back and played with the tongue, he just wanted to inch closer and closer to the older guy. So Die kissed back, met Kaoru’s tongue fearlessly and wrapped his arms around Kaoru’s neck.

But Kaoru suddenly pulled away

"…"

Die looked at him confusedly

"A..ah…" Kaoru gasped and completely pulled away, "Gomen ne…I didn’t mean…" he stopped and blushed a little, "Die, sorry….I…" he shook his head and looked away, "It’s…I can’t control it…I…" he stuttered. The red head blinked and blushed too.

"Ne…"

"H-how do you feel though?" kaoru suddenly asked. "Did it feel different from…?" he trailed off and Die looked at him for a long time before replied, "Yeah…it surely did" Die answered with a dreamy look in his eyes. The violet head smiled and looked into his eyes, "Die…you could have asked me for help. I’d be glad to do it…you know…"

"…really?" Die blinked.

Kaoru nodded, "You’re my good friend, and I think it’s my job to introduce you to the whole new world, which is already so familiar to me! So it will be easier!" he chuckled and turned away, "There’s nothing wrong with you. But the normal confident and loud Die, when it comes to this subject, becomes very shy and…timid. It’s funny how things are different for you and me" Kaoru laughed and shook his head, "It’s interesting"

Die smiled shyly and lay back on the bed, "Stop teasing me!"

"I’m not teasing you! It’s the truth!" Kaoru looked at him, "Die…" he began and looked into Die’s eyes, "If…if you don’t mind, …" The red head blinked and looked back into Kaoru’s eyes. There was a weird sensitivity…something he had ever thought Kaoru would show. "I am willing to help you…if you don’t …" kaoru continued, but his voice was softer and softer. Then he went silent, and all Die could hear was his own heartbeat, …thumping against his chest.

It was now…or never…

Now…or …never…

Die bit his lip and studied the other man’s face. Kaoru actually looked…humble. Yes, it’s crazy but Kaoru…kaoru looked all shy and hurt-able… sensitive and…dammit! It’s now or never!!!

He’s always the seme…lemme tell you Die, this guy, Kaoru…

Die widened his eyes

He has that oozing raw sexual power…

Die remembered what Kyo had told him, well, warned him to be exact. Kaoru had ‘offered’ to help him see how having sex with a man would be like, not knowing that it would be Die’s

second- time. But Die didn’t want to be the girl. Maybe Kyo was right, Die was trying to follow Kaoru’s steps. That night with Toshiya meant nothing except it was his first time with a guy. Die felt it was right to do so, cuz Kaoru and Toshiya had sex carelessly and full stop.

Now knowing Kaoru was always the –man-, Die wanted to do the same. Die wanted to be the man all the time, he didn’t want to be the ‘girl’, the uke…But it’s now or never, and Kaoru was actually waiting patiently for him to reply!

It wouldn’t hurt to say no to kaoru but it surely wouldn’t hurt too if Die gave it a try

Or would it…?

Darn! He should’ve asked Toshiya how it felt to be fucked!!! Would it hurt like hell?

Of course!!!

But…but…it still wouldn’t hurt –that much- if he gave in to Kaoru right? Die struggled. Kaoru was experienced and a pro. He would know what to do, and he would treat Die so good cuz its Die’s first time and Die was his best fren. Besides, Kaoru actually offered and he actually looked so…shy and modest and sensitive…

Never give in Die…NEVER! That man is DANGEROUS

Die gulped

He’s like a snake, or a black panther, so smooth and slowly approaching you and lured you into his trap! You wouldn’t know when you’re already there! Kaoru is proud of his sexuality and he knew he had the right to do so, and he knew what he could do…

Kyo had told him so much, …but still, Die felt that he wouldn’t be able to resist kaoru…

Die gasped as Kaoru stroke his cheek gently with a finger. He lifted his eyes up and looked at the older man, who smiled. That smile. How could he resist that smile? And that look, in his eyes, how could he?!!! The red head felt slightly dizzy and leaned in, unconsciously. And Kaoru took that as an incentive. He leaned forward as well and planted a light kiss on Die’s lips.

The younger guitarist parted his lips in surprise and Kaoru took it as a chance to brush his tongue there.

"K…kaoru…" Die trembled as Kaoru moved ON TOP OF HIM and held his head gently.

Shit

Now what?!

You wanna be uke for the rest of your life?!

Kaoru kissed him lightly once and twice, occasionally licked his quivered lips. The older man’s hair sprawled all over him, and his hands moved to Die’s shoulders, massaging him there, relaxing him. Die moaned as Kaoru finally inserted his tongue into his mouth, brushing against his own tongue and then moved to explore. The red head felt his own hands wrapped tightly around Kaoru and rubbed his palms on Kaoru’s back.

Die opened his eyes as Kaoru sucked the skin on his neck and gasped. The feeling of Kaoru sitting on him, right there, THERE, on his pelvix…it was so.... so…so good.

"Kaoru…" Die whispered and started to buck his hips up, rubbing it on Kaoru’s. He could feel it, Kaoru’s arousal. It’s danger but Die couldn’t care anymore. If havin sex with a fren felt THIS good, then to hell with friendship! So he caught Kaoru’s lips and kissed him hard, and passionately, while at the same time his hips rubbing against Kaoru’s body. The older man groaned, and somehow reminded himself that Die was a man.

A man that had never had sex with another man. A man that always did it with girls…rough, hard, gentle, passionate…whatever it would become, Die was a man. Kaoru groaned louder feeling his lips getting bruised. When a man was filled with passion, then his actions would be based on what he felt.

This would be harsh…

Things started to get heat up as Die took Kaoru’s shirt off and kissed his chest and sucked his nipples. Kaoru opened his eyes and bit his lip, not letting himself go.

This wasn’t what he thought it would be

Die was acting as if he was…the ‘man’

And before he knew what happened, Die was already lying on top of him, nibbling down south. Kaoru moaned, trying to shove away hat sensation and concentrated on what was going on. Then suddenly Die stopped and took off his own shirt. Kaoru’s mind blurred at the sight on Die’s beautifully taut chest.

"Oh God…Die…" he moaned and pulled Die down for a hard kiss. And when it ended, Kaoru was on top and was staring deeply into Die’s eyes. Kaoru realized that whatever Die was doing, it was done unconsciously. Die didn’t resist when Kaoru unzipped his pants and took off his briefs and threw them carelessly off the floor. Die didn’t seem to mind when Kaoru dipped his head underneath and started to lick. Instead, Die curled his fingers into the soft hair of his.

Kaoru first nibbled and licked and teased along the shaft before closing his mouth totally around Die. And Die gasped and moaned and groaned his name aloud. Kaoru sucked greedily and Die started to thrust into the warmth. And as orgasm came close, Die shifted his head from left to right, from right to left, all along calling Kaoru’s name and when big O slapped him on the face, Die threw his head backward and lost his voice, pushed himself one last time into Kaoru’s mouth.

Die opened his eyes and saw the ceiling spinning, like a spiral…in some particular area, spinning and spinning…(okay, Kurara and Puka, u should know what this means. HUGE HINT!!!)

Before Kaoru’s face came to view.

Kaoru kissed him hard again and Die could taste something weird in that kiss. Like…salty?

The red head opened his eyes and Kaoru purred, lying on top of him. Die blinked and knew what he was up to. He had agreed to this, so Die undressed Kaoru quickly. The violet head shut his eyes as Die massaged him there, and purred louder. He wrapped his arms around the younger man and licked from the jaw to the ear. Die chuckled huskily and let Kaoru pumped into his hands. He squeezed a little and Kaoru gasped.

Kaoru opened his eyes and breath hot air near Die’s cheek. The red head lifted his eyes up and - …he blinked. What’s the darkness there? He first thought it was only becuz of lust that the older man lost his modest look.

"Die oh Die…" kaoru huskily whispered

"…?"

"You dun know how long I’ve been waiting for this…"

With that, Kaoru licked his cheek and nibbled down his neck.

Die just had the guts to come back to his sense and started thinking, hard. As hard as Kaoru’s mouth sucking his skin.

"…what…what do you…mean by that?!" Die started asking, his voice coarse and panicked.

O_o

Did he just fall into the trap Kyo had been talking about?

"K-kaoru, you mean…you have been WAITING for this…you mean, you…WAITED?!!" Die tried to ask the question properly but no, he was too shocked and too full of pleasure that he couldn’t even find the right words to express his confusion.

Kaoru merely smiled and looked into Die’s eyes.

Die noticed.

It was that look again, that look he noticed everytime Kaoru lay his eyes on him.

Die began to think clearly

"So, you mean…all along, …" Die’s eyes wondered around, "In the studio, band outings, my house, your house, Kyo’s house…in the control room, backstages, …Bathroom…?!!" Die trailed off not believing the realization. Kaoru sucked a nipple and looked up, "What do you think about that fan service?" he suddenly asked.

"H- huh?" Die let out, "W-what fan service?" he weakly asked

"The one you always do, the one with you playing my guitar" Kaoru fidget on top of him(>.<) and smiled. That smile, the dangerously charming smile, and that dark look again…

"How do you think it feels when your body rubbed against mine…?" Kaoru asked huskily into Die’s ear

The red head blinked and paled in horror.

"How does it feel, you think…to have your smell lingering around…in the air…" Kaoru turned him around and Die was too shocked to realize. His heart was beating madly.

"And how it feels, you think Die, to have you walking around naked in the bathroom after live?" Kaoru bent down and licked him from just below his neck to his hip. Die jumped as that hot tongue made the erotic contact with his skin. Kaoru cupped his cheeks and massaged it, then spreading it slowly.

"Die …Die… " Kaoru chanted.

"…"

"On your knees Die…"

"…"

Kaoru chuckled and kissed him gently on the shoulder, "Die, you’re very special to me" Kaoru’s voice was calm and serious, "I have waited for so long, I don’t even know when it started. But everytime I look at you, there’s this feeling slip in and you might already noticed how my eyes darkened whenever I looked at you" he placed his chin on Die’s right shoulder

"I have lusted for you…for so long …it seems forever" he kissed the shoulder lightly, "You just give me the sensation, just by looking, and the way you have your arms around me, while you play my guitar, …it’s such a torture not being able to grab you right there and then, and kiss you hard on your red lips"

Die felt Kaoru’s member near the area between his legs

"And when you want to try it out …I was overwhelmed. But when you said nobody wanted you, I felt hurt"

Die bit his lower lip

"You have looked so good to me, all the time, and it pained just to hear you say ‘I’m fat’. There’s nothing wrong with your body and I want it so much! I want to taste you, to suck your skin and pleasure you in and out"

…

Die took a deep breath

Was he really THAT special to Kaoru?

Had kaoru really lusted for him….for so long?

Kaoru, the ideal seme…wanting him, wanting to kiss him hard on the lips, wanting taste him, wanting to bitch him, wanting to pleasure him, to suck his skin..…

Die felt some kind of sensation brushed pass him and settled on his crotch

He was on again

Fuck it!

Die groaned and got up, on his knees.

Kaoru kissed him lightly on the shoulder and wrapped arms around his waist, "Domo…" he whispered. It didn’t seem to matter anymore. Kaoru had lied, Kaoru had kept the secret for long and Kaoru had pretended to be …sensitive and lured him. So Kaoru had been eyeing him, so what?

It should make things more interesting, Die convinced himself.

"Ahh!" Die jumped as he felt a finger entered him. He winced at the pain, but slowly cope with it as more fingers touched him, lathered him, stretched him. "Kaoru, ah…ahn.." was all he could say. It was so painful, it was like being ripped but somehow it felt so nice. His eyes were shut tightly and Die felt his whole body shook so he bent down and supported himself with both arms, going all fours.

"!" Die’s whole body bucked up as kaoru hit the spot. The older man smiled and touched it again and again, making Die moaned, breathing heavily, wondering what the hell kaoru was doing.

Kaoru took a deep breath, shut his eyes and inserted himself into the younger one. He heard Die gasped, in pain. He could tell and he wanted to stop, he didn’t want to hurt Die but the tightness and the warmth feeling encouraged him to do more. Die bit his lower lip and gripped the bed sheets tightly. He was sure it was ripping so badly. Then he felt Kaoru’s arms holding him gently.

"Die…daijyobu?"

The red head nodded, despite the pain, and Kaoru slowly plunged into the hole.

"Dai…Daisuke…" Kaoru uttered with pleasure, it was so tight, so hot…as for Die, he called Kaoru’s name everytime the older man hit him there. It was painful, obviously. But the sensation he felt every few seconds, whenever Kaoru touched that –particular- spot was incredible. He didn’t know what it was. Die only recognized that the pain was so intense that it had become pleasure to him.

"Kaoru…Kaoru…" Die bit his lip, trying not to moan louder but when Kaoru pinched him, he yelped. And that’s not all. Kaoru started to tease his neglected sex and Die cried out when the violet head did a little squeeze. And before long, Kaoru’s hand moved rhythmically with his thrusts. Then Die rocked accordingly to the rhythm, and at the same time widening his legs to allow easier access.

"Die…oh God…this is so good…" Kaoru felt the warm walls massaging his erection and he began to move in and out even faster, and deeper. He wanted to feel more of the warmth and the tightness. He craved for it, he had been waiting for too long. And his hands did the same, moving up and down, faster and faster making Die cried out, snapping his head back. It was so different…

it was like double

something he had never felt, something he had never experienced…

Kaoru had started to be brutal, and his hands were doing the same thing…but he didn’t mind. It was ripping him with pleasure and he wanted more and more all the sudden. So he told the older man, "Hayaku!!!" and Kaoru drove in faster and stroked Die’s length at the same speed. Then as if it wasn’t enough, he screamed "Fukaku!!!" Which Kaoru did, driving into the tight hole even deeper. Then he gasped and curved his body as orgasm hit him for the second time at that exact moment, spurting his seeds, again, all over the crumpled bed sheets.

But Kaoru was still on to it. He didn’t stop or slowed down, and Die’s head already fell on the pillow carelessly. The red head felt Kaoru spreading his cheeks even further apart and pushed himself in as deep as he could. And then Kaoru stopped.

Die smiled as a sudden warmth spurt into him. He could hear Kaoru crying out his name. But he was too exhausted to listen clearly.

"Kaoru …" he weakly whispered, and Die plopped down on the bed the same time Kaoru let him go. The violet head breathe heavily, it was as if the world exploded at that moment. That precious moment, being in Die, his best friend.

Die looked at Kaoru when the latter threw himself beside him

Kaoru gave him a lazy smile and shut his eyes, "Yokatta…" he whispered.

Die sighed tiredly and smiled back

"…so that’s how Totchi felt…" the red head slipped out.

Kaoru opened his eyes

"How do you know that’s what he felt?"

Die’s eyes snapped open

! did he say that outloud?!!

Kaoru looked at him

Die chuckled nervously, "I mean…"

…

"Well, you slept with him quite a lot of times right?"

"Yeah?" kaoru replied

Die gave out a fake laugh, "Then that must be how he felt everytime you guys have sex….right?" he tried.

"Oh…" Kaoru replied, "Yeah…maybe"

Pheeeewwwwww!!!!!!!!!

Kaoru smiled and moved his hand to stroke his face, "Tired?"

Die nodded and gave a shy smile. Kaoru smiled back and hugged him close, "Sleep ne…" he kissed Die’s forehead and the younger one cuddled up closer, feeling so good getting babied. The older man covered both their naked bodies with his blanket and turned the lights off.

"Oyasuminasai…"

"Mmnnn…" Die was too tired.

Kaoru smiled and hugged Die tighter

***

 arggg!!!!! Finally!!!!!! Sorry it’s not like what u expected, I can’t write lemon and I just can’t!!!!

lady7

to be continued...